Women: are you jealous of your friends who married rich men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest since we're anonymous. I would love to have the option to SAH at least while our kids are young. Our household requires both of our incomes unless we radically changed our standard of living, moved to a cheaper home, etc. Therefore, I am envious of those whose circumstances allow them the freedom to pursue the life they want.

Certainly don't blame my husband. He's fabulous and I love him to death. He works very hard and is good at what he does, I just wish he got paid a lot more for it!

+1 I always wanted to be a SAHM, and it just doesn't make sense in our situation. It's especially hard in the summertime when I see the fun and freedom that SAHMs and their kids have! I have cousins with family money and I'll admit their FB posts make me a little melancholy sometimes.

[Anonymous]

No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K) and I can honestly say that I don't want for any more. My DH is very involved, and coaches all of our boys sports, which for some reason is really really sexy. I've had more than a few of the moms from over the years on our teams tell me that they wish their DHs were more like mine. I know for a fact that women are jealous of what I've got and money can't buy what he brings to the table.

I have ONE friend whose DH is rich (IPO money) and their marriage is breaking down. He is treats her terribly and talks to her like she is a dog. He now does it in front of people and it is horrible. She seems abused.

I'm not saying wealth leads to misery (because it doesn't!), but my one frame of reference of a DH who is "filthy" rich, he happens to be a douche bag and there is no amount of money in the world that will change that. His attitude makes him very unattractive.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

Yikes, once she insulted your kid on SM she lost the benefit out the doubt. You need to block her and set some boundaries. She's mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

If it was you plan to SAH it's likely you did filter for providers so you are being disingenuous.

And why not hide posts from her; I know defriending family can be tricky but what she never sees won't bother her.

[Anonymous]

It's helpful reading these posts because sometimes I do get jealous of a super rich aquaintance. I would like a housekeeper, second home, private school, extravagant vacations, cars, boat etc but I wouldn't trade my loving husband for her slightly cold high earning DH and I don't know if she is really happy. I know that I just want to be grateful for what I have and find joy in life and not compare my life to others. I am incredibly blessed and that's what I want to focus on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

If it was you plan to SAH it's likely you did filter for providers so you are being disingenuous.

And why not hide posts from her; I know defriending family can be tricky but what she never sees won't bother her.

I met my husband and fell for him while on a mission trip to central america. No I wasn't filtering men to suit my needs. If we lived in a tiny house with one car and I had to coupon and scrimp and save I would still be a sahm (thats just how I feel for my life everyone is different) I don't hide from her because 20 years on, if she doesn't like my life it is on her to not look at it. Like I said, it used to bother me now not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

Yikes, once she insulted your kid on SM she lost the benefit out the doubt. You need to block her and set some boundaries. She's mean.

She is and I do feel bad for her because the older she has gotten the more bitter she has become. If I were to block her or say anything to her it would cause a problem of sharknado proportions in my family. I just try to be nice to her and ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Not really. I mean, sure, more money would be nice, but (1) I never expected a man to provide for me, (2) I know plenty of women who "married for money and earned every penny," as my grandmother used to say, (3) money comes and goes, but character stays, and (4) money is only one of many things that a person can bring to a marriage. I don't compare myself to others, and I try to be happy for my friends when they are happy. I hope they will do the same for me.

[Anonymous]

My sister married a self-centered alcoholic. After she raised their kids, she left him. I wasn't jealous of her for a single second.

[Anonymous]

One of my classmates not only married rich, she now posts fb photos regularly with powerful CEOs and heads of states that she meets with her husband. Of course I get jealous, however I try to spin it that I am happy some of my friends have achieved such success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K)

\

How much of that HHI do YOU actually contribute compared to your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
+1 I always wanted to be a SAHM

Who doesn't? Working for a living sucks and is for the poors.

[Anonymous]

I like being financially independent and having a career. Never wanted to be a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

I have only one friend who married rich man.She is 25 and he is 60.He is ugly,bold guy but very nice as a person.She never worked and very good looking.She is very simple though and only recently got Chanel bag as a gift( they have been married for 5 years).She drives a nice car,they travel a lot but not to very exotic places,and whole lifestyle not very different from mine.The only diffrence is that they have money in the bank haha.I am not jelous at all,I think if he was good looking and young maybe I would.

[Anonymous]

No because I make lots of money. We're a team.