My new playgroup drinks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the original post is real. Would someone really post this using their child's name, as in "I took Ava to playgroup"? I'd be surprised.

OP here. My name is Laura, and yes, my daughter is Ava. We live in the District. I cannot believe the swift response taken to this thread, especially the high spirited and nearly comical responses I've read since I last posted this morning. WOW!

I think I'm going to stick with the group. I'll keep you posted on my next experience. Who knows, the next hostess might serve absinthe -- unless she reads this website and serves yummy DC tap water instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I responded earlier that I thought it was normal. But maybe that's just in the city. My crowd all takes public transportation or taxis, so I hadn't even thought that the martini-moms would be driving their kids home. I guess it's different in the 'burbs where everyone is dependent on their cars.

You're right. We don't drink in the suburbs. We also don't walk, or have public transportation either. For a city girl, you sure are clueless!

Bitchy! I was admitting that I hadn't really thought about the OP's situation, that I was applying my own standard to her question. And in my life, drinks with the playgroup moms is normal, and fun, and safe, because none of my group drives.

And yeah, I am clueless about the suburbs. It's not a character flaw, unlike unprovoked anonymous sarcastic sniping.

What part of the district do YOU live in? I've never been to playgroups where martini's were served and i have ONE friend who has had a glass of wine with me in the afternoon. Also, a lot of moms I know who live in the district still drive cars, even if we live within a half mile of each other, people still often drive, especially when it is very cold, very hot, or very rainy. I'm not interested in shlepping my huge double stroller all over the packed metro.

You paint a strange picture.

It is not normal to serve martini's at playgroup. My DH does not drink durning his work day and neither do I. I'm not a puritan, it is just not something I/we do in the middle of the day, although from time to time to have a glass of wine sounds devine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I responded earlier that I thought it was normal. But maybe that's just in the city. My crowd all takes public transportation or taxis, so I hadn't even thought that the martini-moms would be driving their kids home. I guess it's different in the 'burbs where everyone is dependent on their cars.

Wow, you consider DC a "city?" That's weird.

[Anonymous]

I LOVE that people run around, with total conviction, talking about what is NORMAL and what ISN'T NORMAL. Just because it doesn't happen at your play groups, or simply because you have never experienced something, you get to decided that it's DEFINITELY not normal. You have no real idea what is going on this play date. Why do people define normal behavior based on their limited experiences?

A couple drinks in the afternoon, amongst friends, and in the presence of your child does not sound FUCKED UP as someone posted. Plenty of working people have a drink with their lunch and until recently in American history this was quite customary. People had after dinner drinks and cocktails after work. In MANY MANY other countries, not just European countries, people have drinks in the afternoon with lunch.

Its funny that so many posters say they are okay with a glass of wine or a beer once every few weeks or when the kids are asleep but a cocktail in the afternoon is just insane. This is so arbitrary! If people aren't drunk and aren't driving--get over it. This is such a puritanical take on things.

It may be different from what you have experienced but it doesn't make all these moms, bad mommies who complain about their nannies and drive home drunk talking on the phone and slamming into other kids and ending up in the ER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I responded earlier that I thought it was normal. But maybe that's just in the city. My crowd all takes public transportation or taxis, so I hadn't even thought that the martini-moms would be driving their kids home. I guess it's different in the 'burbs where everyone is dependent on their cars.

Wow, you consider DC a "city?" That's weird.

Maybe if you weren't such a bitch, NYC wouldn't have sent you into exile in the provinces with us hicks.

Oh, crap-- I hear my butter churn overflowing. Pig must have knocked it over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I responded earlier that I thought it was normal. But maybe that's just in the city. My crowd all takes public transportation or taxis, so I hadn't even thought that the martini-moms would be driving their kids home. I guess it's different in the 'burbs where everyone is dependent on their cars.

Wow, you consider DC a "city?" That's weird.

Wow, you consider your post "useful"? That's sad.

[Anonymous]

WTF is wrong with some of you people? One drink-or even two- does not mean someone is an alcoholic or a horrible, uncaring parent. It doesn't not even necessarily mean that person is drunk (something based on various factors: what is being consumed, body weight, time period over consumption, etc.) I didn't realize DC was comprised of so many sanctimonious teetotalers!!!! How precious!

Listen, you don't want to drink? Fine. Don't drink. If I and my friends want to have a drink in the late afternoon, mind your own F'ing business.

I'm a responsible mother who takes very good care of her child. I don't need a bunch of Pollyanna's lecturing me on what I can responsibly drink. I know my tolerances and I do not drive while I am drunk.

Growing up in an Italian/Irish family, there was ALWAYS alcohol around. Always. Not in large amounts with aunts, uncles, dads getting sloshed, but for dinner, BBQs, happy hours, whatever. Not one alcoholic in my family. And, I'm not scarred for life.

[Anonymous]

BTW, I love you 22:54. Very well said.

[Anonymous]

Ahhhh, I love the defense of the Italian/Irish family...b/c your background REALLY changes how your body metabolizes alcohol...argh. That is the oldest one in the book. Where are my Polish folks? Russians? Come on, defend your drinking!!! Your grandparents punted themselves off of their carts, you can too! You can HANDLE it b/c you are a O'Malley? Jesus...

In all seriousness, I think it is FINE to drink in front of kids. If you are in control of yourself and you are not drinking to escape, cope, depress, forget, etc., drink away (safely). It has nothing to do with geography or anything else. It has to do with coping OR not. I DO question those who go to great lengths to defend their downing of martinis...when you get that defensive...hmmm. Methinks you doth protest too much? (Or Shakespeare said something like that. I am sure someone will jump up and correct the quote, tout suite).

[Anonymous]

I'd love to join one like this. Most playgroups are so dull, with everyone trying to out "perfect mom" each other....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF is wrong with some of you people? One drink-or even two- does not mean someone is an alcoholic or a horrible, uncaring parent. It doesn't not even necessarily mean that person is drunk (something based on various factors: what is being consumed, body weight, time period over consumption, etc.) I didn't realize DC was comprised of so many sanctimonious teetotalers!!!! How precious!

Listen, you don't want to drink? Fine. Don't drink. If I and my friends want to have a drink in the late afternoon, mind your own F'ing business.

I'm a responsible mother who takes very good care of her child. I don't need a bunch of Pollyanna's lecturing me on what I can responsibly drink. I know my tolerances and I do not drive while I am drunk.

Growing up in an Italian/Irish family, there was ALWAYS alcohol around. Always. Not in large amounts with aunts, uncles, dads getting sloshed, but for dinner, BBQs, happy hours, whatever. Not one alcoholic in my family. And, I'm not scarred for life.

I couldn't agree with you more.

I lived in Europe growing up and there was always wine with dinner/cocktails for adults, etc. No messy drunks that I ever recall. My parents continued the tradition when we returned "State-side" and I think I have grown up with a healthy attitude toward alcohol. Now, my husband and I will have wine with dinner (not every night--weekends mostly) or cocktails in summer and I think nothing of exposing my kids to this.

I see nothing wrong with the playgroup cocktails. That said, if there was a mom there who was obviously getting sloshed--and then driving her kids home, I would figure out a way to get them home safely. And, if it became a weekly event for someone to be hammered, I might reach out to the other moms and suggest a drying out, since that person might have an issue they are self-medicating. But, other than that, I say "cheers."

Those that tend make it into so sort of taboo end up creating more problems, at least from what I have seen at boarding school, and college.

[Anonymous]

" Ahhhh, I love the defense of the Italian/Irish family...b/c your background REALLY changes how your body metabolizes alcohol...argh. That is the oldest one in the book. Where are my Polish folks? Russians? Come on, defend your drinking!!! Your grandparents punted themselves off of their carts, you can too! You can HANDLE it b/c you are a O'Malley? Jesus..."

Um, I didnt' say b/c I was Irish/Italian that I metabolized alcohol faster or that I could handle alcohol better than anyone else. I'm using my experience as an example. My particular family had -while growing up- many who were fresh off the boat. They stuck closely to their traditions in some ways. For ex, all funerals on the Irish side ended with shots of Irish whisky and a toast among the adults. The Italian side had wine with most meals. We, children, were present to witness this -apparently in some folks' view- abomination. It was No. Big. Deal.

My circumstances exposed me to alcohol growing up and I lived to have a healthy attitude toward it. I can enjoy a glass of wine w/o finishing off the bottle. Yes, even in front of the children. They won't be scarred.

[Anonymous]

Just one comment - this thread is highly entertaining btw - I would wonder how strong the martinis actually were. Most of my girlier friends prefer pretty drinks that taste yummy in fancy glasses with a garnish, and they might not even contain vodka or gin, just fruity liquor. Not exactly the same as 2 shots of vodka and some vermount and a splash of olive juice.
If they do drink real martinis, it seems very 1950's...how fun! Some days you just need a stiff drink. And then a nap

[Anonymous]

This parenting book addresses the issue thoroughly:

http://www.psychobabyonline.com/site/psychobaby/productdetail.exc?cmd=view_prod&isApp=true&page=1&co_id=533&item_id=62094&prod_id=268

[Anonymous]

you can mask your guilt with any excuses, drunk moms...

it's a bad example.

your children are growing up in US and here drinking is taking very seriously by the authorities.

this excuse of your background or ridding the cab back home won't make the judge think you're a nice mom.