Why do some parents choose not to do homework with their children?

[Anonymous]

I don't have my first grader do most of his homework because it is busywork that isn't at his level. He needs printing practice, practice reading aloud, and advanced math. I am not having him spend tons of time cutting out and assembling a flip book for words he can already read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were young (kinder, 1st, 2nd) I just wanted them to play their little hearts out. Unless they were behind in what they were being taught in school I saw zero point in doing homework.

As for upper elementary grades and beyond, they do it on their own. I only help if I'm asked.

OP here. My kids play plenty. We still manage to spend 15 minutes to do the homework. We go to the library, read books, go hiking, fishing, travel, visit museums, zoos, parks, Disney, etc. There is so much time. Really not difficult to do the 15 minutes of homework. Kids still manage to build pillow forts, pretend play with swords, do arts and crafts, play sports, etc. We have enough time for everything.

Not the PP, but I think PP was saying it was not a priority, not that she didn't have time. Play was the priority, and homework did not matter. As for me, I thought the homework was fine until is just started snowballing in second grade into extensive reading and math logs, homework worksheets, and requests to time my child doing things. Then I decided that public school was useless and a bunch of form over substance, so I am applying to a couple of private schools and getting away from all that noise.

OP here. I actually think the teacher doesn't give enough homework so we enrich. I try to make it fun though. My kids love math and science and they beg me to do science experiments. They love nature so I put extra effort into teaching them about plants and animals. I also love to travel so we learn on vacation. I spend most of my time thinking about how to enrich my children.

The remaining time I volunteer to help impoverished children and elderly.

Stop tooting your horn so loudly. The neighbors are trying to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were young (kinder, 1st, 2nd) I just wanted them to play their little hearts out. Unless they were behind in what they were being taught in school I saw zero point in doing homework.

As for upper elementary grades and beyond, they do it on their own. I only help if I'm asked.

OP here. My kids play plenty. We still manage to spend 15 minutes to do the homework. We go to the library, read books, go hiking, fishing, travel, visit museums, zoos, parks, Disney, etc. There is so much time. Really not difficult to do the 15 minutes of homework. Kids still manage to build pillow forts, pretend play with swords, do arts and crafts, play sports, etc. We have enough time for everything.

Not the PP, but I think PP was saying it was not a priority, not that she didn't have time. Play was the priority, and homework did not matter. As for me, I thought the homework was fine until is just started snowballing in second grade into extensive reading and math logs, homework worksheets, and requests to time my child doing things. Then I decided that public school was useless and a bunch of form over substance, so I am applying to a couple of private schools and getting away from all that noise.

OP here. I actually think the teacher doesn't give enough homework so we enrich. I try to make it fun though. My kids love math and science and they beg me to do science experiments. They love nature so I put extra effort into teaching them about plants and animals. I also love to travel so we learn on vacation. I spend most of my time thinking about how to enrich my children.

The remaining time I volunteer to help impoverished children and elderly.

OOOOOH! You're trolling us! My bad, I was taking you seriously. Have a good time now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually am a HYP grad who is currently a SAH mom for my kids (for now). In lots of ways, I have done a terrible job. Book smarts does not translate one-to-one with being a natural, intuitive mom.

You sound really rigid and judgmental and self-righteous. Be careful about the values that you are teaching your kid, because in the end you may find that you were wrong about some things you were really positive you were right about. I'd advise you to try to adjust your thinking now to allow for that possibility, before you're too late.

I'm sorry that you are not a natural, intuitive mom. Of all my accomplishments, I am most proud of my children. They are awesome kids. I felt great guilt when I was working even though we had the best nanny and preschool. I sacrificed my career and put my all into my children. They are not necessarily the smartest or the best at soccer or tennis but I love them to pieces. I am so proud and happy to be their mom. We purposely live in a diverse neighborhood. I guess I will have to accept that some parents are ok with letting their kids watch tv and play video games all day. I just feel there are so many better ways to spend your time like doing your homework!

Pssst.

Those parents who parent differently than you love their children and think they are the world, just like you.

Imagine that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It bothers me that this mom seems not to care about academics. DH and I worked very hard in school and work. I currently stay home but worked for 10+ years before having kids. Mom and her child like to come over and hang out at our house. The dad seems to envy DH's sports cars in the driveway and our nice home. I can't get past why this mom won't do homework with her child. School is number one priority in our house.

It's interesting that you think that the homework is the mother's responsibility. At first I thought that maybe the child you were gossiping about was one from a one-parent family, but no, the child is from a two-parent family. Why is it the mother's responsibility to the child's homework and care about academics, but not the father's?

[Anonymous]

I give my kids the space and time if they want to do their homework. It's up to them to do it. I will answer questions about instructions, but beyond that I don't help with homework.

I struggle with them having any homework at all (beyond reading) before 3rd grade but don't want to set the precedent of skipping out on responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

If you love your children so much you'd read some child development books that stress how important play is in early elementary. Not homework.

[Anonymous]

Is this a low are school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a low are school

Is this a low ses school

[Anonymous]

OP, you win. You're the best mommy.

[Anonymous]

"That's nice. In our house, LEARNING is a priority, but we don't believe the only or best way people learn is through school. Oh, and btw, I was a model for a long time. Super well off. No college. No regrats. (j/k) "

Irony alert!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher. Homework is rarely helpful. Aside from reading at home, most of it makes no difference whatsoever. What is assigned should be done independently by the child, though. mYOB.

+1

Another teacher. I handle logistics: carving out time, providing a quiet space and needed materials, and verifying that it is complete. I do assist with studying and will provide tech support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"That's nice. In our house, LEARNING is a priority, but we don't believe the only or best way people learn is through school. Oh, and btw, I was a model for a long time. Super well off. No college. No regrats. (j/k) "

Irony alert!

That's not irony; that's typing on a phone or some such. I blame Alanis Morissette.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Homework is stupid. Who cares.

Says the lazy mom

[Anonymous]

I am a parent who helps with homework. But understand my approach:

I regard it as an opportunity to engage academically with my child and embed more critical thinking than they get at school. I don't do it for them, nor do I give them answers. And I don't help with all assignments -- just a couple that are particularly interesting or engaging to them. I try to steer my children to finding the right answer by helping them to think about assignments from multiple angles.

For example, third grader brings home a Continental Math League sheet. This is actually optional assignment, but the problems are fun. They're multi-step. I emphasize trying to figure out what the question is REALLY asking rather than simply helping them figure out the answer. We turn it into kind of a game -- a mystery to be solved.

For a writing prompt, I might ask probing questions to help expand their thinking instead of hovering over while they type to fix their spelling and grammar.

So, for all those people who think homework is worthless -- I disagree. We treat it as an opportunity for a healthy exploration of knowledge between parent and kid. Again, I don't do this all the time -- probably 80% of the time they do their own work, and by middle school it was closer to 100% of the time. But, where there are opportunities, I am fully engaged. And, btw, it helps instill a good work ethic for completing assignments on their own.