God I hate the ex wife

[Anonymous]

OP I think you're hearing from a lot of bitter ex's here.

Keep doing what you're doing. Kids need stuff when they are with you, too right? Haircuts, whatever. As for the prom dress, let her know how much you are willing to contribute. Mom can add whatever she wants to that, and there's the prom dress budget unless sdd can add some funds of her own. Follow that plan with all other optional but big expenses.

The lice shampoo and things like that are petty. Those are just expenses related to having kids. They need the stuff when they are with you (yes, sometimes because mom didn't take care of it) so you pay. The kids need you guys to step up when she doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am so sorry that the women on here are attacking you. TX is a lot less then DC. 1500 a month is enough. I dated a guy before I got married. His ex sounds like the one you are dealing with. Many women have a hard time believing that a biological mother can do a shitty job of taking care of kids and sliding on her part of the finances. I understand your frustration. I would defiantly document all of it! The not tell you about the lice, the money owed. You could take her to court. Could you take her back for custody? Would the kids rather live with you guys? You sound like a great step mom. I think the kids will probably see the difference between her parenting and yours and know all that you are doing for them. Make sure the money that you are setting aside for college can only be used by them. For the extras like soccer and prom and whatever. I would give the kid the money and say that the money is for half of what they want and that they are to ask her for the other half. "Sue here is $60 for half of soccer, please ask your mom for the other half." This way the kid realizes that its their mom that is actually saying no because she won't pay %50. Good Luck.

Thanks for the laugh. You are honestly suggesting she take her to court over a bottle of lice shampoo? I work in family and let me just say you are the kind of idiotic client we just love. Costing themselves hundreds or more likely thousands of dollars over an issue that costs less than $150. And earnestly believing that the judge will fully take your side and punish the other. Gotta love people who act like they're toddlers who never got taught how to share, and the court system is a kindly kindergarten teacher. Oh, how funny it is to watch these types learn the truth...

No I am not suggesting for a bottle of shampoo. If the mom is NOT taking care of the kids, like not getting them help for lice or a bacterial infection or whatever. What is in the best interest of the kids?? Who has their interest at heart? The bio mom sounds like a deadbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am so sorry that the women on here are attacking you. TX is a lot less then DC. 1500 a month is enough. I dated a guy before I got married. His ex sounds like the one you are dealing with. Many women have a hard time believing that a biological mother can do a shitty job of taking care of kids and sliding on her part of the finances. I understand your frustration. I would defiantly document all of it! The not tell you about the lice, the money owed. You could take her to court. Could you take her back for custody? Would the kids rather live with you guys? You sound like a great step mom. I think the kids will probably see the difference between her parenting and yours and know all that you are doing for them. Make sure the money that you are setting aside for college can only be used by them. For the extras like soccer and prom and whatever. I would give the kid the money and say that the money is for half of what they want and that they are to ask her for the other half. "Sue here is $60 for half of soccer, please ask your mom for the other half." This way the kid realizes that its their mom that is actually saying no because she won't pay %50. Good Luck.

Thanks for the laugh. You are honestly suggesting she take her to court over a bottle of lice shampoo? I work in family and let me just say you are the kind of idiotic client we just love. Costing themselves hundreds or more likely thousands of dollars over an issue that costs less than $150. And earnestly believing that the judge will fully take your side and punish the other. Gotta love people who act like they're toddlers who never got taught how to share, and the court system is a kindly kindergarten teacher. Oh, how funny it is to watch these types learn the truth...

No I am not suggesting for a bottle of shampoo. If the mom is NOT taking care of the kids, like not getting them help for lice or a bacterial infection or whatever. What is in the best interest of the kids?? Who has their interest at heart? The bio mom sounds like a deadbeat.

Or maybe the bio mom was inundated with the tasks of being a single mom and noticed lice right before the daughter left (since lice spreads quickly I'm guessing the girl didnt have it long or everyone in the family would have had it), and figured that since they were leaving to be with dad, he could take care of it, which is called.... drumroll please... COPARENTING. No, it is not up to bio mom to do everything, and I guarantee you that the court system wont think that unlike some of the bozos on here.

[Anonymous]

"You know, that has to be one of the smallest perks I've heard of. These kids have to deal with the emotional wreckage of divorce, and a teensy benefit they get is that they have iPads and such (like most normal children in the US). You have admitted you are doing well, so why would you even think of causing an issue for the ex wife, who is now functioning as a single mom? I implore you (and I'm sure you will like this option much less than the sycophantic ones) to put yourself in her shoes and think of how you would respond if your husband decides one day to leave you, and you will have to raise your child with him on your own? Do you really, genuinely think that $500 a month would be enough? Especially for a teenager, who is going to innately be status conscious and have a lot going on?"

I think if dad is spending 500 per mo on kid and mom is spending 500 per mo on kid, on expenses that do not include her housing, medical expenses, or extra curricular activites, she is probably ok. Also I have given really honest answers the whole time. Also I am not sure why you think the grand plan is to undermine the mom. There's been no talk of amending support, cutting back etc. The whole issue is that I am upset she doesn't pay us what she is legally supposed to. No one is losing their soccer lessons or what have you. To the person who is ENRAGED about the lice shampoo, sorry you misunderstood. The mom bought the Walmart lice shampoo. I took DSD to the salon for the $120 professional treatment. I am upset bc the ex was too cheap to take care of it properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.

Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...

A I missing something. The average cost to raise one child is approximately 245k. OPs husband is spending less than that in contribution to raise three kids. That 240k number OP cited ( 20*2)(40*18) is for three kids, not one kid. OPs calculation equals the cost contribution for one child. Therefore, he is not paying nearly enough to meet the national average for three kids.

No, you are not missing something. You are exactly right. But I do think you may be lost- this thread is only for nimrods who believe that raising a child costs pennies and Bio moms are evil and spend all the child support money on hair extensions and booze.

[Anonymous]

She did not tell the dad that the kid had lice. What is that called, drumroll please... a bitch or her head is up her ass. The ex should have thought about a new mom replacing her when they got the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Did you consider it was her first experience with lice and she thought the shampoo would do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You know, that has to be one of the smallest perks I've heard of. These kids have to deal with the emotional wreckage of divorce, and a teensy benefit they get is that they have iPads and such (like most normal children in the US). You have admitted you are doing well, so why would you even think of causing an issue for the ex wife, who is now functioning as a single mom? I implore you (and I'm sure you will like this option much less than the sycophantic ones) to put yourself in her shoes and think of how you would respond if your husband decides one day to leave you, and you will have to raise your child with him on your own? Do you really, genuinely think that $500 a month would be enough? Especially for a teenager, who is going to innately be status conscious and have a lot going on?"

I think if dad is spending 500 per mo on kid and mom is spending 500 per mo on kid, on expenses that do not include her housing, medical expenses, or extra curricular activites, she is probably ok. Also I have given really honest answers the whole time. Also I am not sure why you think the grand plan is to undermine the mom. There's been no talk of amending support, cutting back etc. The whole issue is that I am upset she doesn't pay us what she is legally supposed to. No one is losing their soccer lessons or what have you. To the person who is ENRAGED about the lice shampoo, sorry you misunderstood. The mom bought the Walmart lice shampoo. I took DSD to the salon for the $120 professional treatment. I am upset bc the ex was too cheap to take care of it properly.

Too cheap? I hope she comes after you for an increase. You are a class 1 cow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You know, that has to be one of the smallest perks I've heard of. These kids have to deal with the emotional wreckage of divorce, and a teensy benefit they get is that they have iPads and such (like most normal children in the US). You have admitted you are doing well, so why would you even think of causing an issue for the ex wife, who is now functioning as a single mom? I implore you (and I'm sure you will like this option much less than the sycophantic ones) to put yourself in her shoes and think of how you would respond if your husband decides one day to leave you, and you will have to raise your child with him on your own? Do you really, genuinely think that $500 a month would be enough? Especially for a teenager, who is going to innately be status conscious and have a lot going on?"

I think if dad is spending 500 per mo on kid and mom is spending 500 per mo on kid, on expenses that do not include her housing, medical expenses, or extra curricular activites, she is probably ok. Also I have given really honest answers the whole time. Also I am not sure why you think the grand plan is to undermine the mom. There's been no talk of amending support, cutting back etc. The whole issue is that I am upset she doesn't pay us what she is legally supposed to. No one is losing their soccer lessons or what have you. To the person who is ENRAGED about the lice shampoo, sorry you misunderstood. The mom bought the Walmart lice shampoo. I took DSD to the salon for the $120 professional treatment. I am upset bc the ex was too cheap to take care of it properly.

And you are bitching over $150? Seriously? That is just MIND BLOWING to me. I'm sure if the mother had paid the $120 and asked to be paid back, which is what you seem to want, you would be raising holy hell over it and complaining about how much you have to pay her. And I'm guessing, if she is anything like the majority of mothers, that these kind of contingencies and unexpected expenses come up ALL THE TIME for her and you dont hear about them. This one just so happened to take place right before you took the kids so she let you deal with it, which seems fairly reasonable to me. Little did she know this would cause an absolutely shitstorm from your side. You act like you are Norma Rae and she is an evil factory owner. YOU are not a victim for paying for a lice treatment. It's called being a parent. Get. Over. It.

[Anonymous]

OP, we got rid of lice with over the counter shampoo. $120 treatments aren't always necessary. Faster and more convenient yes.. but not always necessary and maybe not something bio mom can afford. I'm with you on a lot of your complaints but not that one. Many, many people get rid of lice without a $120 salon treatment. That was your choice.

Nowhere have you suggested amending support or anything like that. Mom needs to step it up in the parenting department. Maybe she did just notice the lice but a heads up text would have sufficed. "Just noticed the lice are back.. she'll need another round of treatment."

From the sounds of things bio mom isn't really co-parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She did not tell the dad that the kid had lice. What is that called, drumroll please... a bitch or her head is up her ass. The ex should have thought about a new mom replacing her when they got the divorce.

You sound like a real peach- excuse me, a real bitch, in your words. love the internalized misogyny of your statement, and the punishing of this woman for getting a divorce. What are you, some nun from the 1800s?

[Anonymous]

You sound like a real peach- excuse me, a real bitch, in your words. love the internalized misogyny of your statement, and the punishing of this woman for getting a divorce. What are you, some nun from the 1800s?

Nope. If we say the new wife should have thought about marring a man with kids than we can say that the ex should have thought about things before she they got the divorce. I am a peach!! Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.

Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...

A I missing something. The average cost to raise one child is approximately 245k. OPs husband is spending less than that in contribution to raise three kids. That 240k number OP cited ( 20*2)(40*18) is for three kids, not one kid. OPs calculation equals the cost contribution for one child. Therefore, he is not paying nearly enough to meet the national average for three kids.

40,000 times 18 is $720,000. Divided by three it is $240,000. So it is $240,000 per kid. But as previously noted, this does not take into account the money both parents spend on their respective mortgages, healthcare, and extras.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Yes it is misogyny for women like you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You sound like a real peach- excuse me, a real bitch, in your words. love the internalized misogyny of your statement, and the punishing of this woman for getting a divorce. What are you, some nun from the 1800s?

Nope. If we say the new wife should have thought about marring a man with kids than we can say that the ex should have thought about things before she they got the divorce. I am a peach!! Thank you!

Did you read that correction dear? I called you a bitch! Well I certainly hope your husband never physically abuses you or emotionally abuses you or just drastically changes from the person you married. We clearly know your stance on things and we wouldnt want you to violate that or do anything that wouldnt be acceptable in the 1800s, dear. On that note, you should consider giving up your washing machine and other modern conveniences. They seem to really conflict with your mindset!