My man introduced me to a guy i was previously intimate with. Help!

[Anonymous]

you could tell 'ted' that the bj's that he likes from you were honed by your practice.

good spin?

but seriously - why not tell him? I think if you are seriously dating someone and moving towards something permanent that getting everything out in the open is the best policy.

since when did this change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they'll talk to everyone, except Ted, about it.

Like "I was at a party where that girl that Ted is dating sucked 36 dicks in one night, lololol."

But they won't say it to Ted. They'll just joke about it with everyone else, except him.

That's how guys talk.

+1

[Anonymous]

Honesty is the best policy. My SO and I both have things in our part that neither of us is proud of, but why should we hide it? We're all human. OP, come clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you are asking us is, "how do I keep my boyfriend from finding out who I really am so that he will continue to love the person I have told him I am?" The answer is, you don't. While I agree that there is no reason why everyone needs to bring up every sexual encounter they have ever had in a relationship, this is not just you glossing over the details of your past. You are being actively deceptive about the person that you have been in the past. If you don't think he can handle finding out who you really are and continue to treat you with affection, grace, and respect, then he is not the guy for you. Those things that you did are a part of who you are. It may not be a part that you are proud of, or even a big part, but it is something that happened in your life and made you who you are. If he wants the right to love the woman that you have become, then he needs to be man enough to love the woman that you had to be to get here. If he can't handle the basic idea that you have had a past, then he needs to be with someone who has truly not had one, not someone who is going to spend the rest of her life lying if she has to. That is no way to build a life.

Wonderful in the land of sunshine and rainbows. In the real world, men can be insecure children who want to stick their head in the sand and believe that their women were pure as the driven snow the day they met.

I feel like a lot of these negative posts are from women who are bitter over there being a double standard regarding sexual mores. Most men are not that uptight about this stuff anymore; we have seen far crazier things on porn sites.

That being said, I have found that men from certain backgrounds, especially former frat boys have hypocritical attitudes towards women's sexuality. Since he works at a "firm" of some kind, I'm guessing that he may be from this sort of background. If that's the case, I'm not sure what to tell you because I can't personally relate to the conservative hypocrisy.

[Anonymous]

OP,
You've got a loose screw if you didn't think this story was going to get a rise out of folks. If I was dating a guy who'd gone down on multiple women this way, I'd want to vomit. It would be a deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

If I was dating or married to a guy who I found out went down on multiple women, I'd want to vomit too. But that's why I don't ask DH, and he doesn't offer the info up. I just enjoy his bedroom skills and we have a happy life.

OP, deny it if this comes up. He will say he wants to know but deep down he really doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting drunk and giving head to men you just met at a sporting event is now considered "intimate."

You have no morals and you are a bad person. You should feel ashamed of yourself. Being drunk is no excuse.

You have no idea if this true or not. If she sucked 1000 dicks in one night, you still wouldn't know. The only thing that you would know is that she did something that you don't approve of.

You are a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he blabs or tells anyone about that time I would be mortified especially if Ted finds out. So I don't know whether I should do anything like maybe tell Ted "something" or not. I'm scared and I think could really use some advice. I don't know if I'm imagining it or something but I think Ted has been acting different somehow this week.

This is why you don't blow rich, wealthy men upon meeting them at sporting events. But of course, since they were wealthy, you likely didn't bother to think this part through, did you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If he is going to dump you over this, adios!

Are you kidding? I'd be reassured to know my g/f doesn't have the propensity for blowing guys she just met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I"m not even really sure but it was more like 3 or 4

Even worse! You only blew "3 or 4 guys" just after meeting them! And the only thing you're sure of is it was more than one and less than five.

How reassuring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you are asking us is, "how do I keep my boyfriend from finding out who I really am so that he will continue to love the person I have told him I am?" The answer is, you don't. While I agree that there is no reason why everyone needs to bring up every sexual encounter they have ever had in a relationship, this is not just you glossing over the details of your past. You are being actively deceptive about the person that you have been in the past. If you don't think he can handle finding out who you really are and continue to treat you with affection, grace, and respect, then he is not the guy for you. Those things that you did are a part of who you are. It may not be a part that you are proud of, or even a big part, but it is something that happened in your life and made you who you are. If he wants the right to love the woman that you have become, then he needs to be man enough to love the woman that you had to be to get here. If he can't handle the basic idea that you have had a past, then he needs to be with someone who has truly not had one, not someone who is going to spend the rest of her life lying if she has to. That is no way to build a life.

BINGO. Simply put, she refuses to take responsibility for her behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A bit before I met Ted, a girlfriend and I went to a sporting event (can't give details). We met there some guys who invited us to join them in a corporate private box. Well we all got pretty "inebriated" and I guess inhibitions went away. My girlfriend and I ended up giving o r a l to some of the guys there.

Details, please. Was it a gang-bang type scenario? Or just multiple one-on-ones in different rooms and you guys swapped partners?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here....two thoughts....1) why have I never been to an event like this? And two, Who blows guys they just met? I want to know....Or is a corporate/Luxury suite required?

No shit. I miss all the fun stuff. Though I have been to plenty of Caps games in luxury boxes and no one's blown me upon meeting me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You probably would not have done this if you had not been drinking.

I always love when people erroneously blame alcohol for their poor decision making.

[Anonymous]

Lots of prissy, judgmental people here.

I thought DC was supposed to be liberal and open-minded.