What Do You Think of SG's No Children Allowed Policy?

[Anonymous]

I have been a former and am now a returning patient to SG. My nurse/office manager told me that the overwhelming majority of patients at SG are for primary infertility, as in they do not already have children, NOT for secondary infertility, as in they already have at least one other child. So from just a numbers standpoint, if the overwhelming majority do not have children, and probably (just guessing on this one) are paying tens of thousands of dollars to be there to fulfill a dream, and if the no child's policy makes them more comfortable and less stressed in a horribly stressful and often heartbreaking process, why should there be kids allowed just to accommodate a few. Life isn't fair, which is why SG has a business in the first place, so you can turn the argument back around on the posters who say it's life to see kids everywhere you go, but it is also life to have kids not be allowed certain places. You can't please everyone, I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without? It may not be easy, and you may not have wanted to tell your friend, family member or sitter why you need them to watch you child, but you CAN get a sitter, it just might take some creativity. Then, everyone wins.

[Anonymous]

I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

[Anonymous]

Learn to find a new clinic with a different policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

Spoke by someone without primary IF- I gather your lack of empathy translates beyond IF.. a peach..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Stress has absolutely been shown to be one huge reason for infertility in many women. This study is in Pulling Down the Moon, the acupuncture place across the hall from SG. It's also in SG's binder in their office. If it's not there, ask for that study to be shown to you. Please give me the link of the study you cite. I'd like to evaluate it.

Here you go:

http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/den491v1

This study says, "In a multicentre prospective cohort study, we assessed anxiety and depression at baseline and the procedural anxiety level one day before oocyte retrieval." Does this mean they only looked at a woman's anxiety and depression level only ONE DAY BEFORE EGG RETRIEVAL? If that's the case, that's just plain stupid research. Stress, anxiety, depression longterm has far more devastating consequences. One days' worth of measuring stress and anxiety won't tell you anything. And primary infertility of two or more years I bet has a greater effect on not just psychological health, but also on fertility and overall health.
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/features/infertility-stress?page=3

And the same OXford Journal you quoted also published a completely contradictory result just a few years earlier here:
http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/21/7/1651 And in this article they distinguish between short term and long term stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

Spoke by someone without primary IF- I gather your lack of empathy translates beyond IF.. a peach..

Ask before you comment. No, I was a primary IF patient for some time. I had to undergo numerous procedures to have DS. The difference between me and another primary IF patient is that I got some wonderful therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Learn to find a new clinic with a different policy.

Your problem will torment you. Our problem does not. Better to fix your problem with a better, longer-lasting solution, no?

[Anonymous]

I've been trying to avoid jumping into the fray on this one, but here goes. People are at there most vulnerable at the RE office. Just imagine someone seeing you with your child immediately after leaving the appointment where they and their RE conclude that they should no longer try to become pregnant. Or the appointment where they find out that there is no heart beat or that they have an ectopic pregnancy. And then ask yourself if your convenience is more important. Yes, babies are everywhere - but these women (and men) are at a point when all they want to do (probably) is crawl into bed and first they have to walk past your child. And you are being so self-righteous about your "right" to bring your child into a doctor's office. I would give my right arm to have your problems of finding a sitter on short notice or asking a friend to escort you home while DH watches your child. I say this as someone going to a clinic that does not share SG's policy (but that I wish did).

[Anonymous]

And pls don't tell me I need a therapist - I am usually OK with seeing kids. It's just that I worry about facing one 30 seconds after getting the most devistating news of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

Spoke by someone without primary IF- I gather your lack of empathy translates beyond IF.. a peach..

Ask before you comment. No, I was a primary IF patient for some time. I had to undergo numerous procedures to have DS. The difference between me and another primary IF patient is that I got some wonderful therapy.

I think your therapist forgot to treat your primary problems: narcissism and being a mean person. Plus you make me laugh: you'll leave your child in daycare all day, but not for the hour when he/she is not allowed to be with you.

You are a horrible person. Try calling that therapist back to see if he/she might treat you again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been trying to avoid jumping into the fray on this one, but here goes. People are at there most vulnerable at the RE office. Just imagine someone seeing you with your child immediately after leaving the appointment where they and their RE conclude that they should no longer try to become pregnant. Or the appointment where they find out that there is no heart beat or that they have an ectopic pregnancy. And then ask yourself if your convenience is more important. Yes, babies are everywhere - but these women (and men) are at a point when all they want to do (probably) is crawl into bed and first they have to walk past your child. And you are being so self-righteous about your "right" to bring your child into a doctor's office. I would give my right arm to have your problems of finding a sitter on short notice or asking a friend to escort you home while DH watches your child. I say this as someone going to a clinic that does not share SG's policy (but that I wish did).

I'm the OP. What I said was what about a family waiting room? SG has two huge floors all to themselves. Can't they allocate one small conference room for families with small children and ask people to come through their back door to get to it? I do understand your pain. I've been in your place before. But why object to a family waiting room? Isnt' that a compromise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[/quote wrote:

I think your therapist forgot to treat your primary problems: narcissism and being a mean person. Plus you make me laugh: you'll leave your child in daycare all day, but not for the hour when he/she is not allowed to be with you.

You are a horrible person. Try calling that therapist back to see if he/she might treat you again.

Why is my desire to bring my kid to a family waiting room for early morning ER appts narcisstic and mean but your desire to institute a flat out ban on all children at the largest fertility clinic here because of your emotionalism not narcissistic? I merely want to ensure my child is not unduly stressed. How is that narcissistic but your insistence to ban all children not?

Also, read the post again. I don't use daycare and never have. What I said was that I especially would not put DS in daycare at such an early hour.

[Anonymous]

What in the heck does "kvetching" mean? Is that in the Websters or Oxford dictionary? Gotta look that one up.

[Anonymous]

I am amiss as to why those with kids (and I am one of them now) overridde the needs of those without?

To answer this question - because the problem is with those who are feeling so much anguish that they can not cope. So the solution, practically speaking, is to fix the problem by getting therapy so they can cope better.

Heck, I will not allow my young DS to remain cooped up in a car for two or so hours waiting for me to get done with my ER. I tell my husband to come on upstairs and to bring DS along too and I don't care what the nurse says. When the nurse says to me that children are not allowed I tell her then she better let me take the elevator by myself, still suffering from the effects of the anesthesia because my husband is with my DS who is too young to be left alone in the car or downstairs. SG does not want to assume the liability of me walking alone still groggy from anesthesia so they are compelled to let my husband come upstairs with DS. Sorry if the presence of DS hurts others, but our children are a greater priority than your anguish. And no, it is definitely not easy to get a babysitter or nanny of any kind at 6:30 am on short notice. I refuse to leave my DS in a daycare at that early hour either.

Honestly, I can not believe the unbelievable demands women can make on others because their own personal issues. Learn to cope with your anguish I say.

All I can say is wow. I can't believe how obnoxious and just flat out horrible you are.

[Anonymous]

OMG!!! Can't you just get a sitter? Seriously?!!! What's the big deal of having a sitter while you have an ER or ET? The monitoring appointments you can go alone. What am I missing?