10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my house the decision would be her body, her choice. But I would recommend Nair or waxing.

In mine too, but only after I was sure she understood the societal dynamics that makes shaving a desirable behavior for women, and after I was sure she didn't prefer me to deal with the people who should put a stop to the teasing and the persona comments from her peers.

Also, the shaving would happen in a way that's consistent with our family values - frugally, cruelty-free products only, at home, not at a salon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my house the decision would be her body, her choice. But I would recommend Nair or waxing.

In mine too, but only after I was sure she understood the societal dynamics that makes shaving a desirable behavior for women, and after I was sure she didn't prefer me to deal with the people who should put a stop to the teasing and the persona comments from her peers.

Also, the shaving would happen in a way that's consistent with our family values - frugally, cruelty-free products only, at home, not at a salon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my daughter is 13 and still doesn't shave. Most of her friends don't either. Why does a 10yr old care? I find that sad. She is just a kid.

I am the mother of a daughter that is pale and has dark hair. My guess is that your little girl doesn't have to endure the relentless teasing of kids because of this issue. If she did, you might be a little more open minded about it.
She is just a kid, but body hair comes in differently on different people. The reason a 10 year old cares is because the teasing can be brutal and if it can help her project a positive body image for herself, why should you find it sad?

+1 you tell 'em

Sorry but having a positive body image doesn't come with make-up, shaving, nose jobs, botox etc.... If you are teaching that, you are the problem.

Shaving your legs is a grooming issue, so it's different from makeup. It's obviously very different than a nose job or botox.

Shaving your legs is NOT a grooming issue. It is a vanity issue. Most woman in the world do not shave their legs and there is absolutely no reason to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my daughter is 13 and still doesn't shave. Most of her friends don't either. Why does a 10yr old care? I find that sad. She is just a kid.

I am the mother of a daughter that is pale and has dark hair. My guess is that your little girl doesn't have to endure the relentless teasing of kids because of this issue. If she did, you might be a little more open minded about it.
She is just a kid, but body hair comes in differently on different people. The reason a 10 year old cares is because the teasing can be brutal and if it can help her project a positive body image for herself, why should you find it sad?

+1 you tell 'em

Sorry but having a positive body image doesn't come with make-up, shaving, nose jobs, botox etc.... If you are teaching that, you are the problem.

Shaving your legs is a grooming issue, so it's different from makeup. It's obviously very different than a nose job or botox.

Shaving your legs is NOT a grooming issue. It is a vanity issue. Most woman in the world do not shave their legs and there is absolutely no reason to.

+1 Since when is shaving a grooming issue? What happens to women who don't shave. Do they smell?

[Anonymous]

Please let her shave. My cousin was 11 and ashamed of her hairy legs. My aunt wouldn't let her shave. She was a big boned girl and the name "Sasquatch Staci" followed her through high school. Actually I see it hit her social media sometimes too, from old "friends". It messed her all up self esteem wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my daughter is 13 and still doesn't shave. Most of her friends don't either. Why does a 10yr old care? I find that sad. She is just a kid.

I am the mother of a daughter that is pale and has dark hair. My guess is that your little girl doesn't have to endure the relentless teasing of kids because of this issue. If she did, you might be a little more open minded about it.
She is just a kid, but body hair comes in differently on different people. The reason a 10 year old cares is because the teasing can be brutal and if it can help her project a positive body image for herself, why should you find it sad?

+1 you tell 'em

Sorry but having a positive body image doesn't come with make-up, shaving, nose jobs, botox etc.... If you are teaching that, you are the problem.

Shaving your legs is a grooming issue, so it's different from makeup. It's obviously very different than a nose job or botox.

Shaving your legs is NOT a grooming issue. It is a vanity issue. Most woman in the world do not shave their legs and there is absolutely no reason to.

+1 Since when is shaving a grooming issue? What happens to women who don't shave. Do they smell?

I haven't shaved my legs in perhaps 35 years. No, there isn't any reason to do it besides culture etc. THAT SAID. There's no reason a ten year old has to stand out and get laughed at over something as unimportant as leg hair. Let the poor girl be and let her shave.

[Anonymous]

My DD used hair during middl school. Starting shaving legs in 8th grade

[Anonymous]

Nair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my daughter is 13 and still doesn't shave. Most of her friends don't either. Why does a 10yr old care? I find that sad. She is just a kid.

I am the mother of a daughter that is pale and has dark hair. My guess is that your little girl doesn't have to endure the relentless teasing of kids because of this issue. If she did, you might be a little more open minded about it.
She is just a kid, but body hair comes in differently on different people. The reason a 10 year old cares is because the teasing can be brutal and if it can help her project a positive body image for herself, why should you find it sad?

+1 you tell 'em

Sorry but having a positive body image doesn't come with make-up, shaving, nose jobs, botox etc.... If you are teaching that, you are the problem.

Shaving your legs is a grooming issue, so it's different from makeup. It's obviously very different than a nose job or botox.

Shaving your legs is NOT a grooming issue. It is a vanity issue. Most woman in the world do not shave their legs and there is absolutely no reason to.

This. I'm in the "her body, her choice" (with adequate background explanations) camp, but it is a vanity issue. I don't shave. I have good hygiene. The two are separate issues.

[Anonymous]

Hygiene and grooming are two different things. I'd say this is a grooming issue on which people have divided views on whether grooming is expected or a matter of vanity. The answer is obviously informed by social, culturally, and personal values.

In some cultures it is crystal clear that removing leg hair is an essential grooming issue. In others, it would seem crazy. I'd say in the US far more people than not believe shaving is a basic of grooming. others think it is not, with some of the latter saying it's vanity. There isn't a right answer here, but clearly no one who thinks about this for more than a few minutes would come away with the view that it is a hygiene issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hygiene and grooming are two different things. I'd say this is a grooming issue on which people have divided views on whether grooming is expected or a matter of vanity. The answer is obviously informed by social, culturally, and personal values.

In some cultures it is crystal clear that removing leg hair is an essential grooming issue. In others, it would seem crazy. I'd say in the US far more people than not believe shaving is a basic of grooming. others think it is not, with some of the latter saying it's vanity. There isn't a right answer here, but clearly no one who thinks about this for more than a few minutes would come away with the view that it is a hygiene issue.

I agree and it is 100% vanity for 10yr olds. What if everyone makes fun of her nose, or her freckles, etc... You have to like yourself. If you teach your kids to change themselves every time someone says something, they will never be happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hygiene and grooming are two different things. I'd say this is a grooming issue on which people have divided views on whether grooming is expected or a matter of vanity. The answer is obviously informed by social, culturally, and personal values.

In some cultures it is crystal clear that removing leg hair is an essential grooming issue. In others, it would seem crazy. I'd say in the US far more people than not believe shaving is a basic of grooming. others think it is not, with some of the latter saying it's vanity. There isn't a right answer here, but clearly no one who thinks about this for more than a few minutes would come away with the view that it is a hygiene issue.

I agree and it is 100% vanity for 10yr olds. What if everyone makes fun of her nose, or her freckles, etc... You have to like yourself. If you teach your kids to change themselves every time someone says something, they will never be happy.

I don't understand responses like this. If she were 16 would you allow dd to shave? Do you shave? You're still changing your body to conform to societal standards, even though you're older. What's the lesson to be learned from being bullied for years until she reaches an arbitrary age, if you're planning on letting her do it eventually anyway?

It's not like driving, dating, drinking, enlisting in the military, etc, in which case being older allows for safer or wiser choices. I just don't understand making them wait. If a parent didn't believe in shaving for some moral or religious reasons, I'd get that more (not really understand, but I think I'd get that more than an arbitrary and inflexible age limit).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hygiene and grooming are two different things. I'd say this is a grooming issue on which people have divided views on whether grooming is expected or a matter of vanity. The answer is obviously informed by social, culturally, and personal values.

In some cultures it is crystal clear that removing leg hair is an essential grooming issue. In others, it would seem crazy. I'd say in the US far more people than not believe shaving is a basic of grooming. others think it is not, with some of the latter saying it's vanity. There isn't a right answer here, but clearly no one who thinks about this for more than a few minutes would come away with the view that it is a hygiene issue.

I agree and it is 100% vanity for 10yr olds. What if everyone makes fun of her nose, or her freckles, etc... You have to like yourself. If you teach your kids to change themselves every time someone says something, they will never be happy.

I don't understand responses like this. If she were 16 would you allow dd to shave? Do you shave? You're still changing your body to conform to societal standards, even though you're older. What's the lesson to be learned from being bullied for years until she reaches an arbitrary age, if you're planning on letting her do it eventually anyway?

It's not like driving, dating, drinking, enlisting in the military, etc, in which case being older allows for safer or wiser choices. I just don't understand making them wait. If a parent didn't believe in shaving for some moral or religious reasons, I'd get that more (not really understand, but I think I'd get that more than an arbitrary and inflexible age limit).

So do you let your 10yr old wear make-up because it makes her feel better? Kids think she is ugly and it makes her feel better. Would you let her? There is no difference. 10yr old is a CHILD. There is no reason a child should be doing anything but shampoo and soap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my daughter is 13 and still doesn't shave. Most of her friends don't either. Why does a 10yr old care? I find that sad. She is just a kid.

I am the mother of a daughter that is pale and has dark hair. My guess is that your little girl doesn't have to endure the relentless teasing of kids because of this issue. If she did, you might be a little more open minded about it.
She is just a kid, but body hair comes in differently on different people. The reason a 10 year old cares is because the teasing can be brutal and if it can help her project a positive body image for herself, why should you find it sad?

+1 you tell 'em

Sorry but having a positive body image doesn't come with make-up, shaving, nose jobs, botox etc.... If you are teaching that, you are the problem.

Shaving your legs is a grooming issue, so it's different from makeup. It's obviously very different than a nose job or botox.

Shaving your legs is NOT a grooming issue. It is a vanity issue. Most woman in the world do not shave their legs and there is absolutely no reason to.

+1 Since when is shaving a grooming issue? What happens to women who don't shave. Do they smell?

You're confusing grooming with hygiene. I didn't say it's a hygiene issue. To me it's a grooming issue, but I realize some women don't see it that way. Makeup, plastic surgery and botox aren't grooming issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hygiene and grooming are two different things. I'd say this is a grooming issue on which people have divided views on whether grooming is expected or a matter of vanity. The answer is obviously informed by social, culturally, and personal values.

In some cultures it is crystal clear that removing leg hair is an essential grooming issue. In others, it would seem crazy. I'd say in the US far more people than not believe shaving is a basic of grooming. others think it is not, with some of the latter saying it's vanity. There isn't a right answer here, but clearly no one who thinks about this for more than a few minutes would come away with the view that it is a hygiene issue.

I agree and it is 100% vanity for 10yr olds. What if everyone makes fun of her nose, or her freckles, etc... You have to like yourself. If you teach your kids to change themselves every time someone says something, they will never be happy.

As a mother who was once a ten yr. old girl with dark, hairy legs, all I can say is it's appalling that some of you seem to not have any empathy for your own daughters. This isn't an issue of getting a nose job, for crying out loud. It's a simple matter of shaving the hair on her legs. I will be forever grateful to my own mom for seeing my distress at being teased and helping me shave my legs, rather than making me "stick it out for my own good". I would never do that to my child, if there was something as easily fixable as shaving legs. Good grief.