Women: are you jealous of your friends who married rich men?

[Anonymous]

Are you? Why? Why not?

I have this one friend who's husbands company is growing like crazy and she can't stop talking about it!

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest since we're anonymous. I would love to have the option to SAH at least while our kids are young. Our household requires both of our incomes unless we radically changed our standard of living, moved to a cheaper home, etc. Therefore, I am envious of those whose circumstances allow them the freedom to pursue the life they want.

Certainly don't blame my husband. He's fabulous and I love him to death. He works very hard and is good at what he does, I just wish he got paid a lot more for it!

[Anonymous]

No, but I'm wealthy and married someone in similar circumstances. If any of my friends are jealous they hide it.

[Anonymous]

On the surface, I am jealous. Great vacations, part-time or no work of their choosing, no budget on clothes/hair/nails/spa/etc.

When I think about it a little more, there are some deeper things I'm not jealous of. In the particular situations I'm thinking of, there's a lot of insecurity - insecure about what would happen if he left (since she hasn't been working full time), insecure about if she is maintaining her looks enough to hold up her "end of the bargain," insecure about how they measure up compared to others in their neighborhood, etc. Certainly not every rich family is that way, but specifically in the situations I know where women "married up" and are to some degree, kept women - there is a lot of that. And I don't envy that.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I wish my life were a little easier and I think a little more income might help that, but no, I think living like that comes with its own sets of stressors.

[Anonymous]

No. My H and I traded our high paying stressful jobs for the simpler life. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Occasionally I am, but deep down inside I'm terrified of the power imbalance that would result from my husband earning a lot more than I do. We both work full time but I earn more.

Of course if DH ever started earning a lot more I'd be thrilled, but I realize that my temperament is not suited to me ever staying at home and relying on his income entirely.

When I was dating I had the strong sense that money comes and goes but it's an individual's character that counts. I know it sounds like a humble brag and flame me if you want, but I think back to this intuition whenever I'm feeling jealous of women who married rich men.

That said, I get INTENSE FB envy when I see friends going on fabulous vacations. But I wouldn't change my decision to marry my wonderful, but not high-earning, DH in a million years.

[Anonymous]

I might envy vacations/travel, but not in general. In my circle, the really wealthy husbands tend to be fairly rude to their wives in public. If they can't bother to hide their irritability in public, I can't imagine what happens behind closed doors.

[Anonymous]

No times 10.

One has a husband that constantly cheats, one has a husband that fathered a kid when they were separated briefly. We may not have that kind of money but my marriage is secure and I'm not miserable.

[Anonymous]

When I was younger I definitely was a bit envious. Now I've seen how money isn't always forever. One friend went through a terrible divorce after 17 years of marriage and 15 of those years she SAH. She literally will never recover and will prob work (a low paying job) until well into her 70s. Ive have one friend who's "rich" husband is now in jail for a huge ponzi scheme. And I have one friend who's husband makes millions but is never home and she is so desperately lonely its truly sad to see. I also have friends who are rich and happy and will most likely always be rich and happy but not EVERY situation turns out perfect.

[Anonymous]

No. DH and I love our flexibility and free time. All our friends are crazy busy.

[Anonymous]

No, not in the least and I'm very happy for them. I do however have a girlfriend who's dating a very good looking (and well endowed according to her) personal trainer. I do envy the fun, passion and excitement a little.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for the typos on my mobile

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

Why haven't you defriended her???