When people say they are not SAHM material

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how people say they would be bored by spending time with their own children.

Think about it for longer than it takes to hit "reply" and send some scathing comment back.

They are developing and learning and growing at a rapid fire pace, they are full of wonder and joy, they are not bitter or jaded, and they are your offspring. They are little miracles, each and every one.

But post after post claims they find all that boring.

Different people find different things interesting. I don't find it interesting to watch a kid having wonder and joy all day. Clearly you think I should, but I don't. It's best they spend the bulk of the day with someone who will appreciate that, so they have a great nanny.

Wow. That is awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how people say they would be bored by spending time with their own children.

Think about it for longer than it takes to hit "reply" and send some scathing comment back.

They are developing and learning and growing at a rapid fire pace, they are full of wonder and joy, they are not bitter or jaded, and they are your offspring. They are little miracles, each and every one.

But post after post claims they find all that boring.

You're conflating never finding wonder/enjoyment with your kids with not being able to do it day-in and day-out, 8-10 hours (or more) a day all by yourself. I love spending time with my DD, but I'm bored to tears after about 4 hours of having her hand me a tea cup over and over again or ask the same question over and over again or whatever. I also like watching movies, but I would get bored if that's the only thing I did all day. I understand that being a SAHM doesn't preclude doing multiple things in a day, but during the infant and toddler years I feel like the majority of those other things involve housework or kid-related trips (e.g. zoo)...and housework for me is boring and so is going to the zoo every week.

I'm glad you find so much joy spending your entire day with your kid...pelase don't tell me I'm a worse person for not feeling the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I say that, what I mean is that I know my limits. I don't believe I would be a good SAHM. I don't have the patience to deal with my toddler all day, every day for extended periods, I just don't. I would end up snapping and yelling at him and then feeling horribly guilty. I feel like I am a MUCH better mother when I am with him, because of the time I spend away from him (8am-6pm, Monday to Friday).

This is really sad.
Instead of running away from him, why don't you learn how to interact with him? And I mean that sincerely. You are missing out on so much. I'm sure you would get as much out of the effort as he would.

Why don't you learn how to read? You are as stupid as OP. None of these working moms NEVER see their kids, never "interact" with them. They just don't take care of them all day, every day. She is "missing" some hours with her kid, but she still spends time with him every day. You think it only counts if its ALL day EVERY day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how people say they would be bored by spending time with their own children.

Think about it for longer than it takes to hit "reply" and send some scathing comment back.

They are developing and learning and growing at a rapid fire pace, they are full of wonder and joy, they are not bitter or jaded, and they are your offspring. They are little miracles, each and every one.

But post after post claims they find all that boring.

Different people find different things interesting. I don't find it interesting to watch a kid having wonder and joy all day. Clearly you think I should, but I don't. It's best they spend the bulk of the day with someone who will appreciate that, so they have a great nanny.

Wow. That is awful.

No, its not. Many adult women are capable of being interested in lots of things, only one of which is spending time with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how people say they would be bored by spending time with their own children.

Think about it for longer than it takes to hit "reply" and send some scathing comment back.

They are developing and learning and growing at a rapid fire pace, they are full of wonder and joy, they are not bitter or jaded, and they are your offspring. They are little miracles, each and every one.

But post after post claims they find all that boring.

Why do you need to understand it? Don't worry about it. People like different things, the end. I presume you're an adult so this should be common sense.

[Anonymous]

The answer to your question is very simple. Every parent and every family circumstance is different. Not everyone wants to be a SAHP and not everyone thinks being a SAHP is what works best for them or their family. It's not that hard to understand that people have different goals, preferences, abilities, etc., is it? There's no point in people on DCUM guessing at why this particular person said she is not SAHM material since we don't know her or her family. But it's certainly not hard to imagine why some people would feel that way.

-SAHM who absolutely loves it but also absolutely understands why not everyone would love it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer to your question is very simple. Every parent and every family circumstance is different. Not everyone wants to be a SAHP and not everyone thinks being a SAHP is what works best for them or their family. It's not that hard to understand that people have different goals, preferences, abilities, etc., is it? There's no point in people on DCUM guessing at why this particular person said she is not SAHM material since we don't know her or her family. But it's certainly not hard to imagine why some people would feel that way.

-SAHM who absolutely loves it but also absolutely understands why not everyone would love it

Thanks to the SAHMs who "get it"!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how people say they would be bored by spending time with their own children.

Think about it for longer than it takes to hit "reply" and send some scathing comment back.

They are developing and learning and growing at a rapid fire pace, they are full of wonder and joy, they are not bitter or jaded, and they are your offspring. They are little miracles, each and every one.

But post after post claims they find all that boring.

Why do you need to understand it? Don't worry about it. People like different things, the end. I presume you're an adult so this should be common sense.

But one of those "different things" is your own child. We are not talking about knitting versus kickboxing. It's a shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how people say they would be bored by spending time with their own children.

Think about it for longer than it takes to hit "reply" and send some scathing comment back.

They are developing and learning and growing at a rapid fire pace, they are full of wonder and joy, they are not bitter or jaded, and they are your offspring. They are little miracles, each and every one.

But post after post claims they find all that boring.

Surely you realize that there are lots of things in the world that other people find fascinating that would bore you?

Lots of things? It's your own child. Not a craft, mountain biking, or pottery. Man, you guys are harsh. These are your own children that are the source of such boredom and apathy!!!

[Anonymous]

Geez, I wonder when we will all find ways to support eachother, whether we stay at home or work outside of the home. The thread is appalling and a distraction from the greater societal problems of institutional sexism, lack of family friendly policies, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, I wonder when we will all find ways to support eachother, whether we stay at home or work outside of the home. The thread is appalling and a distraction from the greater societal problems of institutional sexism, lack of family friendly policies, etc.

Disagree--there are clearly some posters on this thread who feel pretty strongly that women should be home with their kids, and therefore are PART of the problem of sexism and why we don't have family friendly policies. Which is why the rest of us need to keep fighting, including both WOHMs and SAHMs who should all have choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how people say they would be bored by spending time with their own children.

Think about it for longer than it takes to hit "reply" and send some scathing comment back.

They are developing and learning and growing at a rapid fire pace, they are full of wonder and joy, they are not bitter or jaded, and they are your offspring. They are little miracles, each and every one.

But post after post claims they find all that boring.

Very few people say that. They say they would be bored if all they did was hang out with their kids and do kid-related things.

I don't understand why you have such crappy reading comprehension, so I guess we're even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do they really mean by that?

It always makes me scratch my head because don't you parent your kids on the weekends? It's like that but every day. And they go to school for a good chunk of it (including the preschool years)...

They mean "You're being rude by raising the question and I'm trying to deflect you politely in a way that you can't take as an insult."

OP here. I didn't ask this question, it was information that was volunteered. "I wish I could quit my job but I couldn't take it as a SAHM." Just curious about why she thinks it is so hard.

I'll bite. Being a SAHM mom wouldn't be hard for me, but it would be mind numbingly boring.

This. Except I find it very hard to be bored out of my effing mind all day, every day. I work and pick my kids up at 3 and have them the weekend; that is about the amount of time I fill with kid activities happily. I don't want to do it more than that. My job is not big and fancy and important, either - no delusions of stardom here.

Actually these are just up to page 2 and they say it is not just boring, but mind numbingly boring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez, I wonder when we will all find ways to support eachother, whether we stay at home or work outside of the home. The thread is appalling and a distraction from the greater societal problems of institutional sexism, lack of family friendly policies, etc.

Disagree--there are clearly some posters on this thread who feel pretty strongly that women should be home with their kids, and therefore are PART of the problem of sexism and why we don't have family friendly policies. Which is why the rest of us need to keep fighting, including both WOHMs and SAHMs who should all have choices.

Nope, not at all.
Just that "oh my god, it is so boring, so mind numbing my boring to be with my kids" is not at all related to sexism, social policy, family friendly policies because you are so above spending time with your boring offspring.
Let's save that for people that WANT to be home with their children, who WANT to watch them grow and help them develop, and don't find them so painfully beneath them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez, I wonder when we will all find ways to support eachother, whether we stay at home or work outside of the home. The thread is appalling and a distraction from the greater societal problems of institutional sexism, lack of family friendly policies, etc.

Disagree--there are clearly some posters on this thread who feel pretty strongly that women should be home with their kids, and therefore are PART of the problem of sexism and why we don't have family friendly policies. Which is why the rest of us need to keep fighting, including both WOHMs and SAHMs who should all have choices.

But if it's so awful and dull to be with your children, why the need for any of this? It would result in spending more time being bored. Can't have it both ways. Either you want to get away or you want your policies so you don't have to. This thread clearly shows those policies are not wanted or needed, it would only result in, as one poster said, "pulling my hair out in boredom".