DD's teacher won't call her by her nickname

[Anonymous]

OP, another teacher here. I would wait a bit to see how things shake out. It always takes me a few weeks to get the names stuck in my head. This year I have a Ben and a Sam who look nothing alike and I cannot keep them straight. In a few weeks, I will know them better and this won't be a problem. The Isabella/Bella problem is going to be the Kaitlin/Katelyn/Catelynn/Caitlin problem of the late 90's. Man, am I happy those days are over.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you just NAME her Bella? I hate when people do this: Well, his name IS X, but we're going to CALL him Y. WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:have your dd come up with a funny nickname for the teacher and only use that until she gets it right.

The difference is that the teacher is not using a nickname, she is using a name the student's parents gave her willingly. If 'Isabella' makes up a name for the teacher, that would be a nickname and not the name the teacher's parents gave her.

Look, I have a compound name, derived from my grandmothers' names mixed into one- think 'Mary Anne.' That's my formal name, and only teachers ever called me that. Everyone else called me 'Mary.' I'm not unsympathetic to 'Isabella's' issue, but that's what happens when your parents give you a name they decide to shorten later- you live with it. It's not always going to go your way. I'm in grad school, and still get called 'Mary Anne' only at school. Guess what- I'm still alive! It's not so bad!

The world is not obliged to accommodate your whimsy in changing the terms. Change her name legally, or stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

There's never a bad time to revive this article, but particularly apropos to this thread:

http://www.politico.com/blogs/anneschroeder/0609/No_namecalling.html

Call me Elizabeth!!

But seriously, I just find it rude and odd to repeatedly refuse to call someone by the name they would like. Maybe it's silly for someone to give a person a legal name that differs from what they intend to call them, but who cares? Just call people by the name they prefer, why is this hard or an issue? And if I want to name my kid "Mike" and spell it "XYKM", what statement are you making by insisting on calling him "zykim" instead of Mike? Sure, it's dumb of me to decide to spell it that way, but why hurt the kid? (Actually, not saying OP is dumb. The fact that in this case it's a teacher refusing to use a preferred nickname is ridiculous. Almost, though not quite, as ridiculous as someone insisting on using a nickname that a person doesn't answer to.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is Bella. Yes, her legal name is Isabella, but we have never called her that and she has always gone by Bella. If someone yells "Isabella" she doesn't even think to turn around. When we filled out the forms for school we wrote "Bella" under preferred nickname.

We've trained DD to say "I prefer to be called Bella" each time her teacher calls her Isabella and we sent a note requesting that she respect Bella's desire to be called by the name everyone has called her for her entire life. Where do we go with this? It's making her hate her teacher, though I know she loves learning.

Bella reminds me of the actor Bella Lugosi. He was the original Dracula. Thank the teacher.

[Anonymous]

It's the teachers preference her name is Isabella

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is Bella. Yes, her legal name is Isabella, but we have never called her that and she has always gone by Bella. If someone yells "Isabella" she doesn't even think to turn around. When we filled out the forms for school we wrote "Bella" under preferred nickname.

We've trained DD to say "I prefer to be called Bella" each time her teacher calls her Isabella and we sent a note requesting that she respect Bella's desire to be called by the name everyone has called her for her entire life. Where do we go with this? It's making her hate her teacher, though I know she loves learning.

Bella reminds me of the actor Bella Lugosi. He was the original Dracula. Thank the teacher.

Wow. You mean BELA Lugosi. Too bad you can't thank a teacher for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the teachers preference her name is Isabella

Why on earth would it be a teacher's preference to decide what the name of one of his/her students is? Is a teacher also allowed to decide, "You don't really strike me as a Cheryl. I'm going to call you Carla instead since I prefer it for you"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the teachers preference her name is Isabella

Why on earth would it be a teacher's preference to decide what the name of one of his/her students is? Is a teacher also allowed to decide, "You don't really strike me as a Cheryl. I'm going to call you Carla instead since I prefer it for you"?

If she has an issue she can legally change her name and then if the teacher continues she might have a legal case to try and get her switched to a new class for discrimination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the teachers preference her name is Isabella

Why on earth would it be a teacher's preference to decide what the name of one of his/her students is? Is a teacher also allowed to decide, "You don't really strike me as a Cheryl. I'm going to call you Carla instead since I prefer it for you"?

I'm a multi-PP. This is precisely the point though- the child is listed as Isabella on her roster. The teacher is not deciding her name. What if the child preferred Isabella and the teacher decided to call her Bella? It doesn't work both ways. If she's listed as Isabella, the teacher can call her Isabella.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the teachers preference her name is Isabella

Why on earth would it be a teacher's preference to decide what the name of one of his/her students is? Is a teacher also allowed to decide, "You don't really strike me as a Cheryl. I'm going to call you Carla instead since I prefer it for you"?

I'm a multi-PP. This is precisely the point though- the child is listed as Isabella on her roster. The teacher is not deciding her name. What if the child preferred Isabella and the teacher decided to call her Bella? It doesn't work both ways. If she's listed as Isabella, the teacher can call her Isabella.

She's listed as (isa)Bella.

[Anonymous]

At least she doesn't call her "mi hija" which my dd's old teacher did. Never her name, just "mi hija". She also used to tell my husband that she dd her favorite and considered her "my daughter" when we weren't there.

That, I found creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the teachers preference her name is Isabella

Why on earth would it be a teacher's preference to decide what the name of one of his/her students is? Is a teacher also allowed to decide, "You don't really strike me as a Cheryl. I'm going to call you Carla instead since I prefer it for you"?

I'm a multi-PP. This is precisely the point though- the child is listed as Isabella on her roster. The teacher is not deciding her name. What if the child preferred Isabella and the teacher decided to call her Bella? It doesn't work both ways. If she's listed as Isabella, the teacher can call her Isabella.

Seriously, why does the roster trump the daughter just saying what she prefers to be called (backed up by her mom)? Do you have friends or coworkers whose legal name is Timothy that you refuse to call Tim, because Timothy's what's in the phone book or on their business card? Why is it so hard to understand that it's a common courtesy to address people in the way they prefer to be addressed...even if it's a child?! Now, it may be the case that the teacher is just absent-minded...that's not entirely an excuse, but it's understandable. But PPs seem to be indicating that the teacher gets to decide what she prefers to call someone in spite of that person stating (repeatedly) a clear preferred alternative...in what other human interaction (aside from a one time telemarketer or legal interaction) is that acceptable?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher, but not a classroom teacher. Some of the kindergarten teachers at my school insist on calling students by their formal names, even though the students don't go by their formal names. Their reasoning is that the students need to know their first names and be able to spell it, read it, etc.

Let me say first that I don't agree with this and have had many conversations with them but they won't budge on their thinking. These are the teachers who should be thinking about retirement soon IMO (not just for that reason of course--but it's one example of how rigid thinking can inhibit relationship building with students).

It is more of a cultural thing with most of my students. In some cultures people have a first name, but actually go by their middle name. The kids are too shy (or don't speak enough English) to correct the teachers. Sometimes we don't know the name kids go by until a family member comes to pick them up and asks for "Samantha" and we know her as "Diana".

I do see a need to draw the line somewhere though. We had a student who would not respond to anything but "Godzilla King Kong" and another who would only say his name was "Giraffe." So there's that.

OP- maybe your child's teacher has the same views as some of the teachers at my school. Maybe tell the teacher that you plan to work with your daughter at home to make sure she can read and write her given name, but you don't plan to call her anything but Bella and you'd appreciate if she did too. Good luck!

So as a non classroom teacher you have no clue how hard it is to establish order in the room? You have to shut down the nicknames early on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So as a non classroom teacher you have no clue how hard it is to establish order in the room? You have to shut down the nicknames early on.

Nicknames cause disorder in the classroom? This will come as news to people I went to school with, named Mike, Dave, Jim, Bob, Bill, Chris, Tim, Tom, Jeff, Steve, Joe, Dan, Kim, Susie, Angie, Missy, Jenny, Patty, Beth, Christie, Pam, Cindy, and Sandy (among others).