My man introduced me to a guy i was previously intimate with. Help!

[Anonymous]

In general, I don't think that your partner is entitled to know sexual past, unless you've got STDs, or you are a registered sex offender, or something that directly affects them.

That being said, in this case, you blew several of his coworkers. If you have blown some guys during a trip to Spain, I'd say don't tell. But in this case, you might need to do it. But maybe tone down the gory details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A minority in this thread (like me) aren't saying the action of the OP is a big deal - the concealment is.

your comment would only be valid if "ted" or another guy in this situation posted saying 'i ran a train or whatever' and i don't want to tell my gf.

i'm not for telling everything to someone you are casually dating but if you are thinking about having a very long term relationship, then why not.

concealment doesn't help IMO.

The concealment and deflecting of responsibility are the biggest red flags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that many people have done some out of character eyebrow raising things once or twice, usually when they were young and in the moment (probably, but not always, intoxicated). That sort of thing happens and it is what it is.

Oh please. You don't go from 0 or 5 to 100 mph i.e. blowing multiple strangers you just met in the luxury box of a sports arena and neither never do it again nor get the speedometer up past 50 a few more times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh please. You don't go from 0 or 5 to 100 mph i.e. blowing multiple strangers you just met in the luxury box of a sports arena and neither never do it again nor get the speedometer up past 50 a few more times.

The total lack of self control is breathtaking.

[Anonymous]

HELLOOOOOOOOO - she said she was "out of her depth" at page 2. Yet we all went on with it!. She's a tween troll and we TRULY ALL got carried away!

THIS IS NOT REAL, PEOPLE!!! (unless of course you want it to be in Chevy Chase)

[Anonymous]

We have not heard from her since page 2. She blew her lollipop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that many people have done some out of character eyebrow raising things once or twice, usually when they were young and in the moment (probably, but not always, intoxicated). That sort of thing happens and it is what it is.

Oh please. You don't go from 0 or 5 to 100 mph i.e. blowing multiple strangers you just met in the luxury box of a sports arena and neither never do it again nor get the speedometer up past 50 a few more times.

Well no you don't. I never said that she went from blushing at holding hands to "taking care" of multiple men at the same time. But her behavior probably *usually* falls between the two extremes. The fact that she says she's embarrassed about this encounter indicates: she stepped way outside of her own comfort zone this one time, regrets having done so and will not likely ever do that again.

Some people are saying that Op is now the type who does that sort of thing at every opportunity. I don't think that's fair.

[Anonymous]

I've been off the board for a few days because well things are just not so good. When Ted said he wanted to chat we did and he asked me if I knew the guy he introduced me to. I said no and tried to be casual about things and asked him why he asked. He basically said that the guy mentioned that he had met me before. He also said it was at a certain sports event and Ted knows I went to that event. ALso the other guy jerk mentioned that I was there with my girlfriend and Ted knows her.

Anyway, I didn't want to open a can of worms so i was unsure about things but Ted didn't buy it. He didn't tell me anything else so I don't know if the jerk went into details or not. Ted has just been distant these past few days and I don't know what to do or how to behave or what to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been off the board for a few days because well things are just not so good. When Ted said he wanted to chat we did and he asked me if I knew the guy he introduced me to. I said no and tried to be casual about things and asked him why he asked. He basically said that the guy mentioned that he had met me before. He also said it was at a certain sports event and Ted knows I went to that event. ALso the other guy jerk mentioned that I was there with my girlfriend and Ted knows her.

Anyway, I didn't want to open a can of worms so i was unsure about things but Ted didn't buy it. He didn't tell me anything else so I don't know if the jerk went into details or not. Ted has just been distant these past few days and I don't know what to do or how to behave or what to say.

I am sorry, OP. Ted's being distant could be a sign that the guy told all. The fact that the guy remembered your girlfriend and all means Ted can verify stories.

What are you going to do?

[Anonymous]

I don't think the guy is a jerk for telling Ted. If I were Ted, I'd hope he'd clue me in too that the girl I was seeing was pulling trains at sporting events.

But keep your chin up. If you need a moral booster, I can arrange a hotel meeting where you can blow my friends and I. Bring that friend of yours too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been off the board for a few days because well things are just not so good. When Ted said he wanted to chat we did and he asked me if I knew the guy he introduced me to. I said no and tried to be casual about things and asked him why he asked. He basically said that the guy mentioned that he had met me before. He also said it was at a certain sports event and Ted knows I went to that event. ALso the other guy jerk mentioned that I was there with my girlfriend and Ted knows her.

Anyway, I didn't want to open a can of worms so i was unsure about things but Ted didn't buy it. He didn't tell me anything else so I don't know if the jerk went into details or not. Ted has just been distant these past few days and I don't know what to do or how to behave or what to say.

an early PP guy here - he knows or has a very strong feeling you (and your GF) were the girls in his friends' story/escapade. he gave you chance to come clean but you didn't step up. you're projecting your anger on his "jerk" friend - but that anger is misdirected, make no mistake about that.

I hate to say it but he's really thinking about your relationship - whether or not he can accept things. Your out-of-control night is now causing him to evaluate whether there is a darker (wilder) side to you he never saw or considered. From what you described, he's not the type of guy who would want to be a girl who partied hard (even if for one night but now there's real doubt in his mind).

You have a choice - to come clean (to a large degree) and let the chips fall where they may. Or try to continue hiding this and let his self doubt or his concern fester into something that will make a real relationship very unlikely.

it really sucks you have to face this OP, but the more you try to lie or hide the truth the worse it will be in the end. GL

[Anonymous]

Yup....you blew it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been off the board for a few days because well things are just not so good. When Ted said he wanted to chat we did and he asked me if I knew the guy he introduced me to. I said no and tried to be casual about things and asked him why he asked. He basically said that the guy mentioned that he had met me before. He also said it was at a certain sports event and Ted knows I went to that event. ALso the other guy jerk mentioned that I was there with my girlfriend and Ted knows her.

Anyway, I didn't want to open a can of worms so i was unsure about things but Ted didn't buy it. He didn't tell me anything else so I don't know if the jerk went into details or not. Ted has just been distant these past few days and I don't know what to do or how to behave or what to say.

an early PP guy here - he knows or has a very strong feeling you (and your GF) were the girls in his friends' story/escapade. he gave you chance to come clean but you didn't step up. you're projecting your anger on his "jerk" friend - but that anger is misdirected, make no mistake about that.

I hate to say it but he's really thinking about your relationship - whether or not he can accept things. Your out-of-control night is now causing him to evaluate whether there is a darker (wilder) side to you he never saw or considered. From what you described, he's not the type of guy who would want to be a girl who partied hard (even if for one night but now there's real doubt in his mind).

You have a choice - to come clean (to a large degree) and let the chips fall where they may. Or try to continue hiding this and let his self doubt or his concern fester into something that will make a real relationship very unlikely.

it really sucks you have to face this OP, but the more you try to lie or hide the truth the worse it will be in the end. GL

Good assessment.

[Anonymous]

If Ted ever finds out deny it and call the guy crazy. Deny it until you believe it. It will work, especially if was a one time thing a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

^^^oops. Nevermind. I see this is now impossible.