My cleaning lady stole my engagement ring (and other jewelry) - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call troll. Typical story embellishment and refusing to answer real questions (like about police/insurance)

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you or your husband have put the box somewhere "safe" from the cleaning lady & forgotten? Bottom of laundry basket, inside a pair of tall boats, in the car?

meant tall boots, not boats, unless you do have a couple of boats around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One day I asked. MY cleaning lady if she had seen a carved wooden elephant. No monetary value and very little sentimental value. She looked like crazy for it, said her assistant was instructed never to move things, was very apologetic, offered to buy me a new elephant, etc etc. I kept telling her not to worry, it wasn't a big deal, that I thought it was in the house somewhere etc etc.
a couple of weeks go by. She keeps fretting over the elephant. I think she thought I was accusing her which I absolutely was not.
Eventually I found the elephant, in a place that I thought I had already looked but obviously had not.
Moral of story for me: I put that elephant away when we were getting ready for some housepainters, forgot I had even moved it. So, keep looking a while longer.

NP here. I agree that cleaners have far more to lose than gain from petty theft.

I once had a pair of ceramic candlesticks on my mantle. They had been a housewarming gift from a friend. Black ceramic, taper candlesticks with a hexagonal base, maybe $10-15 for the pair at HomeGoods or similar. My housecleaner broke one while cleaning once. She was so upset. I told her it didn't matter as they were not valuable. She promised to replace them. The next month, she came back and told me that she had tried so hard to find replacements just like them, but they were hard to find. She gave me a pair that were the same shape, but these were crystal and probably cost $25-30 or so each at a department store. I tried to give them back to her asking her to return them, but she was so mortified that I would blame her and fire her and she refused to accept them. Fortunately it was in the fall and I added $50 to her Christmas tip.

Most of the good housekeepers I know value their customers and almost all of the ones that I use get their primary business and new customers from word of mouth referrals. Not only is a housekeeper likely to lose a position if she steals, but she will lose future business.

As for the loss, I'm of the opposite camp. I think losing an entire jewelry box is much more likely to be owner carelessness than theft. An owner can't help but suspect theft when an entire jewelry box goes missing and a housecleaner, especially one that has been with the family for 3 years is unlikely to be so stupid as to not realize that she would be the first suspect.

I see your point, but no one living in my house would move my entire jewelry box. Why would they? Items in there are better off removed separately and secreted away for safe-keeping. Unless the box itself was broken and it was removed for repairs, but OP would not have forgotten that...

Frankly, none of the suspects seem likely starters, OP. What a mystery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could you or your husband have put the box somewhere "safe" from the cleaning lady & forgotten? Bottom of laundry basket, inside a pair of tall boats, in the car?

meant tall boots, not boats, unless you do have a couple of boats around.

I always keep a pair of matching schooners in my closet It's okay though, because my entire house has interior video surveillance, unlike the poor OP, who couldn't think to put it in the room where she keeps her valuables.

[Anonymous]

Is this a jewelery box like a large decorative box that would be obvious if it went missing? or a small box- like a pair of earrings were gifted in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a jewelery box like a large decorative box that would be obvious if it went missing? or a small box- like a pair of earrings were gifted in?

If it held a watch, it wasn't that small. Either way, as you are still with us OP, and this was treasured family/husband gifted sentimental jewelry, I'm sure that as an educated intelligent individual you had it insured. Why exactly haven't you filed that police report?

[Anonymous]

Well check the security cameras because if she took a whole jewelry box then she had to have left the room with it. That doesn't exactly fit in a pocket like a ring would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This literally can be as simple as this:

"hi Cleaner Cindy while your cleaning today can you keep an eye out for ________, we can't find it anywhere!"

"OOO sorry Mrs. Boss they are on top of the bathroom window sill, I moved them when I was cleaning last week and forgot to put them back on the dresser."

Yes. This.

[Anonymous]

It was your cousin. She is a secret crack whole and will be back next week for your husband's watch and nut ring.

[Anonymous]

Whore, obviously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I always end up finding my "missing" jewelry and feel bad thinking who may have taken it etc...
Keep looking out for it.

OP here. I sincerely hope and wish to find these. I have never really lost anything of value (I'm generally very organized). SIGH. I am so heartbroken over this.

So far, the only suggestion is that I should ask her indirectly, rather than outright? Anyone else have thoughts?

Anyone else experienced something similar? Thank you.

My parents actually did have this happen to them. The person who cleaned their house, and had for a long time, stole some very expensive silverware to pay for Christmas presents for her kids. The police found the silverware at her house; she's now on a multi-year repayment plan with my parents. (I wish they would have just forgiven the debt. The whole situation is really awful.)

So, no advice. But it's not impossible that this did happen.

Hope you find the jewelry.

[Anonymous]

I'd suspect the cousin before the cleaning lady of 3 years...if she wanted to rob you she wouldn't have waited 3 years. Your cousin that is "like" your sister is NOT your sister. I'm sure someone has already said this, I just don't feel like reading 5 pages of this.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why everyone is acting like the OP is completely ridiculous. I love my cleaning lady and trust her implicitly, but my parents and grandparents (who live/d in a country where having domestic help is common) have had items of value stolen by their employees. It's not uncommon. I'm NOT saying that all, or even most, cleaning ladies/housekeepers/babysitters do this - I'm just saying that it's not totally ridiculous speculation to suggest that it might happen.

OP, I would check with your kids (if you haven't already) and if you have teenagers, ask if they've had friends over recently. It's unlikely they'd steal from you, but you never know. I wouldn't make any accusations, but let the cleaning lady and anyone else who has been to the house recently (including your cousin, kids' friends, etc.) know that you're missing your jewelry box and ask if they've seen it. I'd probably mention in passing that you've filed a police report ("it's probably just me being an idiot, but I filed a police report just in case.") Also double and triple check anywhere it could possibly be, and then check places you think it couldn't possibly be. I once convinced myself that I left my phone in Starbucks, went back and didn't find it, decided it had been stolen from there, panicked, and then found it later that day in my pajama drawer.

[Anonymous]

Professional burglar, not cleaning lady. They steal items that are easily sold and won't be quickly missed. That's why you didn't notice it until later -- they leave everything undisturbed. Also, it's why your DVD player/etc is still there. Much easier to fence or melt jewelry and sell it than electronics.

[Anonymous]

You all are making me nervous about letting my cleaning person come while we're not home. So far she's only come on days DH works at home.

Do your cleaners have a key? Do you think someone else might have gotten access to the key?