Women: are you jealous of your friends who married rich men?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Didn't read the thread. Happy financially independent Mom here. My path, my choice. No judgement.

I spent the better part of my 20's figuring out my path. I left a great love sole provider in order to forge my own path.

Not jealous of women who chose a different path. We're all different.

[Anonymous]

No, this is a troll thread.

Look beyond the surface and you'll find that everybody has their troubles. Jealousy/envy/whatever is a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I get envious sometimes-money buys a lot of freedom and I wish we could have afforded for me to be a SAHM for a few years (I earn more than my DH and we both have student loans, etc-being a SAHM for any length of time was not an option).

On the other hand, I like earning money and if I married someone wealthy I'd worry about how I would support myself if the marriage imploded. Also, I love my DH-if I could be wealthy with him that would be great but I wouldn't want to marry someone wealthy that I don't love (or don't love as much).

[Anonymous]

If she was happy in the other aspects of her marriage besides the money, then honestly...I would.

It's tough struggling to raise kids as a single mother and I would be envious of someone who didn't even have the word "struggle" in her vocabulary.

[Anonymous]

I don't envy those who are married to wealth. I envy those who are wealthy. Being a rich man's wife is a status that can easily change according to the man's mood. The man is the one who is rich and he is the only one who is secure in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

If it was you plan to SAH it's likely you did filter for providers so you are being disingenuous.

And why not hide posts from her; I know defriending family can be tricky but what she never sees won't bother her.

I met my husband and fell for him while on a mission trip to central america. No I wasn't filtering men to suit my needs. If we lived in a tiny house with one car and I had to coupon and scrimp and save I would still be a sahm (thats just how I feel for my life everyone is different) I don't hide from her because 20 years on, if she doesn't like my life it is on her to not look at it. Like I said, it used to bother me now not so much.

It's easy to say you would have been a SAHM, no matter the circumstances, from your perch. If your DH had to work 16 hours a day at a dangerous job with a long commute would you still be a SAHM, or would you set aside your desires and do what was best for your family? I prefer to work, but if it turns out at some point that for me to be a SAHM is what works best for my family, that's what I'll do. I suspect your "SAHM no matter what" triggers some obnoxious reactions, though I do think your friend is completely out of line.

You do realize there are low income sahms right? Some people just want to be primary caregiver to their children.

Yes, my parents were poor and my mom was a SAHM. But anyone who would let their husbands work dangerously long hours and never see their children, simply due to personal preference, is not a very good mother. Any decent parent takes into account the good of the family, not just what she wants.

Did the pp say she did or would do that? No, you just want to hate on her so you are making shit up and projecting your own issues on her. I hate when dcum does this.

"No matter the circumstances." It's easy for a rich woman to say that; she insisted that she would have found a way to make it work even if her DH were poor. So yeah, I think she did say she would do that.

What possible issues of mine could I possibly have been projecting on her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

If it was you plan to SAH it's likely you did filter for providers so you are being disingenuous.

And why not hide posts from her; I know defriending family can be tricky but what she never sees won't bother her.

I met my husband and fell for him while on a mission trip to central america. No I wasn't filtering men to suit my needs. If we lived in a tiny house with one car and I had to coupon and scrimp and save I would still be a sahm (thats just how I feel for my life everyone is different) I don't hide from her because 20 years on, if she doesn't like my life it is on her to not look at it. Like I said, it used to bother me now not so much.

It's easy to say you would have been a SAHM, no matter the circumstances, from your perch. If your DH had to work 16 hours a day at a dangerous job with a long commute would you still be a SAHM, or would you set aside your desires and do what was best for your family? I prefer to work, but if it turns out at some point that for me to be a SAHM is what works best for my family, that's what I'll do. I suspect your "SAHM no matter what" triggers some obnoxious reactions, though I do think your friend is completely out of line.

You do realize there are low income sahms right? Some people just want to be primary caregiver to their children.

Yes, my parents were poor and my mom was a SAHM. But anyone who would let their husbands work dangerously long hours and never see their children, simply due to personal preference, is not a very good mother. Any decent parent takes into account the good of the family, not just what she wants.

Did the pp say she did or would do that? No, you just want to hate on her so you are making shit up and projecting your own issues on her. I hate when dcum does this.

"No matter the circumstances." It's easy for a rich woman to say that; she insisted that she would have found a way to make it work even if her DH were poor. So yeah, I think she did say she would do that.

What possible issues of mine could I possibly have been projecting on her?

Or, more likely, she didn't really mean "no matter the circumstances." For her to say that when she doesn't really mean that is probably offensive to her less wealthy friends. Like, "if you just tried hard enough you could be a SAHM too."

[Anonymous]

I don't have any friends married to rich men, so there's nothing to be jealous of.

I do have a friend who was married to someone who stood to be very wealthy one day (his step-father was and had no kids of his own and had set up a trust for him). She got a house for a wedding present. But it was not a happy relationship and they divorced after about 5 years. She is so much happier now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but I am insanely jealous of my friends that have loads of family money. Most of them hide it well and are very low key about it. That just makes me even more jealous. They are loaded without having to work for it, and they are classy. Yup, I'm jealous of those friends.

This is infinitely preferable to being dependent on a husband for $$.

[Anonymous]

I'm jealous. I have a friend who told me how when she worked PT after her first child was born she was struggling because she was either behind at home or behind at work, so she quit working. I am also constantly behind at one or the other or both, but I don't have the option to stay at home.

[Anonymous]

Rich or poor. Never know how things will turn out. Best to have what you need. Save some money in case of emergency.

[Anonymous]

Yes, a bit. I’m now divorced from a man that did okay. I made more. It would have been nice if he had been a bit higher paid. But, that is water under the bridge now. A few years out from the divorce, and lots of debt later, I'm dating a man who makes the same $$ that I do. I’m happy just to be there. Love is by far the most important thing. But getting out from this crushing debt will be nice too.

[Anonymous]

No. Unfortunately a lot of them (mainly my private girls’ high school friends) are in gilded cages married to older men. My friend from college who married a man now in the top 200 richest men in the US gave up motherhood to do so. She does a lot of child-focused charity work but, you can tell it hasn’t healed that wound. She’s the richest sibling and cousin in her huge family and the only one with no kids of her own. It wouldn’t be an issue if she wanted to be child-free, but she has always wanted kids. She talks about it a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Unfortunately a lot of them (mainly my private girls’ high school friends) are in gilded cages married to older men. My friend from college who married a man now in the top 200 richest men in the US gave up motherhood to do so. She does a lot of child-focused charity work but, you can tell it hasn’t healed that wound. She’s the richest sibling and cousin in her huge family and the only one with no kids of her own. It wouldn’t be an issue if she wanted to be child-free, but she has always wanted kids. She talks about it a lot.

He doesn’t want heirs?

[Anonymous]

None of my friends married rich men but many, including myself, married men who became rich. I had my own career as well so it was fun starting out with little and then having a lot with being in love the real constant.