Men: Would you date a woman who did not have a "real job"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny. My husband earns 6 figures. All he cares about is that I make a reasonable effort to look good, I'm kind to him and that I have got sex with him. That's all it takes.

What incredibly low standards. Why did he pick you instead of another attractive nanny if that's all he cares about?

Because she's the one who first started treating him nicely? Its cool if you think that's low standards, but she's describing the overwhelming majority of men. If my wife treats me and our family well and we're attracted to each other, that's pretty much all of my requirements for a happy marriage.

You don't care about common values for raising children, intellectual compatibility, spirituality....?

Not really, other than in the sense that someone who treats me and our children well probably inherently has many of the same values as me.

I do not think I am in a minority of men here. I think for most men, a happy marriage is one where your wife respects you, is attracted to and affectionate towards you, and treats the kids well. Period. There's really nothing else to it.

You and I would never have had a second date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have stayed away from women who couldn't keep up with me intellectually since I have been dating post (long) marriage. If I wanted that, I would of gone back to my ex.

Now that's a completely different thing. Just cause they maybe nanny or waitress but are as smart as hell then you have a good potential wife. She may not be that ambitious ,but wants to pick up a book and read it once in a while and you could do worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny. My husband earns 6 figures. All he cares about is that I make a reasonable effort to look good, I'm kind to him and that I have got sex with him. That's all it takes.

What incredibly low standards. Why did he pick you instead of another attractive nanny if that's all he cares about?

Because she's the one who first started treating him nicely? Its cool if you think that's low standards, but she's describing the overwhelming majority of men. If my wife treats me and our family well and we're attracted to each other, that's pretty much all of my requirements for a happy marriage.

You don't care about common values for raising children, intellectual compatibility, spirituality....?

Not really, other than in the sense that someone who treats me and our children well probably inherently has many of the same values as me.

I do not think I am in a minority of men here. I think for most men, a happy marriage is one where your wife respects you, is attracted to and affectionate towards you, and treats the kids well. Period. There's really nothing else to it.

You and I would never have had a second date.

¯\_(?)_/¯

[Anonymous]

I've met guys who cared about what I did for living, but most didn't. The few who cared were worried about taking me home to mommy. I wouldn't have wanted to be taken home to those mommies either so it worked out.
I have been a waitress for most of my life here in US and so have my closest girlfriends. One got a degree from GW, but is still working as a waitress. I think she just makes too much money and has to save up so she can afford to get a real job. The other one is becoming a RN and left the restaurants behind few month ago when she got hired.
We are in our late 30s and we all lost about 10 years waiting for work permits.
I don't remember too many waitresses who are not going to school or had real jobs already. We even had 2 lawyers who were working extra to pay off their student loans.
Restaurants at least in DC "hide" a lot of smart and educated people who are waiting for the work permits. The work they do now doesn't have much to do with their intelligence or drive. It's a job until the work permit arrived in mail.
Why am I still doing it? Have to wait until the 2nd kid goes to school in about 2 years and then I'll get my 1st real job.
Don't know much about retail workers or nannies though.

[Anonymous]

My wife has instructed me to marry a nanny or social worker if she passes away and gave me tips on where to meet them. One of the weirder conversations we have ever had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It certainly depends per person. I think the average Joe shmoe would only care about if the girl is hot,nice and wants to have sex. It doesn't matter if she is a hooters waitress or wmata driver.

Men from upper middle class and above date their peers. Girls who have gone to private/prep school and then a top liberal arts school or an IVY. Usually these girls are very ambitious too. They will go on to apply to law schools/med schools/ grad schools. The least ambitious ones will get a masters in teacher education or international development. They will then graduate and work in prestigious but low paying jobs. The high achievers will be top lawyers/doctors etc.

Its pretty rare for a truly well-bred UMC/UC guy to marry very down. He may marry a girl who is"writing a novel" and living off her parents funds and then because a SAHM. But they won't date a hooters waitress.

I am upper middle class. The reason we marry these women is because these women aggressively seek us out, so that's who we end up with.

I have literally never in my entire life had a male friend say to me "She's hot, nice, and the sex is great, BUT: she didn't go to a good school/doesn't have a prestigious job/is not high achieving.

I agree with this. It is well known that men want to be admired and revered and women want to be with men who inspire them and whom they admire.

In a UMC/UC Guy + LMC/LLC Woman relationship, the guy is the highly admired by the woman. These women treat their men really really well because they know he is her meal ticket. They are charming, docile and attend to their every whim. I have seen LC women who snag an UMC guy, literally change their whole schedule to be with the man. Just look at Kate Middleton, she wanted William so badly she waited for him for 10 years and stood by him through 3 humiliating public break ups. Do you think another princess would have put up with him? No.

Every LC girl I know who married up has this resilient quality. The man is their ONLY focus and they move mountains to attend to his every need and keep him happy. And they're happy to do it because they genuinely are awed by his power and wealth and deeply admire him.

In an "equal" marriage the woman are more spoiled and have more demands. They see therough the B.S and do not put up with any flaws. They hold their men to a higher standard of treatment and accomplishment.

My LC friend who married her UMC husband who is very wealthy is like this. He hardly takes her on dates or buys her gifts. One time he got her flowers and she was over the moon and gushing about them. My dh isn't as rich and we both work but he is wonderful. He brings me flowers from the grocery every weekend and I often bitch about how I wish he got mine from a florist instead. haha. Its funny really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men would you date a woman who was:

- a waitress
- a retail sales associate
- a nanny

and other such jobs. Why or why not?

Guy here. I have a friend whose married and she's a nanny. Makes decent money.

Personally I wouldn't. She has to have a career otherwise I'm not interested. That's important to me so I married a woman who has a good job and career like I do. To each their own I guess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It certainly depends per person. I think the average Joe shmoe would only care about if the girl is hot,nice and wants to have sex. It doesn't matter if she is a hooters waitress or wmata driver.

Men from upper middle class and above date their peers. Girls who have gone to private/prep school and then a top liberal arts school or an IVY. Usually these girls are very ambitious too. They will go on to apply to law schools/med schools/ grad schools. The least ambitious ones will get a masters in teacher education or international development. They will then graduate and work in prestigious but low paying jobs. The high achievers will be top lawyers/doctors etc.

Its pretty rare for a truly well-bred UMC/UC guy to marry very down. He may marry a girl who is"writing a novel" and living off her parents funds and then because a SAHM. But they won't date a hooters waitress.

I am upper middle class. The reason we marry these women is because these women aggressively seek us out, so that's who we end up with.

I have literally never in my entire life had a male friend say to me "She's hot, nice, and the sex is great, BUT: she didn't go to a good school/doesn't have a prestigious job/is not high achieving.

I agree with this. It is well known that men want to be admired and revered and women want to be with men who inspire them and whom they admire.

In a UMC/UC Guy + LMC/LLC Woman relationship, the guy is the highly admired by the woman. These women treat their men really really well because they know he is her meal ticket. They are charming, docile and attend to their every whim. I have seen LC women who snag an UMC guy, literally change their whole schedule to be with the man. Just look at Kate Middleton, she wanted William so badly she waited for him for 10 years and stood by him through 3 humiliating public break ups. Do you think another princess would have put up with him? No.

Every LC girl I know who married up has this resilient quality. The man is their ONLY focus and they move mountains to attend to his every need and keep him happy. And they're happy to do it because they genuinely are awed by his power and wealth and deeply admire him.

In an "equal" marriage the woman are more spoiled and have more demands. They see therough the B.S and do not put up with any flaws. They hold their men to a higher standard of treatment and accomplishment.

My LC friend who married her UMC husband who is very wealthy is like this. He hardly takes her on dates or buys her gifts. One time he got her flowers and she was over the moon and gushing about them. My dh isn't as rich and we both work but he is wonderful. He brings me flowers from the grocery every weekend and I often bitch about how I wish he got mine from a florist instead. haha. Its funny really.

While I appreciate you agreeing with me, just to be clear, I'm not intentionally avoiding successful women to find women I don't think can keep up with me intellectually. I just don't particularly care whether my partner has a successful career or not, in either direction.

[Anonymous]

2 of my guy friends are both UMC and very well educated.

One recently gushed to me about this girl he was dating. The first thing he said was that she was so smart and that she went to Harvard. He was definitely impressed by her credentials and intelligence.

The other has a lawyer wife who is IVY educated. His recent post on fb was a snap of his wife reading a policy book on their vacation. His proud hashtag was : #notatrophywife

[Anonymous]

DH and I have a very happy married life. I am a SAHM now and my DH does not want me to go back to work ever. I think it is because we are financially secure. So, a guy who can support a family is looking for a woman for other qualities than her paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 of my guy friends are both UMC and very well educated.

One recently gushed to me about this girl he was dating. The first thing he said was that she was so smart and that she went to Harvard. He was definitely impressed by her credentials and intelligence.

The other has a lawyer wife who is IVY educated. His recent post on fb was a snap of his wife reading a policy book on their vacation. His proud hashtag was : #notatrophywife

Good for them. What point are you trying to make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is silly - some men want a women with a "lesser" career who will be content supporting their husband, other men want a woman who is their intellectual equal and ambitious.

It is bizarre that so many women here think that a woman with a "lesser" career cannot be a man's intellectual equal, and that an intellectually equal woman might not be "ambitious" (i.e. want some highfalutin career).

Plenty of intelligent women want to be SAHMs. And thank God for that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 of my guy friends are both UMC and very well educated.

One recently gushed to me about this girl he was dating. The first thing he said was that she was so smart and that she went to Harvard. He was definitely impressed by her credentials and intelligence.

The other has a lawyer wife who is IVY educated. His recent post on fb was a snap of his wife reading a policy book on their vacation. His proud hashtag was : #notatrophywife

Good for them. What point are you trying to make?

A particular subset of UMC/UC men really appreciate or even look for intelligence and prestige from their partners as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that smart, accomplished women overestimate how much a man will value her education and professional experience. In fact, I think that men feel threatened by women who are more successful. It stings when a man at your level prefers a state school sorority bunny.

You are right that we don't value your education or your career.

You are wrong that we feel "threatened" by it. We just don't care.

Your value as a wife and mother = 95% your looks and personality, 5% your education and career

So what happens when the wife turns 50, her looks diminish and her personality is not quite so chipper? Trade her in for a new model?

Nope. If personality is still good, and sex is still happening, you keep her.

Keep in mind that at 50 your husband still remembers you and thinks of you as the 20-something hotbod he first met. No other man can play that mental tape when he's having sex with a 50-something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is silly - some men want a women with a "lesser" career who will be content supporting their husband, other men want a woman who is their intellectual equal and ambitious.

It is bizarre that so many women here think that a woman with a "lesser" career cannot be a man's intellectual equal, and that an intellectually equal woman might not be "ambitious" (i.e. want some highfalutin career).

Plenty of intelligent women want to be SAHMs. And thank God for that!

+1

One of my sisters is not particularly ambitious and is currently a waitress and a retail associate. She is very intelligent, put together and is utterly gorgeous. She always said her dream was to have a cute family and live by a lake. She was single for a while but she finally found a great BF. This guy is very rich, the son of an oil exec and is absolutely smitten with her. He is a growing a pretty illustrious career in aerospace engineering and is very smart and talented. His whole family have welcomed her with open arms and the fact that she doesn't have a fancy job isn't even brought up.