Women: are you jealous of your friends who married rich men?

[Anonymous]

Nope. I've made my own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K) and I can honestly say that I don't want for any more. My DH is very involved, and coaches all of our boys sports, which for some reason is really really sexy. I've had more than a few of the moms from over the years on our teams tell me that they wish their DHs were more like mine. I know for a fact that women are jealous of what I've got and money can't buy what he brings to the table.

I have ONE friend whose DH is rich (IPO money) and their marriage is breaking down. He is treats her terribly and talks to her like she is a dog. He now does it in front of people and it is horrible. She seems abused.

I'm not saying wealth leads to misery (because it doesn't!), but my one frame of reference of a DH who is "filthy" rich, he happens to be a douche bag and there is no amount of money in the world that will change that. His attitude makes him very unattractive.

You are the household that OP was asking about. You ARE one of the wealthy families. Did you not realize that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K) and I can honestly say that I don't want for any more. My DH is very involved, and coaches all of our boys sports, which for some reason is really really sexy. I've had more than a few of the moms from over the years on our teams tell me that they wish their DHs were more like mine. I know for a fact that women are jealous of what I've got and money can't buy what he brings to the table.

I have ONE friend whose DH is rich (IPO money) and their marriage is breaking down. He is treats her terribly and talks to her like she is a dog. He now does it in front of people and it is horrible. She seems abused.

I'm not saying wealth leads to misery (because it doesn't!), but my one frame of reference of a DH who is "filthy" rich, he happens to be a douche bag and there is no amount of money in the world that will change that. His attitude makes him very unattractive.

You are the household that OP was asking about. You ARE one of the wealthy families. Did you not realize that?

OP asked about marrying rich men, not about dual WOHP professionals who together make $450K.

[Anonymous]

No, but we're doing fine. Maybe if we were in an apartment and couldn't afford extra stuff for my kids, then I would probably have jealousy. I hated being a SAHM, I was grateful when we needed my paycheck and I had a reason to go back to work. (I always could go back to work, but my own anxiety/issues kept me at home for a bit).

Plus, everyone I know that's wealthy, I've always known as wealthy. I don't know anyone really that started at middle class with me and made a bunch of money.

[Anonymous]

Nope, but DH makes more than the DH of most of my friends, so not jealous. We have as much money as we need.

[Anonymous]

I thought so, but then I was behind a wealthy looking family in line today and the woman had duck lips and I realized my life is a-ok just as it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K)

\

How much of that HHI do YOU actually contribute compared to your husband?

W2 for 2014 was 229k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

If it was you plan to SAH it's likely you did filter for providers so you are being disingenuous.

And why not hide posts from her; I know defriending family can be tricky but what she never sees won't bother her.

I met my husband and fell for him while on a mission trip to central america. No I wasn't filtering men to suit my needs. If we lived in a tiny house with one car and I had to coupon and scrimp and save I would still be a sahm (thats just how I feel for my life everyone is different) I don't hide from her because 20 years on, if she doesn't like my life it is on her to not look at it. Like I said, it used to bother me now not so much.

Very nice story, but folks of modest means tend to not volunteer internationally. Just sayin'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K) and I can honestly say that I don't want for any more. My DH is very involved, and coaches all of our boys sports, which for some reason is really really sexy. I've had more than a few of the moms from over the years on our teams tell me that they wish their DHs were more like mine. I know for a fact that women are jealous of what I've got and money can't buy what he brings to the table.

I have ONE friend whose DH is rich (IPO money) and their marriage is breaking down. He is treats her terribly and talks to her like she is a dog. He now does it in front of people and it is horrible. She seems abused.

I'm not saying wealth leads to misery (because it doesn't!), but my one frame of reference of a DH who is "filthy" rich, he happens to be a douche bag and there is no amount of money in the world that will change that. His attitude makes him very unattractive.

You are the household that OP was asking about. You ARE one of the wealthy families. Did you not realize that?

The question was not "are you jealous of well off families" it was are you jealous of friends who married rich men.

1. I married my DH when he was making 65k/yr, so I did not marry a rich man.
2. Sorry, but anyone college educated who is 40yrs old and making just over 200k is not wealthy. They are well off and comfortable.
3. I do not have, and never have had a desire to be a SAHM and am quite content being a significant financial contributor to the household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
2. Sorry, but anyone college educated who is 40yrs old and making just over 200k is not wealthy. They are well off and comfortable.

LOL, keep dreaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
2. Sorry, but anyone college educated who is 40yrs old and making just over 200k is not wealthy. They are well off and comfortable.

LOL, keep dreaming.

Wealth is not what you earn, it's what you keep. I know people who make $750K a year who are not wealthy, because they save maybe $30 or $40K of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
2. Sorry, but anyone college educated who is 40yrs old and making just over 200k is not wealthy. They are well off and comfortable.

LOL, keep dreaming.

Just curious, PP, what do you do to earn just over $200,000?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

Why haven't you defriended her???

Because she loves rubbing it on her face. If not, why would she not defriend her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wealth is not what you earn, it's what you keep. I know people who make $750K a year who are not wealthy, because they save maybe $30 or $40K of it.

False, those people are wealthy. They're also stupid.

[Anonymous]

Neither my husband nor I come from any real wealth. His family is solidly middle class (where parents were able to pay for college, have a good retirement), my family is more working class (our needs were always met, but there was never any money left over for saving).

We do fine now, but there are definitely times I wish we had the security that a trust fund or rich family affords.

But at the end of the day I have the best partner possible in life and we have great kids.