When people say they are not SAHM material

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how people say they would be bored by spending time with their own children.

Think about it for longer than it takes to hit "reply" and send some scathing comment back.

They are developing and learning and growing at a rapid fire pace, they are full of wonder and joy, they are not bitter or jaded, and they are your offspring. They are little miracles, each and every one.

But post after post claims they find all that boring.

NP here. I'm not interested in stuffed animals, train sets, and singing nursery rhymes. Why would I be?

Are those things you need to do to play with your kids? Nope. Your kids just want to interact with you - they don't care much about how. Play your favorite rock music. Go for a walk. Tell them about your day.

what kind of crazy person thinks her kids would rather talk about mommy's day then play with trains and toys? lady, you are way too invested in being the center of your kids lives.

I'm pretty sure when you mostly ignore your kids they will take any attention you throw their way.

Ha - so true. I think there are two polar opposite types of people on this thread. Those who actually enjoy the kids they decided to have, and those who really can't be bothered and should probably just said "no thanks" before committing to having children. I mean really - why the hell do you have kids if you're not even interested in them?

I'm sorry--is the implication that if you don't stay home, you're not interested in your kids?

I just can't believe people think that--but maybe they do.

Nope. But it's definitely a fact that some people, regardless of work status, can't bear to be around their children. Just read this thread.

[Anonymous]

I'm not SAHM material because I have a history of depression and anxiety, particularly around financial issues and job security. I also don't think it would be helpful for my marriage. So, while I would love to stay at home wiht my kids in theory (and have loved every minute of maternity leave with both kids), I need to stay in the work force for my own mental health.

My kids learn a lot at daycare and have activities there that I probably wouldn't do as much at home (finger painting, lots of messy art projects, etc). It's the best solution for our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will bite even though I am sure this thread will become a drama thread shortly.

I'm currently a SAHM of 4yo and 6yo boys. I worked until a few months ago. I used to say that I was not SAHM material. I am a lousy cook and I hate housework. I loved my children but I did not especially like changing diapers, washing bottles and cleaning up goldfish off the floor every minute of the day. I am also ivy league educated and had a successful career. I was good at my job and made a nice six figure income.

I still don't think I am necessarily SAHM material because I still hate housework and can't cook. We still outsource that. I do love spending time with my boys. If I have both boys together for long periods of time, they often start fighting and it gets unpleasant fast. I try to schedule my time so that I have quality time with both kids. My marriage has also improved significantly since I started staying home. I have lunch dates with DH, don't get mad at him for being unable to attend the school Thanksgiving lunch or never taking a snow day. I feel really close to my children. When I was working, I was always stressed out. I always had work on my mind because there was something I left to do so that I could rush home for dinner or soccer or whatever X school event.

ITA. Our lives have improved significantly since I started staying home. Now I actually look forward to getting up in the morning rather than dreading the forced march life used to be for all of us.

[Anonymous]

I think anyone who asks this question is just seeking validation for their own choices by judging others.

I have a lot of respect for anyone who knows themselves well enough to say they wouldn't be good at a particular job. Because SAH is work and if that's the job that brings the most value to your life, who gives a shit what anyone else has to say about it.

I've done both and can honestly say that WOH is best for me and my family. There's no value in even caring what anyone else thinks about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why some of you are so upset about people admitting that taking care of a small child all day every day can be boring sometimes. I love being home with my daughter and playing with her...there's plenty of "wonder and joy" moments, but there's also tantrums and tedium. Saying that doesn't make me a bad mom, or someone who shouldn't have had kids, or doesn't like kids. I think it does a disservice to parents when you act like at-home parenting only involves happy, pleasant things and try to shout down anyone who disagrees with that. We're all adults here, let's act like it.

That's fine and all but that's not how the posters who everyone is objecting to said it. That aside, it was only a few people who said it straight out that their kid bores them. Of course you're going to find a few people in every group who don't enjoy parenting. Typically they're quiet about it because it's still very taboo to say but this is an anonymous cite so you get more honest answers.

Work, don't work, just don't complain about it to me. I don't care what you do but I can't STAND people who can't shut up about it. No one cares about your petty complaints that much.

I don't think anyone said that. Some people said being home all day with kids would be boring, and then someone replied with the accusation that these women are "bored by their own offspring." This happens all the time on DCUM, someone accuses someone else of having some extreme position that no one ever actually said, then people act like it was an actual claim someone made about themself.

Seriously?
Starting on page 2, 8:27 and then at the bottom of the page. Then it went on from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why some of you are so upset about people admitting that taking care of a small child all day every day can be boring sometimes. I love being home with my daughter and playing with her...there's plenty of "wonder and joy" moments, but there's also tantrums and tedium. Saying that doesn't make me a bad mom, or someone who shouldn't have had kids, or doesn't like kids. I think it does a disservice to parents when you act like at-home parenting only involves happy, pleasant things and try to shout down anyone who disagrees with that. We're all adults here, let's act like it.

That's fine and all but that's not how the posters who everyone is objecting to said it. That aside, it was only a few people who said it straight out that their kid bores them. Of course you're going to find a few people in every group who don't enjoy parenting. Typically they're quiet about it because it's still very taboo to say but this is an anonymous cite so you get more honest answers.

Work, don't work, just don't complain about it to me. I don't care what you do but I can't STAND people who can't shut up about it. No one cares about your petty complaints that much.

I don't think anyone said that. Some people said being home all day with kids would be boring, and then someone replied with the accusation that these women are "bored by their own offspring." This happens all the time on DCUM, someone accuses someone else of having some extreme position that no one ever actually said, then people act like it was an actual claim someone made about themself.

Seriously?
Starting on page 2, 8:27 and then at the bottom of the page. Then it went on from there.

Yes, 8:27 said "I'll bite. Being a SAHM mom wouldn't be hard for me, but it would be mind numbingly boring." That doesn't mean she is an unfit parent, doesn't care for her kids, never plays with them, and is content to miss out on their development.

[Anonymous]

If I spent 24/7 at home with my 3yo boy twins, I would lose my everloving mind! I need to work to keep myself sane. They are total irrational little monkeys. I descend into a pit of impatience, craziness and stupidity when I'm with them for more than 3 days straight. Plus, being at home is at least 50% cleaning, cooking and chores- that I'm not being paid for. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe people continue to feed the trolls. OP is a disgruntled SAHM who clearly has too much time on her hands. She's undermining WOHMs in a pathetic bid to validate herself. Shouldn't you be interacting with your children, watching them grow inch by inch?

But yet she has no response when confronted with the fact that her accusations apply to her husband. Does the fact that he works outside of the home mean he hates his children? Didn't think so. Also, how do you know what family dynamic all the WOHMs have? How do you know their husband isn't the SAHP?

Women that enjoy trashing each other are disgusting and haven't grown up one bit since high school. Empty vessels make the loudest noise as they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people continue to feed the trolls. OP is a disgruntled SAHM who clearly has too much time on her hands. She's undermining WOHMs in a pathetic bid to validate herself. Shouldn't you be interacting with your children, watching them grow inch by inch?

But yet she has no response when confronted with the fact that her accusations apply to her husband. Does the fact that he works outside of the home mean he hates his children? Didn't think so. Also, how do you know what family dynamic all the WOHMs have? How do you know their husband isn't the SAHP?

Women that enjoy trashing each other are disgusting and haven't grown up one bit since high school. Empty vessels make the loudest noise as they say.

+100

[Anonymous]

I haven't read everything, but let's not forget that SAHMs have the entire summer to take care of the kids (unless they put them in summer school) so that's a big chunk of time working parents don't see their kids. I've WOH and SAH and I can say that both suck in ways. When I worked part time, my kid was sick all the time. I was either working or taking care of a sick kid. When I started SAH, my kid got healthy. I prefer healthy kids. Also, unless you have maids and buy prepared food, you get better at cleaning and cooking over time. I think WOHMs think they'd be bored because if you work full time, you don't have a whole lot of time for hobbies. I also had health problems from my job and couldn't engage in hobbies I can do now that I quit. I think everyone has strengths and weaknesses and it just depends whether working or staying home seems easier. Also alot of WOHMs rationalize that they'd be bored or whatever to make themselves think they're not missing out on anything, but if you SAH you have the free time to come up with things to not be bored.

[Anonymous]

What a weird OP. Its like asking why somebody does not like a certain dish or a certain movie. Everybody is different. I had children to complement my life, not become my life. I was a sahm for teh first year of my first child and i found myself isolated and lonely and I kept thinking that i did not grt 2 masters degree to spend all day not using it. I was never bored, but i was not satisfied. It was not enough for me. I think the beauty of some very family friendly jobs is that you do get to do both. I am away from 8-515. I have about 2 hours in the am and about 2 in the afternoon wi my child. I am really really happy. i find working very fulfilling and satisfying and frankly would probably get depressed at home if i did it fulltime. What i guess i dont undrstand is what do sahm do when the kids are in school? I manage to cook, exercise and keep house working fulltime so....what do you do in that time?

[Anonymous]

99% of the women posting here and living in the DMV aren't wife material either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read everything, but let's not forget that SAHMs have the entire summer to take care of the kids (unless they put them in summer school) so that's a big chunk of time working parents don't see their kids. I've WOH and SAH and I can say that both suck in ways. When I worked part time, my kid was sick all the time. I was either working or taking care of a sick kid. When I started SAH, my kid got healthy. I prefer healthy kids. Also, unless you have maids and buy prepared food, you get better at cleaning and cooking over time. I think WOHMs think they'd be bored because if you work full time, you don't have a whole lot of time for hobbies. I also had health problems from my job and couldn't engage in hobbies I can do now that I quit. I think everyone has strengths and weaknesses and it just depends whether working or staying home seems easier. Also alot of WOHMs rationalize that they'd be bored or whatever to make themselves think they're not missing out on anything, but if you SAH you have the free time to come up with things to not be bored.

Whatever.

Lots of kids to camp over the summer--even if mom is at home.

Lots of kids do swim team, allowing mom to be a pool mom--gabbing with the other pool moms and working on her tan.

Most kids are outside playing with friends or at their houses.

Lots of working parents take off in the summer. I take off three weeks, and DH takes off four.

Nonetheless, is there a competition on how much time you spend with your kids?

You have a point about hobbies. As a working mom, my hobby is my pro bono work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:99% of the women posting here and living in the DMV aren't wife material either.

I'll just pretend for a second that you're not the MRA troll who is constantly posting nonsense like this, and ask: how so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read everything, but let's not forget that SAHMs have the entire summer to take care of the kids (unless they put them in summer school) so that's a big chunk of time working parents don't see their kids. I've WOH and SAH and I can say that both suck in ways. When I worked part time, my kid was sick all the time. I was either working or taking care of a sick kid. When I started SAH, my kid got healthy. I prefer healthy kids. Also, unless you have maids and buy prepared food, you get better at cleaning and cooking over time. I think WOHMs think they'd be bored because if you work full time, you don't have a whole lot of time for hobbies. I also had health problems from my job and couldn't engage in hobbies I can do now that I quit. I think everyone has strengths and weaknesses and it just depends whether working or staying home seems easier. Also alot of WOHMs rationalize that they'd be bored or whatever to make themselves think they're not missing out on anything, but if you SAH you have the free time to come up with things to not be bored.

The vast, vast majority of school-age kids do something in the summer during school hours whether it is camp or another activity. Give me a break.