Mom still talks trash about other woman (now dad's wife)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP the more you post, the more you sound in awe of your stepmother's success. You tolerate your mother's pain. However, I think your mom sense a sense of abandonment from you and acceptance and support for the other woman/stepmom. Maybe she trashes the other woman to remind you that stepmom is not as you great as you make her out to be.

Does she ever trash her ex-husband? He is the one that broke the vows and left her fiancially and emotionally insecure.

I don't know what you're reading. I mentioned in one post that my stepmom makes more than my mother does. Can a child even abandon their parent?

You seem delusional.

Not delusional at all. But, you made the original post. You sought feedback from strangers on an anonymous board. Maybe it's just you OP. You want to hear what at you want to hear. I get it. You want everybody to validate your thoughts and actions, and those who don't have the problem. Well, you have received thoughts from varying different viewpoints. You have some validation from some, and diverging opinions from others. Take the validating posts you seek and disgard all others. But really, there is no need to attack those you have contrary opinions about a girl/woman who post on an anonymous board, seeking thoughts from strangers about her family life. Delusional. Have you looked in a mirror lately. DCUM always bring some form of entertainment.

[Anonymous]

OP - i understand what you're saying, you are not responsible for your mothers happiness, you should not need to carry the emotional burden of something that happened when you were a child, and you should be allowed to have a relationship with your father and his family whether or not he has done something awful to your mother. People aren't all good or all bad. I don't have any advice to you other than don't let the unproductive posters get to you. They are the bitter women whose husbands cheated on them that are currently wrecking their own children with that emotional weight.

[Anonymous]

OP - i understand what you're saying, you are not responsible for your mothers happiness, you should not need to carry the emotional burden of something that happened when you were a child, and you should be allowed to have a relationship with your father and his family whether or not he has done something awful to your mother. People aren't all good or all bad. I don't have any advice to you other than don't let the unproductive posters get to you. They are the bitter women whose husbands cheated on them that are currently wrecking their own children with that emotional weight.

Seriously? You think the only way someone might have sympathy with a Mom who was cheated on and had her marriage *annulled* would be is because they are bitter cheated-upon harpies who want to wreck their own children? Seriously? Seriously? Jeez you guys are cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP the more you post, the more you sound in awe of your stepmother's success. You tolerate your mother's pain. However, I think your mom sense a sense of abandonment from you and acceptance and support for the other woman/stepmom. Maybe she trashes the other woman to remind you that stepmom is not as you great as you make her out to be.

Does she ever trash her ex-husband? He is the one that broke the vows and left her fiancially and emotionally insecure.

I don't know what you're reading. I mentioned in one post that my stepmom makes more than my mother does. Can a child even abandon their parent?

You seem delusional.

Not delusional at all. But, you made the original post. You sought feedback from strangers on an anonymous board. Maybe it's just you OP. You want to hear what at you want to hear. I get it. You want everybody to validate your thoughts and actions, and those who don't have the problem. Well, you have received thoughts from varying different viewpoints. You have some validation from some, and diverging opinions from others. Take the validating posts you seek and disgard all others. But really, there is no need to attack those you have contrary opinions about a girl/woman who post on an anonymous board, seeking thoughts from strangers about her family life. Delusional. Have you looked in a mirror lately. DCUM always bring some form of entertainment.

Yes, it sure does, especially from thirsty trolls like you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - i understand what you're saying, you are not responsible for your mothers happiness, you should not need to carry the emotional burden of something that happened when you were a child, and you should be allowed to have a relationship with your father and his family whether or not he has done something awful to your mother. People aren't all good or all bad. I don't have any advice to you other than don't let the unproductive posters get to you. They are the bitter women whose husbands cheated on them that are currently wrecking their own children with that emotional weight.

That's quite a generalization about people who have empathy for someone who was treated very badly. Perhaps you identify more with the OW/stepmother. Okay. Doesn't mean other posters are bitter women with husbands who cheated.

[Anonymous]

OP, why don't you just thrust a knife in your mom's heart? You clearly want to. My guess is, daddy and his wifey have the big bucks and you need to cater to them to make sure you get a nice, juicy inheritance. Nothing more, nothing less, makes you as disgusting as they are. Or, you are a homewrecker yourself. Either way, let's see how you feel when it happens to you. Hey, maybe your husband's new wife can take custody of your children too? You should be over that in a few years too, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she needs to hear you say she didn't deserve what he did to her, before she can put it behind her. At least when talking to you.

OP here. I'm surprised at how many people on this thread seem to think I'm somehow responsible for my mother's well-being: how I should be there for her emotionally, how I should make it clear I'm on her "side," how I should let her vent and bitch ad nauseum. I started this thread because I'm tired of this exact behavior of hers. Her emotional well-being is not my responsibility, and it shouldn't be.

I haven't gotten into the specifics of my mother's personality, but she is a narcissist and was abusive to me growing up. We are not particularly close. Yet she has a need to tear into dad's wife every time we get together. FWIW I had zero emotional support or even forthright conversations about what was going on when the information about the affair came out. My dad left and my mother feel apart.

Well, it's interesting that you have a narcissistic and abusive mom, but the thing that you feel comfortable being angry with her about is her negative obsession with the former AP/stepmom. If she has a personality disorder, maybe she's latch on to the issue of dad's unfaithfulness/stepmom because it's one where she was objectively wronged (getting an annulment from a spouse with whom you had children is cold). And maybe it bothers you, because it's too uncomfortable/discordant for you to actually acknowledge the abuse you suffered, instead it feels safer to displace your anger on this, admittedly annoying, side issue.

I call major, major BS on the addition of these details to OP's story. They are highly relevant, yet not added until later. I think inheritance-hungry PP has it right. You are gross, OP, go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you just thrust a knife in your mom's heart? You clearly want to. My guess is, daddy and his wifey have the big bucks and you need to cater to them to make sure you get a nice, juicy inheritance. Nothing more, nothing less, makes you as disgusting as they are. Or, you are a homewrecker yourself. Either way, let's see how you feel when it happens to you. Hey, maybe your husband's new wife can take custody of your children too? You should be over that in a few years too, right?

And, by the way, you mentioned that your father and his wife have their own children. You aren't gonna see a penny, hon.

[Anonymous]

It was fifteen years ago, your mom needs to move on.

I've been cheated on, there's more than one half sibling to my son. I have a half sibling of my own, conceived and born between my full brother and I.

After 15 years life has to go on.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is so obvious that you are hearing from a bunch of bitter, angry ex-wives. It's actually beyond sad, it's rather pathetic.

Yes, I was cheated on. Yes, it was painful. Divorce sucks. However, it had absolutely nothing to do with my kids. I worked through the pain like an adult. I got therapy. I very, very rarely even think about my ex husband and his wife. We see each other at graduations, weddings, etc. We are nice to each other. We are adults.

Your mom's behavior is completely inappropriate. She needs therapy. Next time she brings up your dad or stepmother, shut her down. Politely tell her you will no longer engage in conversations about them. If she continues, walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - i understand what you're saying, you are not responsible for your mothers happiness, you should not need to carry the emotional burden of something that happened when you were a child, and you should be allowed to have a relationship with your father and his family whether or not he has done something awful to your mother. People aren't all good or all bad. I don't have any advice to you other than don't let the unproductive posters get to you. They are the bitter women whose husbands cheated on them that are currently wrecking their own children with that emotional weight.

That's quite a generalization about people who have empathy for someone who was treated very badly. Perhaps you identify more with the OW/stepmother. Okay. Doesn't mean other posters are bitter women with husbands who cheated.

Nope - cheated on wife, that would NEVER burden my children with my ex's and my problems or in any way want to complicate her life, deprive her of a part of her family if she chooses to maintain a relationship with them. Kids (even adult ones) should not have to pick sides or teams, and they definitely shouldn't hear the person that contributed half of their DNA and created their life be trashed. Its up to them to make their own call about their dad and I don't want them to pay for his sins. THEY'RE YOUR CHILDREN, THEY ARE NOT YOUR CARETAKER OR FRIEND. use your friends or therapist for vent sessions - you can vent all you want and deserve all the empathy in the world, but not from your child at their expense. What's wrong with you people

[Anonymous]

OP - I suggest you stop reading this, if you still are. You know you have a right to not be burdened with your parents' issues - in no world is what your mom doing ok despite how justifiably hurt she is. Find real life support and ignore these people who clearly think the kids should pick sides, complex family relationships be damned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - i understand what you're saying, you are not responsible for your mothers happiness, you should not need to carry the emotional burden of something that happened when you were a child, and you should be allowed to have a relationship with your father and his family whether or not he has done something awful to your mother. People aren't all good or all bad. I don't have any advice to you other than don't let the unproductive posters get to you. They are the bitter women whose husbands cheated on them that are currently wrecking their own children with that emotional weight.

That's quite a generalization about people who have empathy for someone who was treated very badly. Perhaps you identify more with the OW/stepmother. Okay. Doesn't mean other posters are bitter women with husbands who cheated.

Nope - cheated on wife, that would NEVER burden my children with my ex's and my problems or in any way want to complicate her life, deprive her of a part of her family if she chooses to maintain a relationship with them. Kids (even adult ones) should not have to pick sides or teams, and they definitely shouldn't hear the person that contributed half of their DNA and created their life be trashed. Its up to them to make their own call about their dad and I don't want them to pay for his sins. THEY'RE YOUR CHILDREN, THEY ARE NOT YOUR CARETAKER OR FRIEND. use your friends or therapist for vent sessions - you can vent all you want and deserve all the empathy in the world, but not from your child at their expense. What's wrong with you people

In fact, adulterers' behaviors DO burden their children. That's why kids and many adults need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - i understand what you're saying, you are not responsible for your mothers happiness, you should not need to carry the emotional burden of something that happened when you were a child, and you should be allowed to have a relationship with your father and his family whether or not he has done something awful to your mother. People aren't all good or all bad. I don't have any advice to you other than don't let the unproductive posters get to you. They are the bitter women whose husbands cheated on them that are currently wrecking their own children with that emotional weight.

You must be the adulteress PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP the more you post, the more you sound in awe of your stepmother's success. You tolerate your mother's pain. However, I think your mom sense a sense of abandonment from you and acceptance and support for the other woman/stepmom. Maybe she trashes the other woman to remind you that stepmom is not as you great as you make her out to be.

Does she ever trash her ex-husband? He is the one that broke the vows and left her fiancially and emotionally insecure.

I don't know what you're reading. I mentioned in one post that my stepmom makes more than my mother does. Can a child even abandon their parent?

You seem delusional.

Not delusional at all. But, you made the original post. You sought feedback from strangers on an anonymous board. Maybe it's just you OP. You want to hear what at you want to hear. I get it. You want everybody to validate your thoughts and actions, and those who don't have the problem. Well, you have received thoughts from varying different viewpoints. You have some validation from some, and diverging opinions from others. Take the validating posts you seek and disgard all others. But really, there is no need to attack those you have contrary opinions about a girl/woman who post on an anonymous board, seeking thoughts from strangers about her family life. Delusional. Have you looked in a mirror lately. DCUM always bring some form of entertainment.

Yes, it sure does, especially from thirsty trolls like you!

Yes, because a troll is anyone who doesn't share my point of view. The word troll is so overused and understood.