"Friends" who don't express condolences on FB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently lost my mother and shared this on Facebook. I got lots of very nice responses from close friends as well as other people who rarely comment on my posts. It was really nice that so many people came out of the woodwork to express their sympathy.

At the same time I was disappointed at a few "friends" who frequently post (several times a day) about their wonderful lives, but didn't even bother to say anything in response to my sad news. I am talking about friends who will comment when I have a great photo of myself ("Wow you look great"). So I know these people are definitely "following" me.

I am so tempted to unfriend these "friends." To put it in perspective, there are only a couple I can think of, and these are the narcissistic daily posters sharing each and every experience they have in their lives. So I think I get it and maybe should feel sorry for them.

Just a rant...thanks for listening.

No OP, you don't get it and I feel sorry for YOU. When I lost my parent, worrying about FB condolences was not on my list of emotional concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please tell me why anyone would want to have 5000 FB friends?

pp works in social media. I imagine it's an occupational hazard. I am sure she's embarrassed by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's Facebook. You're reading too much into it. Perhaps they didn't feel like commenting and getting 600 notifications every time other people commented.

This X1000

[Anonymous]

They probably read about it on their mobile device and couldn't write a response...after that, they just forgot about it and moved on.

[Anonymous]

Some people suck, some are clueless, and some miss your post. I have two kids with a chronic illness that I occasionally post about. There are a few FB friends who regularly ask for prayers for their dogs, but never offer up any kind of good wishes for my kids. While I understand they love their pets, both of these women are truly clueless and also kinda suck.

[Anonymous]

I basically use Facebook as a feed for news outlets, OP. 99% of what people post on FB is useless crap, so I tend to scan right past personal posts, TBH. If a friend of mine posted something like this on FB, I'd be highly likely to miss it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people suck, some are clueless, and some miss your post. I have two kids with a chronic illness that I occasionally post about. There are a few FB friends who regularly ask for prayers for their dogs, but never offer up any kind of good wishes for my kids. While I understand they love their pets, both of these women are truly clueless and also kinda suck.

They are your FB Friends. Why do you expect anything from them? Worry about what your real friends do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An acquaintance/FB "friend" lost her mother last year. She posted endless minutiae of her mother's health, condition, then death, etc. I personally found it very odd and a little creepy to do that on such a public forum--she has over 750 "friends". As if you really know that many people. So I can see it from the other perspective. I understand that losing a parent is difficult, but constant posting for attention (as this appeared to me) strikes me as creepy.

And your point is? Did you express condolence to your friend? If not, then unfollow her or unfriend. If you find it so odd, then don't expose yourself to it.

She's not a friend, that's the point. Just because FB calls them friends doesn't make it so. In fact, it's someone I met once or twice and accepted a friend request from. Prior to that, I don't recall ever really seeing anything from her which is why it struck me as odd when that suddenly started popping up. I can't outguess FB's algorithm on what shows up when. And the point is that nobody has 750 real friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media really is the beginning of the end. How old are you?? So what they didn't offer condolences in a public forum. Are you tallying who did that for some reason?? Frankly, it doesn't matter why they didn't offer condolences via FB, what matters is your mother and her memory.

Grow up!!!

Nice way to talk to someone who is grieving. Why don't you just STFU.

Grieving?? Really?? OP is mad that her FB friends who post a lot of meaningless crap didn't offer condolences upon her mother's passing?? She's not grieving. She's mad about some really stupid shit that means nothing in the grand scheme of life. Her mother died and she's worried about FB notifications?? Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media really is the beginning of the end. How old are you?? So what they didn't offer condolences in a public forum. Are you tallying who did that for some reason?? Frankly, it doesn't matter why they didn't offer condolences via FB, what matters is your mother and her memory.

Grow up!!!

Nice way to talk to someone who is grieving. Why don't you just STFU.

Grieving?? Really?? OP is mad that her FB friends who post a lot of meaningless crap didn't offer condolences upon her mother's passing?? She's not grieving. She's mad about some really stupid shit that means nothing in the grand scheme of life. Her mother died and she's worried about FB notifications?? Ok.

Thank God we have you here to arbitrate what should bother people, what's important in the grand scheme of life, and who's grieving.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't judge too harshly. Sometimes I overthink things and want to say the perfect thing...and then end up saying nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I basically use Facebook as a feed for news outlets, OP. 99% of what people post on FB is useless crap, so I tend to scan right past personal posts, TBH. If a friend of mine posted something like this on FB, I'd be highly likely to miss it.

That shows the type of friend you are, since you are admitting to not reading the personal posts.

Organize your friends into groups, it will make a world of difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently lost my mother and shared this on Facebook. I got lots of very nice responses from close friends as well as other people who rarely comment on my posts. It was really nice that so many people came out of the woodwork to express their sympathy.

At the same time I was disappointed at a few "friends" who frequently post (several times a day) about their wonderful lives, but didn't even bother to say anything in response to my sad news. I am talking about friends who will comment when I have a great photo of myself ("Wow you look great"). So I know these people are definitely "following" me.

I am so tempted to unfriend these "friends." To put it in perspective, there are only a couple I can think of, and these are the narcissistic daily posters sharing each and every experience they have in their lives. So I think I get it and maybe should feel sorry for them.

Just a rant...thanks for listening.

No OP, you don't get it and I feel sorry for YOU. When I lost my parent, worrying about FB condolences was not on my list of emotional concerns.

+1

I know it's probably the grief, but your priorities and feelings are not valid on this, OP.

I have a few friends blocked from my feed. It's not that I don't like them or care about them, but I'm tired of seeing the dozens and dozens of things they "like' every day. Every cute animal photo or WJLA news story or sad/angry for all the sad stories. It gets muddled with the real stuff, and it's all or nothing. Someone really, truly may have missed the post and you're reading way, way too much into things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please tell me why anyone would want to have 5000 FB friends?

PP here. As I mentioned, I work in social media, so it's part of the job. I do miss the intimacy of a smaller network but this is just an occupational hazard as another poster put it. I also have another 5K+ or so followers but I never see their posts in my feed as I don't follow them back. I *am* slowly starting to unfollow many of the 5K friends though as I learn more about their political views and opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media really is the beginning of the end. How old are you?? So what they didn't offer condolences in a public forum. Are you tallying who did that for some reason?? Frankly, it doesn't matter why they didn't offer condolences via FB, what matters is your mother and her memory.

Grow up!!!

Nice way to talk to someone who is grieving. Why don't you just STFU.

Grieving?? Really?? OP is mad that her FB friends who post a lot of meaningless crap didn't offer condolences upon her mother's passing?? She's not grieving. She's mad about some really stupid shit that means nothing in the grand scheme of life. Her mother died and she's worried about FB notifications?? Ok.

Thank God we have you here to arbitrate what should bother people, what's important in the grand scheme of life, and who's grieving.

Your magic man in the sky must be pissed at yours and OP's blatant disregard for the 5th commandment.... If you think that stewing over FB attention (or lack thereof) is justifiable at a time like this, you need help.

I feel sorry for both of your mothers.