Men: Would you date a woman who did not have a "real job"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think men have a problem with a woman having the jobs you described, then you REALLY don't understand men.

+1.

- Man (BigLaw Partner)

Do you actually know anyone in BigLaw who married a waitress? I guess I agree with this in theory, but every high achieving man I know married a well-educated woman. The only exceptions I can think of are people in my parents generation (55 and older), and people who met as teenagers and kind of mapped out their lives together where she supported him through law school/medical school with one of the above jobs and the intent that she would SAH when he finished.

I know someone who married a Broadway showgirl when he was a Biglaw associate (he's now a partner). That lasted about 2 or 3 years.

And that right there is what happens. Marry the bimbo looking for a meal ticket, but don't be surprised if it doesn't last >5ys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that smart, accomplished women overestimate how much a man will value her education and professional experience. In fact, I think that men feel threatened by women who are more successful. It stings when a man at your level prefers a state school sorority bunny.

What if you went to a state school but not in sorority and have a CS degree and make significant 6 figure income. Don't diss state schools, ok to diss the sorority bunny but not the state school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that smart, accomplished women overestimate how much a man will value her education and professional experience. In fact, I think that men feel threatened by women who are more successful. It stings when a man at your level prefers a state school sorority bunny.

You are right that we don't value your education or your career.

You are wrong that we feel "threatened" by it. We just don't care.

Your value as a wife and mother = 95% your looks and personality, 5% your education and career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men would you date a woman who was:

- a waitress
- a retail sales associate
- a nanny

and other such jobs. Why or why not?

It is one thing if they have worked as these things, it is another if this is the end of her career choices and has no aspirations to do more or ability to do more. You also have to consider what type of waitress, at applebees or high end restaurant with great tips/income. Saks fur department on commission or The Gap. Nanny shared among many families who are struggling to have a nanny or nanny to wealthy family. All of thee have potential to earn very well.

Yeah basically this. The job itself isn't really the issue but I'd want someone that could contribute financially. Another issue is that retail workers and waitresses often have to work odd schedules so that can be a challenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men would you date a woman who was:

- a waitress
- a retail sales associate
- a nanny

and other such jobs. Why or why not?

It is one thing if they have worked as these things, it is another if this is the end of her career choices and has no aspirations to do more or ability to do more. You also have to consider what type of waitress, at applebees or high end restaurant with great tips/income. Saks fur department on commission or The Gap. Nanny shared among many families who are struggling to have a nanny or nanny to wealthy family. All of thee have potential to earn very well.

Yeah basically this. The job itself isn't really the issue but I'd want someone that could contribute financially. Another issue is that retail workers and waitresses often have to work odd schedules so that can be a challenge.

I think the bigger issues is if you hook up with someone with this sort of job/income(low potential) are you expecting them to contribute to the household income? Are you willing to take on all the financial burden and she take up the slack at home with the kids? Down the road (as so often happens) are you going to resent this. Better have butt load of insurance cause something happen to you then they are on the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that smart, accomplished women overestimate how much a man will value her education and professional experience. In fact, I think that men feel threatened by women who are more successful. It stings when a man at your level prefers a state school sorority bunny.

Thanks, sister.

I went to a state school, was in a sorority, and went to a T14 law school. Happily married, successful career, two great kids.I am "at your level."

Don't blame your inability to date someone on men being threatened by you. Maybe it's because you're not very nice, not because you are very smart.

[Anonymous]

I have dated rich and poor women, working and SAHM. Doesn't matter if they have the job as I can provide accordingly if I fall in love with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that smart, accomplished women overestimate how much a man will value her education and professional experience. In fact, I think that men feel threatened by women who are more successful. It stings when a man at your level prefers a state school sorority bunny.

Thanks, sister.

I went to a state school, was in a sorority, and went to a T14 law school. Happily married, successful career, two great kids.I am "at your level."

Don't blame your inability to date someone on men being threatened by you. Maybe it's because you're not very nice, not because you are very smart.

I am a man AND THIS [phone]

[Anonymous]

It certainly depends per person. I think the average Joe shmoe would only care about if the girl is hot,nice and wants to have sex. It doesn't matter if she is a hooters waitress or wmata driver.

Men from upper middle class and above date their peers. Girls who have gone to private/prep school and then a top liberal arts school or an IVY. Usually these girls are very ambitious too. They will go on to apply to law schools/med schools/ grad schools. The least ambitious ones will get a masters in teacher education or international development. They will then graduate and work in prestigious but low paying jobs. The high achievers will be top lawyers/doctors etc.

Its pretty rare for a truly well-bred UMC/UC guy to marry very down. He may marry a girl who is"writing a novel" and living off her parents funds and then because a SAHM. But they won't date a hooters waitress.

[Anonymous]

This is silly - some men want a women with a "lesser" career who will be content supporting their husband, other men want a woman who is their intellectual equal and ambitious.

Just like some women want to marry a big law partner with a big paycheck and others want to marry the middle manager who prioritizes getting home to his family.

We want spouses that will support the life and values we have

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny. My husband earns 6 figures. All he cares about is that I make a reasonable effort to look good, I'm kind to him and that I have got sex with him. That's all it takes.

What incredibly low standards. Why did he pick you instead of another attractive nanny if that's all he cares about?

Because she's the one who first started treating him nicely? Its cool if you think that's low standards, but she's describing the overwhelming majority of men. If my wife treats me and our family well and we're attracted to each other, that's pretty much all of my requirements for a happy marriage.

You don't care about common values for raising children, intellectual compatibility, spirituality....?

Not really, other than in the sense that someone who treats me and our children well probably inherently has many of the same values as me.

I do not think I am in a minority of men here. I think for most men, a happy marriage is one where your wife respects you, is attracted to and affectionate towards you, and treats the kids well. Period. There's really nothing else to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It certainly depends per person. I think the average Joe shmoe would only care about if the girl is hot,nice and wants to have sex. It doesn't matter if she is a hooters waitress or wmata driver.

Men from upper middle class and above date their peers. Girls who have gone to private/prep school and then a top liberal arts school or an IVY. Usually these girls are very ambitious too. They will go on to apply to law schools/med schools/ grad schools. The least ambitious ones will get a masters in teacher education or international development. They will then graduate and work in prestigious but low paying jobs. The high achievers will be top lawyers/doctors etc.

Its pretty rare for a truly well-bred UMC/UC guy to marry very down. He may marry a girl who is"writing a novel" and living off her parents funds and then because a SAHM. But they won't date a hooters waitress.

I am upper middle class. The reason we marry these women is because these women aggressively seek us out, so that's who we end up with.

I have literally never in my entire life had a male friend say to me "She's hot, nice, and the sex is great, BUT: she didn't go to a good school/doesn't have a prestigious job/is not high achieving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that smart, accomplished women overestimate how much a man will value her education and professional experience. In fact, I think that men feel threatened by women who are more successful. It stings when a man at your level prefers a state school sorority bunny.

You are right that we don't value your education or your career.

You are wrong that we feel "threatened" by it. We just don't care.

Your value as a wife and mother = 95% your looks and personality, 5% your education and career

So what happens when the wife turns 50, her looks diminish and her personality is not quite so chipper? Trade her in for a new model?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny. My husband earns 6 figures. All he cares about is that I make a reasonable effort to look good, I'm kind to him and that I have got sex with him. That's all it takes.

What incredibly low standards. Why did he pick you instead of another attractive nanny if that's all he cares about?

Because she's the one who first started treating him nicely? Its cool if you think that's low standards, but she's describing the overwhelming majority of men. If my wife treats me and our family well and we're attracted to each other, that's pretty much all of my requirements for a happy marriage.

You don't care about common values for raising children, intellectual compatibility, spirituality....?

Not really, other than in the sense that someone who treats me and our children well probably inherently has many of the same values as me.

I do not think I am in a minority of men here. I think for most men, a happy marriage is one where your wife respects you, is attracted to and affectionate towards you, and treats the kids well. Period. There's really nothing else to it.

There is nothing else to it as long as the perfect scenario goes on forever. I have seen it a thousand times, shit hits the fan you loose a job or get ill and she has no ability to pick up the slack. You become financially ruined and she blames you. Or that money you make isn't really enough to meet up to her spending or wants and needs and you get the blame. Lord forbid she or you want out of the marriage, you will pay alimony for the next 20yrs while you are entertaining your kids with cheap pizza in your 1 bdr apartment cause that is all you can afford any more. Absolutely, that is all that makes a marriage work hot wife that is nice to you and the kids.

[Anonymous]

I have stayed away from women who couldn't keep up with me intellectually since I have been dating post (long) marriage. If I wanted that, I would of gone back to my ex.