Our 35yr old divorced friend is dating a 25yr old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just came back to read most of the responses. I may not have articulated everything clearly.

1) I have met the girl. She's an airhead. Period.
2) He's just doing this as a way to get back at his exwife IMO.
3) He's a friend of the group and his wife wasn't part of the group so he gets to stay.
4) She graduated in 2013. She was 22 then. She's 25 now. I literally almost asked her if she could babysit my 4yr old on Saturday night but then I realized she was probably going to be out at Smith Point or Old Glory.

YOU sound like the 22 year old. Grow the hell up, people change and have marriages fall apart. It doesn't sound like you are a friend to this guy at all. Eventually, you will realize what life is about. You haven't figured it out yet. Different people are ok.

I feel really sorry for the kid you are raising as you probably are teaching them that differences are bad. Yuck. I hope my kid has never met yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It feels like we're babysitting her or that the babysitter joined us. Her view of the world is so skewed. It's awkward.

So what you are saying is that you can't handle people with a different world view than yours? How small minded and small town of you. Where are you from - obviously not DC to have such a strange world view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I HAVE met her. I just felt that for his sake and for hers we might want to not have them tag along to us to 2Amys. She probably watches Empire and bought he Taylor Swift CD while we all watch MSNBC and listen to 90s pop. Lol.

I am so embarrassed for the OP. Did you just end a sentence with "Lol."

This has to be a high school kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

YOU sound like the 22 year old. Grow the hell up, people change and have marriages fall apart. It doesn't sound like you are a friend to this guy at all. Eventually, you will realize what life is about. You haven't figured it out yet. Different people are ok.

Either that or she's just jealous and is why she's hating so much on this girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is actually true, the real issue is that you (clearly a woman) are insecure about this guy bringing a hot young bouncy thing around your husbands.

This is the most likely truth. She (and perhaps the other "old" ladies) are afraid that their husbands might get the idea that THEY TOO could land a smokin' 25 year old.

Or it's just a troll.

Yep . Divorce is contagious and the men are definitely envious.

[Anonymous]

The young woman is only dating your friend for a fast ticket to the more affluent life she desires.

A lot of young women my age, including a number of close friends, hate the thought of marrying guys our own age because they don't want to wait another 10-15 years to pay off their student loans, be able to afford having children, buy the big house, drive the fancy car, and dress in designer clothe, shoes, and handbags.

Instead, they prefer to date men in their late 30s or into their 40s, who can already afford all those things -- even, by the way, if they are married. I have explained to them that the first wife typically married the guy when he was young, and has been with him the 10-15 years it took to acquire all those things. It is all so crass and depressing and materialistic.

My point is, yes, OP I would distrust the motives of someone my own age who preferred an older man, it probably is for his money, and she will probably look laterally his older guy friends for a better option for herself, or her friends.

[Anonymous]

35 isn't really an "older man" to a 25 year old. At that age range, they could be siblings. If she was 19, or he was 50, I'd understand the cynicism, but 25-35? Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Ha ha - another old insecure bitch. Your husband will sneak glances at the pretty young thing and think about her the next time you have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The young woman is only dating your friend for a fast ticket to the more affluent life she desires.

A lot of young women my age, including a number of close friends, hate the thought of marrying guys our own age because they don't want to wait another 10-15 years to pay off their student loans, be able to afford having children, buy the big house, drive the fancy car, and dress in designer clothe, shoes, and handbags.

Instead, they prefer to date men in their late 30s or into their 40s, who can already afford all those things -- even, by the way, if they are married. I have explained to them that the first wife typically married the guy when he was young, and has been with him the 10-15 years it took to acquire all those things. It is all so crass and depressing and materialistic.

My point is, yes, OP I would distrust the motives of someone my own age who preferred an older man, it probably is for his money, and she will probably look laterally his older guy friends for a better option for herself, or her friends.

It takes two to tango

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The young woman is only dating your friend for a fast ticket to the more affluent life she desires.

A lot of young women my age, including a number of close friends, hate the thought of marrying guys our own age because they don't want to wait another 10-15 years to pay off their student loans, be able to afford having children, buy the big house, drive the fancy car, and dress in designer clothe, shoes, and handbags.

Instead, they prefer to date men in their late 30s or into their 40s, who can already afford all those things -- even, by the way, if they are married. I have explained to them that the first wife typically married the guy when he was young, and has been with him the 10-15 years it took to acquire all those things. It is all so crass and depressing and materialistic.

My point is, yes, OP I would distrust the motives of someone my own age who preferred an older man, it probably is for his money, and she will probably look laterally his older guy friends for a better option for herself, or her friends.

And, by the way, I am particularly sensitive to this type of situation. My parents are both college professors, and my mom is the type of open, accepting, non-judgmental woman the previous poster describe - she believes in inviting younger people into your social group and expanding your viewpoints. She frequently invites her students for book groups at her house, or for Sunday dinners.

When I was a high school sophomore, one of her graduate students - a young woman in her early 20s - came over sometimes for parties or dinner. My mom introduced her to my dad because she thought that he could better advise her. Yes, they began an affair - my dad was in his late 40s at the time - it was devastating to my mother, she was blindsided, and it broke up my family, as my dad (and his girlfriend) decamped to another university because of the awkwardness of it all.

Twelve years later my dad's academic career has never regained the traction or momentum he had before, and his girlfriend left him for another, successful academic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The young woman is only dating your friend for a fast ticket to the more affluent life she desires.

A lot of young women my age, including a number of close friends, hate the thought of marrying guys our own age because they don't want to wait another 10-15 years to pay off their student loans, be able to afford having children, buy the big house, drive the fancy car, and dress in designer clothe, shoes, and handbags.

Instead, they prefer to date men in their late 30s or into their 40s, who can already afford all those things -- even, by the way, if they are married. I have explained to them that the first wife typically married the guy when he was young, and has been with him the 10-15 years it took to acquire all those things. It is all so crass and depressing and materialistic.

My point is, yes, OP I would distrust the motives of someone my own age who preferred an older man, it probably is for his money, and she will probably look laterally his older guy friends for a better option for herself, or her friends.

And, by the way, I am particularly sensitive to this type of situation. My parents are both college professors, and my mom is the type of open, accepting, non-judgmental woman the previous poster describe - she believes in inviting younger people into your social group and expanding your viewpoints. She frequently invites her students for book groups at her house, or for Sunday dinners.

When I was a high school sophomore, one of her graduate students - a young woman in her early 20s - came over sometimes for parties or dinner. My mom introduced her to my dad because she thought that he could better advise her. Yes, they began an affair - my dad was in his late 40s at the time - it was devastating to my mother, she was blindsided, and it broke up my family, as my dad (and his girlfriend) decamped to another university because of the awkwardness of it all.

Twelve years later my dad's academic career has never regained the traction or momentum he had before, and his girlfriend left him for another, successful academic.

Please shut up. You have exceeded your word quota for the day.

[Anonymous]

I would ice him out. But if he does bring his GF around, I would be nice to her. She's 25 and it's not her fault that a creepy 35 yo who should know better is after her. But yeah, distance yourself from him for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:35 isn't really an "older man" to a 25 year old. At that age range, they could be siblings. If she was 19, or he was 50, I'd understand the cynicism, but 25-35? Give me a break.

I am the poster in my 20s who has the friends totally obsessed with dating older men. The men in their mid-30s may not be much older, true, but they are old enough to have finished their graduate educations, launched their careers, paid off their student loans, bought their big house (or at least they can afford to), dress in fine clothes, drive the luxury cars, and take amazing vacations.

It's the difference, in my profession, between dating a clueless, first-year associate with absolutely no status, and dating a powerful partner whom everyone respects. The age difference may only be little more than a decade, but the power, wealth, and status difference is a much bigger gulf. I detest this sort of wealth-and-status seeking among the women my age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The young woman is only dating your friend for a fast ticket to the more affluent life she desires.

A lot of young women my age, including a number of close friends, hate the thought of marrying guys our own age because they don't want to wait another 10-15 years to pay off their student loans, be able to afford having children, buy the big house, drive the fancy car, and dress in designer clothe, shoes, and handbags.

Instead, they prefer to date men in their late 30s or into their 40s, who can already afford all those things -- even, by the way, if they are married. I have explained to them that the first wife typically married the guy when he was young, and has been with him the 10-15 years it took to acquire all those things. It is all so crass and depressing and materialistic.

My point is, yes, OP I would distrust the motives of someone my own age who preferred an older man, it probably is for his money, and she will probably look laterally his older guy friends for a better option for herself, or her friends.

And, by the way, I am particularly sensitive to this type of situation. My parents are both college professors, and my mom is the type of open, accepting, non-judgmental woman the previous poster describe - she believes in inviting younger people into your social group and expanding your viewpoints. She frequently invites her students for book groups at her house, or for Sunday dinners.

When I was a high school sophomore, one of her graduate students - a young woman in her early 20s - came over sometimes for parties or dinner. My mom introduced her to my dad because she thought that he could better advise her. Yes, they began an affair - my dad was in his late 40s at the time - it was devastating to my mother, she was blindsided, and it broke up my family, as my dad (and his girlfriend) decamped to another university because of the awkwardness of it all.

Twelve years later my dad's academic career has never regained the traction or momentum he had before, and his girlfriend left him for another, successful academic.

Please shut up. You have exceeded your word quota for the day.

I rarely write on this site, so think of it as using my accumulated, earned writing days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The young woman is only dating your friend for a fast ticket to the more affluent life she desires.

A lot of young women my age, including a number of close friends, hate the thought of marrying guys our own age because they don't want to wait another 10-15 years to pay off their student loans, be able to afford having children, buy the big house, drive the fancy car, and dress in designer clothe, shoes, and handbags.

Instead, they prefer to date men in their late 30s or into their 40s, who can already afford all those things -- even, by the way, if they are married. I have explained to them that the first wife typically married the guy when he was young, and has been with him the 10-15 years it took to acquire all those things. It is all so crass and depressing and materialistic.

My point is, yes, OP I would distrust the motives of someone my own age who preferred an older man, it probably is for his money, and she will probably look laterally his older guy friends for a better option for herself, or her friends.

And, by the way, I am particularly sensitive to this type of situation. My parents are both college professors, and my mom is the type of open, accepting, non-judgmental woman the previous poster describe - she believes in inviting younger people into your social group and expanding your viewpoints. She frequently invites her students for book groups at her house, or for Sunday dinners.

When I was a high school sophomore, one of her graduate students - a young woman in her early 20s - came over sometimes for parties or dinner. My mom introduced her to my dad because she thought that he could better advise her. Yes, they began an affair - my dad was in his late 40s at the time - it was devastating to my mother, she was blindsided, and it broke up my family, as my dad (and his girlfriend) decamped to another university because of the awkwardness of it all.

Twelve years later my dad's academic career has never regained the traction or momentum he had before, and his girlfriend left him for another, successful academic.

This is not remotely the same situation. Your father was in his late 40s, married and she was in her early 20s. That's an entire generation, almost 30 years. That's QUITE different than a 25 year old dating a 35 year old.