Women: are you jealous of your friends who married rich men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like being financially independent and having a career. Never wanted to be a SAHM.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K) and I can honestly say that I don't want for any more. My DH is very involved, and coaches all of our boys sports, which for some reason is really really sexy. I've had more than a few of the moms from over the years on our teams tell me that they wish their DHs were more like mine. I know for a fact that women are jealous of what I've got and money can't buy what he brings to the table.

I have ONE friend whose DH is rich (IPO money) and their marriage is breaking down. He is treats her terribly and talks to her like she is a dog. He now does it in front of people and it is horrible. She seems abused.

I'm not saying wealth leads to misery (because it doesn't!), but my one frame of reference of a DH who is "filthy" rich, he happens to be a douche bag and there is no amount of money in the world that will change that. His attitude makes him very unattractive.

You are the household that OP was asking about. You ARE one of the wealthy families. Did you not realize that?

I am glad I am not the only one who read this and thought to myself that she is one of the wealthy families w/ a HHI of 450K! LOL

[Anonymous]

No, but I am insanely jealous of my friends that have loads of family money. Most of them hide it well and are very low key about it. That just makes me even more jealous. They are loaded without having to work for it, and they are classy. Yup, I'm jealous of those friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

If it was you plan to SAH it's likely you did filter for providers so you are being disingenuous.

And why not hide posts from her; I know defriending family can be tricky but what she never sees won't bother her.

I met my husband and fell for him while on a mission trip to central america. No I wasn't filtering men to suit my needs. If we lived in a tiny house with one car and I had to coupon and scrimp and save I would still be a sahm (thats just how I feel for my life everyone is different) I don't hide from her because 20 years on, if she doesn't like my life it is on her to not look at it. Like I said, it used to bother me now not so much.

It's easy to say you would have been a SAHM, no matter the circumstances, from your perch. If your DH had to work 16 hours a day at a dangerous job with a long commute would you still be a SAHM, or would you set aside your desires and do what was best for your family? I prefer to work, but if it turns out at some point that for me to be a SAHM is what works best for my family, that's what I'll do. I suspect your "SAHM no matter what" triggers some obnoxious reactions, though I do think your friend is completely out of line.

You do realize there are low income sahms right? Some people just want to be primary caregiver to their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K) and I can honestly say that I don't want for any more. My DH is very involved, and coaches all of our boys sports, which for some reason is really really sexy. I've had more than a few of the moms from over the years on our teams tell me that they wish their DHs were more like mine. I know for a fact that women are jealous of what I've got and money can't buy what he brings to the table.

I have ONE friend whose DH is rich (IPO money) and their marriage is breaking down. He is treats her terribly and talks to her like she is a dog. He now does it in front of people and it is horrible. She seems abused.

I'm not saying wealth leads to misery (because it doesn't!), but my one frame of reference of a DH who is "filthy" rich, he happens to be a douche bag and there is no amount of money in the world that will change that. His attitude makes him very unattractive.

You are the household that OP was asking about. You ARE one of the wealthy families. Did you not realize that?

I am glad I am not the only one who read this and thought to myself that she is one of the wealthy families w/ a HHI of 450K! LOL

The reading skills of some of the respondents make me seriously wonder how far into 10th grade some of you made it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1 I always wanted to be a SAHM

Who doesn't? Working for a living sucks and is for the poors.

I don't, and never will if I am not laid off...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

Why are you allowing this? you can block her or write an equally rude comment like "It seems that you can not get beyond how much our HHI is and think that you have the right to make rude comments. What goes on in your head is entirely your issue. I would appreciate that you make no more comments about my life. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

If it was you plan to SAH it's likely you did filter for providers so you are being disingenuous.

And why not hide posts from her; I know defriending family can be tricky but what she never sees won't bother her.

I met my husband and fell for him while on a mission trip to central america. No I wasn't filtering men to suit my needs. If we lived in a tiny house with one car and I had to coupon and scrimp and save I would still be a sahm (thats just how I feel for my life everyone is different) I don't hide from her because 20 years on, if she doesn't like my life it is on her to not look at it. Like I said, it used to bother me now not so much.

It's easy to say you would have been a SAHM, no matter the circumstances, from your perch. If your DH had to work 16 hours a day at a dangerous job with a long commute would you still be a SAHM, or would you set aside your desires and do what was best for your family? I prefer to work, but if it turns out at some point that for me to be a SAHM is what works best for my family, that's what I'll do. I suspect your "SAHM no matter what" triggers some obnoxious reactions, though I do think your friend is completely out of line.

You do realize there are low income sahms right? Some people just want to be primary caregiver to their children.

Yes, my parents were poor and my mom was a SAHM. But anyone who would let their husbands work dangerously long hours and never see their children, simply due to personal preference, is not a very good mother. Any decent parent takes into account the good of the family, not just what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I Now I've seen how money isn't always forever. Ive have one friend who's "rich" husband is now in jail for a huge ponzi scheme.

Was just going to post about someone I know vaguely through mutual friends. This "rich" couple were country club members, had a huge house, husband was always working, but then family took fabulous ski trips with huge groups of friends, international trips, fancy parties...

Husband was working hard at stealing millions to support their lifestyle and all those vacations and now, he's in prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

If it was you plan to SAH it's likely you did filter for providers so you are being disingenuous.

And why not hide posts from her; I know defriending family can be tricky but what she never sees won't bother her.

I met my husband and fell for him while on a mission trip to central america. No I wasn't filtering men to suit my needs. If we lived in a tiny house with one car and I had to coupon and scrimp and save I would still be a sahm (thats just how I feel for my life everyone is different) I don't hide from her because 20 years on, if she doesn't like my life it is on her to not look at it. Like I said, it used to bother me now not so much.

It's easy to say you would have been a SAHM, no matter the circumstances, from your perch. If your DH had to work 16 hours a day at a dangerous job with a long commute would you still be a SAHM, or would you set aside your desires and do what was best for your family? I prefer to work, but if it turns out at some point that for me to be a SAHM is what works best for my family, that's what I'll do. I suspect your "SAHM no matter what" triggers some obnoxious reactions, though I do think your friend is completely out of line.

You do realize there are low income sahms right? Some people just want to be primary caregiver to their children.

Yes, my parents were poor and my mom was a SAHM. But anyone who would let their husbands work dangerously long hours and never see their children, simply due to personal preference, is not a very good mother. Any decent parent takes into account the good of the family, not just what she wants.

Did the pp say she did or would do that? No, you just want to hate on her so you are making shit up and projecting your own issues on her. I hate when dcum does this.

[Anonymous]

I do not like my friends rich husband.
I envy fifferent kind of women. Ones who dare to have dreams and ambitions of their own, are not afraid of towing the line when it comes to societys expectations, can speak a foreign language fluently, have lived abroad, a wide variety of interests, not afraid to speak their mind, resourceful, and happy.

I do not know if money can make people happy, but it definitely does not make people nice, or considerate, caring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No times 10.

One has a husband that constantly cheats, one has a husband that fathered a kid when they were separated briefly. We may not have that kind of money but my marriage is secure and I'm not miserable.

Did you ever ask them why they stay? obviously the wives married for money and security but not love so the husband looks for it elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K) and I can honestly say that I don't want for any more. My DH is very involved, and coaches all of our boys sports, which for some reason is really really sexy. I've had more than a few of the moms from over the years on our teams tell me that they wish their DHs were more like mine. I know for a fact that women are jealous of what I've got and money can't buy what he brings to the table.

I have ONE friend whose DH is rich (IPO money) and their marriage is breaking down. He is treats her terribly and talks to her like she is a dog. He now does it in front of people and it is horrible. She seems abused.

I'm not saying wealth leads to misery (because it doesn't!), but my one frame of reference of a DH who is "filthy" rich, he happens to be a douche bag and there is no amount of money in the world that will change that. His attitude makes him very unattractive.

You are the household that OP was asking about. You ARE one of the wealthy families. Did you not realize that?

I am glad I am not the only one who read this and thought to myself that she is one of the wealthy families w/ a HHI of 450K! LOL

The reading skills of some of the respondents make me seriously wonder how far into 10th grade some of you made it.

Just more proof that high income households don't necessarily mean smarter households!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but we do well enough to have a VERY nice life (combined HHI around 450K) and I can honestly say that I don't want for any more. My DH is very involved, and coaches all of our boys sports, which for some reason is really really sexy. I've had more than a few of the moms from over the years on our teams tell me that they wish their DHs were more like mine. I know for a fact that women are jealous of what I've got and money can't buy what he brings to the table.

I have ONE friend whose DH is rich (IPO money) and their marriage is breaking down. He is treats her terribly and talks to her like she is a dog. He now does it in front of people and it is horrible. She seems abused.

I'm not saying wealth leads to misery (because it doesn't!), but my one frame of reference of a DH who is "filthy" rich, he happens to be a douche bag and there is no amount of money in the world that will change that. His attitude makes him very unattractive.

You are the household that OP was asking about. You ARE one of the wealthy families. Did you not realize that?

I am glad I am not the only one who read this and thought to myself that she is one of the wealthy families w/ a HHI of 450K! LOL

The reading skills of some of the respondents make me seriously wonder how far into 10th grade some of you made it.

Probably explains why they will never have a high 450K HHI and wealth completely out of the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I can add a different perspective. I married wealthy and I am a sahm. I have a family member who is very envious of this. She cannot stop making snide commits about gold digging and marrying for money, even though dh and I have been married for 20 years are each other's best friends and very much in love.

She goes on how it must be nice to be a sahm and guilts me for it. I tell her it was always my plan to be a sahm, that I would have made it work somehow no matter finances, she'ok then say something like I am not a real sahm because we have money or I wouldn't have married dh if he were poor.

Anything I put on social media gets a rude comment from her. "Must be nice" "first world problem" this was a recent one, after my daughter started her first riding lesson. "Lucky kid or spoiled brat? You be the judge"

It's a sad and used to bother me a lot. She and I were close until I got engaged, then her attitude has seriously changed towards me and she can't let it go.

If it was you plan to SAH it's likely you did filter for providers so you are being disingenuous.

And why not hide posts from her; I know defriending family can be tricky but what she never sees won't bother her.

I met my husband and fell for him while on a mission trip to central america. No I wasn't filtering men to suit my needs. If we lived in a tiny house with one car and I had to coupon and scrimp and save I would still be a sahm (thats just how I feel for my life everyone is different) I don't hide from her because 20 years on, if she doesn't like my life it is on her to not look at it. Like I said, it used to bother me now not so much.

It's easy to say you would have been a SAHM, no matter the circumstances, from your perch. If your DH had to work 16 hours a day at a dangerous job with a long commute would you still be a SAHM, or would you set aside your desires and do what was best for your family? I prefer to work, but if it turns out at some point that for me to be a SAHM is what works best for my family, that's what I'll do. I suspect your "SAHM no matter what" triggers some obnoxious reactions, though I do think your friend is completely out of line.

You do realize there are low income sahms right? Some people just want to be primary caregiver to their children.

Yes, my parents were poor and my mom was a SAHM. But anyone who would let their husbands work dangerously long hours and never see their children, simply due to personal preference, is not a very good mother. Any decent parent takes into account the good of the family, not just what she wants.

What a nice sentiment - your spouse did well in picking you as a life partner.