What Do You Think of SG's No Children Allowed Policy?

[Anonymous]

What the heck is up with all these tales of "6:30 a.m. retrievals"??????
I've had 4 at Shady Grove and they have all been during normal working hours, beginning at 9am.

I think this is much ado about nothing on behalf of some of the previous posters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG!!! Can't you just get a sitter? Seriously?!!! What's the big deal of having a sitter while you have an ER or ET? The monitoring appointments you can go alone. What am I missing?

I don't understand it either. . . and the whole thing about the poor DH sitting in the car with the DS escapes me too. Breakfast, followed by a little early morning grocery shopping, Target, CVS? If you live in a city without extended family, it is very realistic to have emergency childcare in place for unexpected situations. Being prepared is a part of life.

Thanks for the discussion, it really makes me think about the things that I need to do before I get pregnant . . . so I want continuously whine about ridiculous matters 8)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG!!! Can't you just get a sitter? Seriously?!!! What's the big deal of having a sitter while you have an ER or ET? The monitoring appointments you can go alone. What am I missing?

I don't understand it either. . . and the whole thing about the poor DH sitting in the car with the DS escapes me too. Breakfast, followed by a little early morning grocery shopping, Target, CVS? If you live in a city without extended family, it is very realistic to have emergency childcare in place for unexpected situations. Being prepared is a part of life.

Thanks for the discussion, it really makes me think about the things that I need to do before I get pregnant . . . so I want continuously whine about ridiculous matters 8)

oops . .. meant won't. Maybe I should start a nanny business aimed at the fertility industry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

Nice. Have you ever thought that perhaps, with a little creativity, you might be able to solve your problem (and I should note that your problems clearly extend well beyond this one) by finding a solution that lies between your son being cooped up in the car for two hours and violating SG's policy? Perhaps your husband could take your son to a nearby coffeeshop (these usually open early) where they could have a cookie or muffin, read books and play games, then return to the office to pick you up? Then you could avoid causing many women anguish in addition to antagonizing the SG staff. Perhaps this new plan would cause you a slight bit of inconvenience. But I'm sure your son would survive, and perhaps this would benefit other people - as opposed to your current plan, which benefits only you at others' expense.

Good luck with the rest of your life. You clearly will need it.

[Anonymous]

I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

We've only been in this area for a year and have no family here but I can think of 4 people (friends!) that I could ask to come watch my kids (or whose houses I could drop them off at) should i need last minute child care for something as critical as this. However, I'm not surprised that you have none of these options considering how nasty you appear. Perhaps you should spend a little time in life investing in other people!
And I agree with the previous poster as well about these tales of whoa of husbands circling parking lots with the kids in tow while they wait for egg retrievals to be over. My husband and the kids would be off having a blast having breakfast!

[Anonymous]

sorry but kids carry alot of germs. thank god there is a no kids policy. i wouldn't go to a clinic if they allowed kids. here you are trying to conceive, and then if you get sick it could jeapordize everything. op, you need to be sensitive to others who don't even have a kid of their own. really, try to put yourself in their shoes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

pp above - wow. listen to yourself. what an awful thing to say/write. have the nurse bring you down to the car...that's what i say to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

Wow, this is soooo mean. pp, really..you need to reflect on what you just wrote. i have 3 kids and am going through ivf. i would never subject anyone to what you are describing. please give these women a break. you need to be more sensitive. if i saw you in the clinic, i would complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

CLEARLY THIS POSTER HAS NO FRIENDS TO ASK TO WATCH HER CHILD WITH AN ATTITUDE AND A SELFISH OUTLOOK ON LIFE LIKE THAT. HOW COULD SHE?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the women on here who are complaining about the policy. If you don't like it simply do not use SGF. It's that simple and to the point. No one is pointing a gun to your head saying you need to use them. If you want to go to SGF based on their success rates and reputation then so be it but take the good with the bad. You can't have everything in life! Complaining and whining won't get you anywhere.

[Anonymous]

It is amazing to me how people can call not wanting to stress out a 3 year old 'whining' - this coming from grown adult women who are themselves whining about the fragility of their own mind. Someone mentioned that DS would survive. Yes, most likely, and so will you as you probably have about 30 years more of life experience ahead of him. Sorry to be so harsh and blunt but when you call my concern for DS whining you leave me no choice but to speak to you in equally harsh ways.

Because I don't give DS for babysitting that means I don't have friends? Because I'm being blunt with you, that means I don't have friends? DH and I don't use babysitters and nannies because we don't like using them; we only leave DS with family members and they live 4 states away. I'm being extremely honest and taking advantage of the anonymity provided by this forum because I feel your view here is the extremely narcissistic one, not to mention extremely unhealthy for your state of mind long term. Grown women who institute sweeping policies to ban all children from a fertility clinic because of their refusal to deal with a personal issue by themselves. When DH heard of SG's policy, he was baffled. His comment was "If this was a men's/ andrology clinic only, they'd never have such a policy." He's right. Why is he right?

For your information, I DID ask SG nurse to walk me to the car and she refused. She said it was fine to have DS and DH in reception area. So don't think the SG is as annoyed as you are. I would guess that the vast majority of them feel this policy is over-the-top appeasement for a very vocal minority group of women.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I want to also add that the reason for all the emotional upheavel associated w/ infertility is the assumption that every woman should be able to biologically have a child. This very premise is false.

I have a loved one with cancer. When first DX with cancer, she asked "Why me?" Then after introspection, she said, "Why NOT me?" Every one of us is going to be tested in life in some way shape and form. Some of us will lose our money in this economy, some will lose our spouse, our loved one to divorce or death, some will lose our child to a tragic accident or disease, some will get cancer, and yes, some will be infertile. So few are the people who have never had to deal with any tragedy in their life. We just can't expect life to hand us everything. We can only learn to cope with whatever life does hand us.

I understand the pain in life, I do. But one may not expect others to carry some part of your burden when it does inconvenience or affect others. Nobody is proposing that a baby be brought in front of your face soon after you receive bad news. A family waiting room should not upset you. It's a very fair compromise. Kids will not be in your presence, they'd be in a separate waiting room.

[Anonymous]

I find this entire thread extremely sad. Up until now, this has been the one DCUMs forum that generally has been very supportive and hasn't attracted trolls. There seems to be an extreme amount of judging, and lack of empathy and sympathy, in many of these postings. People have different childcare situations or beliefs. People deal with their infertility in different ways. Why do we have to beat each other up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I want to also add that the reason for all the emotional upheavel associated w/ infertility is the assumption that every woman should be able to biologically have a child. This very premise is false.

I have a loved one with cancer. When first DX with cancer, she asked "Why me?" Then after introspection, she said, "Why NOT me?" Every one of us is going to be tested in life in some way shape and form. Some of us will lose our money in this economy, some will lose our spouse, our loved one to divorce or death, some will lose our child to a tragic accident or disease, some will get cancer, and yes, some will be infertile. So few are the people who have never had to deal with any tragedy in their life. We just can't expect life to hand us everything. We can only learn to cope with whatever life does hand us.

I understand the pain in life, I do. But one may not expect others to carry some part of your burden when it does inconvenience or affect others. Nobody is proposing that a baby be brought in front of your face soon after you receive bad news. A family waiting room should not upset you. It's a very fair compromise. Kids will not be in your presence, they'd be in a separate waiting room.

I agree. And you can't expect life to hand you a clinic that allows children - or that has a separate waiting room for kids - when you have specifically chosen a clinic with a no-child policy. Everyone else at SG manages, somehow, to abide by the policy. Some may even have selected SG based on its no-child policy. So it is patently unfair for you to impose your own needs on everyone else.

Please take a hard look at yourself. No one is imposing a burden on you - YOU are the one imposing YOUR burden (lack of childcare) on everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this entire thread extremely sad. Up until now, this has been the one DCUMs forum that generally has been very supportive and hasn't attracted trolls. There seems to be an extreme amount of judging, and lack of empathy and sympathy, in many of these postings. People have different childcare situations or beliefs. People deal with their infertility in different ways. Why do we have to beat each other up?

I'm sorry but have you ever struggled with infertility and not had ONE child. I have several children and I started IVF when I had none. No child policy exists because children carry viruses etc. and also upset moms who are struggling. Give me a Break! Give the women who are struggling a break and let them the opportunity to voice their opinions! Don't call us trolls. Being insensitive to women who are struggling just having one child is trollish enough!