My cleaning lady stole my engagement ring (and other jewelry) - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put some fake jewelry in there and get a camera. Catch her in the act.

Also, file a police report.

Or
Look every single place in your house your 4 year old would have stashed it. Because that is your culprit.

This is what must have happened.

[Anonymous]

I lost my engagement ring - it wasn't in the place I always put it. I tore up the house so the only obvious answer was the cleaning lady. I mentioned to her that I misplaced it and to be on the lookout for it, blaming myself for being do ditzy. Of course she didn't find it because it was in my safe deposit box. I went to get something else out of there when I found it and didn't remember putting it there until I saw it.

[Anonymous]

Why would the cleaner take the whole box, which would be quickly missed, rather than just the stuff inside? My money's on the four-year-old.

[Anonymous]

Nope, I'm more inclined to believe it was your sister-like-cousin who stole it.

If you'd said your cleaning lady had been with you 3 months, sure, go after her. But 3 years? Nah, not likely unless she's stolen other tiny things in the past that you've not noticed and worked her way up. It just doesn't ring true to me.

It's the people you don't want to believe would do something like that who probably did. Especially as others have said, if she has a secret problem. She knows that you'd never suspect her and would put the blame on the help.

If anything, I'd file a police report and say the only people who've been in your house have been mom, dad, cousin, and cleaning lady. Let the investigation go from there.

Before you accuse her, someone who has been with you for three YEARS, I'd say, "keep a look out for x, y, and z because I can't find them."

[Anonymous]

Oh, the 4 year old totally took it and hid it!

We still haven't found where my then 4 year old hid my Fitbit two years ago. She can't remember either.

Pro tip, as I was the jewelry smuggler and hider when I was 6, check your floor vents. I stashed my mom's jewelry in there when I was playing cops & robbers with my cousins. Except I forgot which vents I used. My mom and dad were finding pieces for weeks in various vents.

Also, I hate to say it, but it may have been flushed. DD had a wicked fascination with flushing the toilet at age 4. Anything she could grab went in there and got flushed.

[Anonymous]

My mom thought someone stole her engagement ring. Turns out my toddler brother threw it in the garbage disposal. Which she found out when the disposal got stuck. Kids put stuff in all sorts of weird places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put some fake jewelry in there and get a camera. Catch her in the act.

Also, file a police report.

Or
Look every single place in your house your 4 year old would have stashed it. Because that is your culprit.

Don't discount the possibility of the 4 & 1 year old working together. I have kids those ages and could totally see my 4 yo getting the box down to play with, leaving it out, then my 1 year old playing with it and stashing it somewhere. Check the toy kitchen. That's where I always find things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a jewelery box like a large decorative box that would be obvious if it went missing? or a small box- like a pair of earrings were gifted in?

If it held a watch, it wasn't that small. Either way, as you are still with us OP, and this was treasured family/husband gifted sentimental jewelry, I'm sure that as an educated intelligent individual you had it insured. Why exactly haven't you filed that police report?

It's not a large decorative jewelry box. It is about 4x4 inches, black and nondescript. If anyone wanted to "smuggle" it out, so to speak, it would not be terribly difficult to do so.

No, these items are not insured. (And yes, I feel foolish about that too.)

I think I'll go with the suggestion of asking the cleaning lady whether she's seen it and noting in passing that I intend on filing a police report. And then file one.

Every time you post, you look like a bigger idiot. Priceless, uninsured item you keep out in the open in the only camera-free place in your house. You deserve to be robbed

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let your family members off the hook. Years ago I was missing some nice jewelry DH had given me. I thought it was my cleaning lady so I let her go (but, thank goodness. didn't file police report). Fast forward a couple of years and my mother-in-law died. Guess where I found some of my jewelry? Yep, bottom level of her jewelry box.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, the 4 year old totally took it and hid it!

We still haven't found where my then 4 year old hid my Fitbit two years ago. She can't remember either.

Pro tip, as I was the jewelry smuggler and hider when I was 6, check your floor vents. I stashed my mom's jewelry in there when I was playing cops & robbers with my cousins. Except I forgot which vents I used. My mom and dad were finding pieces for weeks in various vents.

Also, I hate to say it, but it may have been flushed. DD had a wicked fascination with flushing the toilet at age 4. Anything she could grab went in there and got flushed.

I agree with the poster above.. check the floor vents.. That's where my 3 yr old hid my cell phone one day and I thought I was losing my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
There is literally no other explanation. Only my parents and my close cousin who is like a sister have visited me. They are even more unlikely than a non-related family member like the cleaner. We have not had anyone else visit during the last several weeks when these items went missing. I've searched EVERYWHERE.

Investigate your close cousin, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, the 4 year old totally took it and hid it!

We still haven't found where my then 4 year old hid my Fitbit two years ago. She can't remember either.

Pro tip, as I was the jewelry smuggler and hider when I was 6, check your floor vents. I stashed my mom's jewelry in there when I was playing cops & robbers with my cousins. Except I forgot which vents I used. My mom and dad were finding pieces for weeks in various vents.

Also, I hate to say it, but it may have been flushed. DD had a wicked fascination with flushing the toilet at age 4. Anything she could grab went in there and got flushed.

And I put my moms opal ring in a big piggy bank

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put some fake jewelry in there and get a camera. Catch her in the act.

Also, file a police report.

Or
Look every single place in your house your 4 year old would have stashed it. Because that is your culprit.

Don't discount the possibility of the 4 & 1 year old working together. I have kids those ages and could totally see my 4 yo getting the box down to play with, leaving it out, then my 1 year old playing with it and stashing it somewhere. Check the toy kitchen. That's where I always find things.

+1. Open any toy that has a door, etc. I've found stuff in the toy mailbox, the toy cash register, etc. If you've got a box of legos or toy cars, definitely look in there, as well as any other bin used for random toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put some fake jewelry in there and get a camera. Catch her in the act.

Also, file a police report.

Or
Look every single place in your house your 4 year old would have stashed it. Because that is your culprit.

Don't discount the possibility of the 4 & 1 year old working together. I have kids those ages and could totally see my 4 yo getting the box down to play with, leaving it out, then my 1 year old playing with it and stashing it somewhere. Check the toy kitchen. That's where I always find things.

+1. Open any toy that has a door, etc. I've found stuff in the toy mailbox, the toy cash register, etc. If you've got a box of legos or toy cars, definitely look in there, as well as any other bin used for random toys.

Forgot to add, we've got lots of those big Bruder toy trucks, and I find things stashed in the truck cab, or in the back of the garbage truck, all the time.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her that you cannot find the items and please keep an eye out for them while she cleans. I lock everything of value in our master closet, as well as the wine closet and office for exactly this reason. I do not want to be in the position of suspecting people who are usually innocent and hardworking. Our housekeeper would tell me how upset it would make her when another family would suspect her of taking something, only to find the item was either misplaced or borrowed by one of their kids. It made me furious since I knew how honest she was.