Why do some parents choose not to do homework with their children?

[Anonymous]

Pssst...aren't you kids supposed to be on Fairfax Underground? Why do you go onto a middle aged mom's forum anyway?

[Anonymous]

I am on OP's side. Not sure why it seems so unusual here that an involved parent sacrifices and is at the same time proud of their children plus supervises homework as needed. I do the same and have similar feelings as OP. If that puts me in a minority I don't mind being part of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am on OP's side. Not sure why it seems so unusual here that an involved parent sacrifices and is at the same time proud of their children plus supervises homework as needed. I do the same and have similar feelings as OP. If that puts me in a minority I don't mind being part of it.

Good for you, PP! Now OP is not the only member of the Best Mother Club. That's nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am on OP's side. Not sure why it seems so unusual here that an involved parent sacrifices and is at the same time proud of their children plus supervises homework as needed. I do the same and have similar feelings as OP. If that puts me in a minority I don't mind being part of it.

Feel how you want to feel about your own ki. But why would anyone care whether someone else's 6 year old does his homework? If OP feels she can't be friends with someone because the other mom watches tv and doesn't make her young child do homework, it is highly likely the other mom can't stand her any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And THIS ladies and gentlemen, is why parents should not be volunteering in the classroom. Get a job lady, because clearly you have too much time on your hands since you are all up in other folks business.

+ 1 million

Holy crap, OP. You have you head up your arse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So... are you bothered because now that you have volunteered to assist, you see it as a personal insult that kids don't do their homework?

Or are you a true believer that homework HAS to be done, regardless of circumstances? Such as: the inane homework is an offensive waste of time, the parents work several jobs and can't help out, the kids have other more pressing special needs, or that simply no real benefits have been found when giving homework in early elementary?

Don't take it so personally.
Homework in the early years is controversial.

I used to do it religiously with DC1 when he was that age, but now I can see that most of it was a huge waste of time - I just wanted to be in "good standing" with the teacher, who probably didn't care less. Now in 5th grade, I tell DS not to do his spelling work - it's truly the most mind-numbing series of exercise imaginable and he already knows how to spell anyway. I remember when DS was in 3rd grade, the math packet would come home riddled with errors, and I had to re-word them for him. Ridiculous. I finally bought a workbook for him instead

It bothers me that this mom seems not to care about academics. DH and I worked very hard in school and work. I currently stay home but worked for 10+ years before having kids. Mom and her child like to come over and hang out at our house. The dad seems to envy DH's sports cars in the driveway and our nice home. I can't get past why this mom won't do homework with her child. School is number one priority in our house.

That's nice. In our house, LEARNING is a priority, but we don't believe the only or best way people learn is through school. Oh, and btw, I was a model for a long time. Super well off. No college. No regrats. (j/k)

In my house, supporting yourself and being a good role model to your children by having a paid job or otherwise contributing to society is our priority. It really bothers me that you are lazing around and pretending to contribute to society by "volunteering" at the school so you can spy on other kids and pass judgment on their parents. Seriously get a life, and please be sure to tell this other mom how you feel so she doesn't waste her time with you any more.

I had a lucrative career before staying home. I have 2 boys. While talking to one of my gfs, I told her that I hoped that one day my sons marry girls who would stay home and take care of my grandchildren. I would be thrilled if my son married a cute girl from HYP who would raise smart grandchildren.

Are you a troll? You've got to be, b/c this sh!t can't be real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So... are you bothered because now that you have volunteered to assist, you see it as a personal insult that kids don't do their homework?

Or are you a true believer that homework HAS to be done, regardless of circumstances? Such as: the inane homework is an offensive waste of time, the parents work several jobs and can't help out, the kids have other more pressing special needs, or that simply no real benefits have been found when giving homework in early elementary?

Don't take it so personally.
Homework in the early years is controversial.

I used to do it religiously with DC1 when he was that age, but now I can see that most of it was a huge waste of time - I just wanted to be in "good standing" with the teacher, who probably didn't care less. Now in 5th grade, I tell DS not to do his spelling work - it's truly the most mind-numbing series of exercise imaginable and he already knows how to spell anyway. I remember when DS was in 3rd grade, the math packet would come home riddled with errors, and I had to re-word them for him. Ridiculous. I finally bought a workbook for him instead

It bothers me that this mom seems not to care about academics. DH and I worked very hard in school and work. I currently stay home but worked for 10+ years before having kids. Mom and her child like to come over and hang out at our house. The dad seems to envy DH's sports cars in the driveway and our nice home. I can't get past why this mom won't do homework with her child. School is number one priority in our house.

That's nice. In our house, LEARNING is a priority, but we don't believe the only or best way people learn is through school. Oh, and btw, I was a model for a long time. Super well off. No college. No regrats. (j/k)

In my house, supporting yourself and being a good role model to your children by having a paid job or otherwise contributing to society is our priority. It really bothers me that you are lazing around and pretending to contribute to society by "volunteering" at the school so you can spy on other kids and pass judgment on their parents. Seriously get a life, and please be sure to tell this other mom how you feel so she doesn't waste her time with you any more.

I had a lucrative career before staying home. I have 2 boys. While talking to one of my gfs, I told her that I hoped that one day my sons marry girls who would stay home and take care of my grandchildren. I would be thrilled if my son married a cute girl from HYP who would raise smart grandchildren.

Are you a troll? You've got to be, b/c this sh!t can't be real.

I'm not PP and I would never say this outloud to anyone, but I agree with PP. I wouldn't mind if she worked, but do see value in SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And THIS ladies and gentlemen, is why parents should not be volunteering in the classroom. Get a job lady, because clearly you have too much time on your hands since you are all up in other folks business.

Yup. We don't need judgy people. OP. Let it go. Not your business, and there may be things going on this family chooses (wisely) not to share with you.

Stop judging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So... are you bothered because now that you have volunteered to assist, you see it as a personal insult that kids don't do their homework?

Or are you a true believer that homework HAS to be done, regardless of circumstances? Such as: the inane homework is an offensive waste of time, the parents work several jobs and can't help out, the kids have other more pressing special needs, or that simply no real benefits have been found when giving homework in early elementary?

Don't take it so personally.
Homework in the early years is controversial.

I used to do it religiously with DC1 when he was that age, but now I can see that most of it was a huge waste of time - I just wanted to be in "good standing" with the teacher, who probably didn't care less. Now in 5th grade, I tell DS not to do his spelling work - it's truly the most mind-numbing series of exercise imaginable and he already knows how to spell anyway. I remember when DS was in 3rd grade, the math packet would come home riddled with errors, and I had to re-word them for him. Ridiculous. I finally bought a workbook for him instead.

It bothers me that this mom seems not to care about academics. DH and I worked very hard in school and work. I currently stay home but worked for 10+ years before having kids. Mom and her child like to come over and hang out at our house. The dad seems to envy DH's sports cars in the driveway and our nice home. I can't get past why this mom won't do homework with her child. School is number one priority in our house.

It bothers me that you are so judgmental. You worry about your family and what lessons you are teaching by being so judgmental.


As for the other family you really don't know what is going on and what they do or do not value. My DS is in Kindergarten and I'm definitely in the school is a priority category but I only help DS with his homework if he asks - mostly he works on it at aftercare. Instead we work every evening on skills his teachers has asked us to work on and do nightly reading. His teach told us the homework packet really is optional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So... are you bothered because now that you have volunteered to assist, you see it as a personal insult that kids don't do their homework?

Or are you a true believer that homework HAS to be done, regardless of circumstances? Such as: the inane homework is an offensive waste of time, the parents work several jobs and can't help out, the kids have other more pressing special needs, or that simply no real benefits have been found when giving homework in early elementary?

Don't take it so personally.
Homework in the early years is controversial.

I used to do it religiously with DC1 when he was that age, but now I can see that most of it was a huge waste of time - I just wanted to be in "good standing" with the teacher, who probably didn't care less. Now in 5th grade, I tell DS not to do his spelling work - it's truly the most mind-numbing series of exercise imaginable and he already knows how to spell anyway. I remember when DS was in 3rd grade, the math packet would come home riddled with errors, and I had to re-word them for him. Ridiculous. I finally bought a workbook for him instead.

It bothers me that this mom seems not to care about academics. DH and I worked very hard in school and work. I currently stay home but worked for 10+ years before having kids. Mom and her child like to come over and hang out at our house. The dad seems to envy DH's sports cars in the driveway and our nice home. I can't get past why this mom won't do homework with her child. School is number one priority in our house.

You are a jerk. What the hell does the car you drive have to do with any of this? You're a rich, classist snob. Admit it.

[Anonymous]

Op, brace yourself because I'm about to yell at you:

EARLY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL HOMEWORK HAS NO PEDAGOGICAL VALUE!!!

...which might make you rethink your moronic judgment if you weren't so obviously a troll.

Signed,

A SHAM whose kids do their own homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming for the sake of argument that there is no value in homework in the early years (although the research on that is far more mixed than people like to acknowledge), it's still crappy parenting because it sets the precedent of only doing the things you find value in, regardless of what the expectations are of you. Good luck to those parents in a couple of years when the homework does matter (either because of its recognized value, or because it counts toward a grade) and they're having battles with their kids who don't want to do homework and have had it ingrained in them that homework is optional. Hopefully you're able to work through that with them before it affects high school grades, college admissions, job prospects, etc.

Or, in my case, it was excellent parenting, because my kid was simply not developmentally ready for homework at that age, was exhausted by the time he came home from school and aftercare, and instead of letting it become a battle, I let him deal with the natural consequences of not doing his homework. It was more important to me that he like school at age six than it was that he cut little strips of paper or color a notebook cover or whatever. Kid matured, is now a straight A student in high school, very self motivated, takes demanding courses, and I haven't had to tell him to do his homework in years. He is an intellectually curious kid, reads like a fiend, and has great grit and work ethic.

Feeling like an awesome parent for not crushing my kids natural love of learning when I see how great he turned out just by giving him a little time to grow into himself.

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

[Anonymous]

PP here. iPhone autocorrected SAHM to SHAM, which frankly is hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So... are you bothered because now that you have volunteered to assist, you see it as a personal insult that kids don't do their homework?

Or are you a true believer that homework HAS to be done, regardless of circumstances? Such as: the inane homework is an offensive waste of time, the parents work several jobs and can't help out, the kids have other more pressing special needs, or that simply no real benefits have been found when giving homework in early elementary?

Don't take it so personally.
Homework in the early years is controversial.

I used to do it religiously with DC1 when he was that age, but now I can see that most of it was a huge waste of time - I just wanted to be in "good standing" with the teacher, who probably didn't care less. Now in 5th grade, I tell DS not to do his spelling work - it's truly the most mind-numbing series of exercise imaginable and he already knows how to spell anyway. I remember when DS was in 3rd grade, the math packet would come home riddled with errors, and I had to re-word them for him. Ridiculous. I finally bought a workbook for him instead.

It bothers me that this mom seems not to care about academics. DH and I worked very hard in school and work. I currently stay home but worked for 10+ years before having kids. Mom and her child like to come over and hang out at our house. The dad seems to envy DH's sports cars in the driveway and our nice home. I can't get past why this mom won't do homework with her child. School is number one priority in our house.

Oh, my poor dear OP, you sound so shallow. Are you actually equating education with money? I also prioritize education, but not for money - for love of learning, to develop critical thinking, for culture and the ability to choose one's line of work, such as cancer research (which we do), and it really doesn't pay much.

If your parenting styles are to dissimilar, the friendship will likely not survive. Find other friends with similar values, and you will be much happier!

You have much to learn.

Yes, we have very different parenting styles. The mom allows her child to watch tv and play as much video games as he wants. Does the same for older sibling. That would be unacceptable in our house. [b]I don't think I can associate with a parent who lets children do that while not doing homework with them. [/b]Mom also watches a lot of tv.

While we have nice things, material items are low priority for us.

Why are you buying nice things if they are a low priority. So wasteful. Perhaps you should give the to people who are really in need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So... are you bothered because now that you have volunteered to assist, you see it as a personal insult that kids don't do their homework?

Or are you a true believer that homework HAS to be done, regardless of circumstances? Such as: the inane homework is an offensive waste of time, the parents work several jobs and can't help out, the kids have other more pressing special needs, or that simply no real benefits have been found when giving homework in early elementary?

Don't take it so personally.
Homework in the early years is controversial.

I used to do it religiously with DC1 when he was that age, but now I can see that most of it was a huge waste of time - I just wanted to be in "good standing" with the teacher, who probably didn't care less. Now in 5th grade, I tell DS not to do his spelling work - it's truly the most mind-numbing series of exercise imaginable and he already knows how to spell anyway. I remember when DS was in 3rd grade, the math packet would come home riddled with errors, and I had to re-word them for him. Ridiculous. I finally bought a workbook for him instead.

It bothers me that this mom seems not to care about academics. DH and I worked very hard in school and work. I currently stay home but worked for 10+ years before having kids. Mom and her child like to come over and hang out at our house. The dad seems to envy DH's sports cars in the driveway and our nice home. I can't get past why this mom won't do homework with her child. School is number one priority in our house.

Oh, my poor dear OP, you sound so shallow. Are you actually equating education with money? I also prioritize education, but not for money - for love of learning, to develop critical thinking, for culture and the ability to choose one's line of work, such as cancer research (which we do), and it really doesn't pay much.

If your parenting styles are to dissimilar, the friendship will likely not survive. Find other friends with similar values, and you will be much happier!

You have much to learn.

Yes, we have very different parenting styles. The mom allows her child to watch tv and play as much video games as he wants. Does the same for older sibling. That would be unacceptable in our house. I don't think I can associate with a parent who lets children do that while not doing homework with them. Mom also watches a lot of tv.

While we have nice things, material items are low priority for us.

Obviously not, since you felt the need to brag about them.