So I contacted my husband's Mistress

[Anonymous]

OP, this problem may resolve itself. It seems unlikely that a guy this self-centered would WANT shared custody other than the occasional visit. Being a single parent is a ton of work and he doesn't sound the type to be interested, especially since he hasn't been exactly hands-on up until now. And if (big IF) he stays with the mistress, chances are she'll want kids of her own anyway at some point.

It's a horrible situation and I'm so sorry for you and your baby. Best of luck, get a good lawyer, and lean on your friends and family for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, in 5 years you won't care who he stuck his prick in during your marriage. File and move on.

+1. Your marriage has not been good for awhile. Time to move on.

It was fine until this whore came along.

Did you catch that they were separated while she was pregnant?

I caught that OP was separated during the pregnancy. That is probably why the OW thought he was separated. He probably tried to make marriage work for child but couldn't do it and resumed with OW.

OP. did you have the baby to try to strengthen the marriage? Be honest please

[Anonymous]

I understand OP. I too believe that a man who cheats on his wife is NOT being a good father, because he is devoting time/energy elsewhere than on his family. I can understand not wanting such a person to have a role in raising a child.

That said, it's not how the courts see it. Period. End of story. If you want to hire a shark attorney, OP, and take him for as much money/support/alimony as you can, have at it. But trying to fight his involvement with your child will not be successful unless he's done more than what you've said here. If you try to suggest things that aren't true/substantiated, you're going to cause yourself more pain in the end, and you will end up becoming the justification that your ex tells himself, and eventually, will tell your kid, about why he had to cheat on you - see, Mommy really was vindictive, mean, etc.

You can't control what your ex did, so now you're trying to control the outcome of the situation - it's totally normal. It isn't, however, totally beneficial to your long-term interests to try to eliminate him from your child's life. The only thing you can control is yourself. Give up on the notion that you will get sole custody. Proceed from there.

[Anonymous]

So it is not illegal to contact your DH mestress

[Anonymous]

Based on OP's responses and reactions I am not surprised her husband had an affair.

[Anonymous]

This all sounds quite trashy. Who spends time talking to her husband's mistress but a reality show wannabe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This all sounds quite trashy. Who spends time talking to her husband's mistress but a reality show wannabe.

+1

And would a caring mother really take out her grievances against her husband by doing what she can to minimize her child's involvement with the father? Quite honesty, I feel bad for the child who definitely has a lousy mother and maybe has a lousy father.

A bad husband does not mean a bad father - no more than a bad wife is a bad mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, in 5 years you won't care who he stuck his prick in during your marriage. File and move on.

+1. Your marriage has not been good for awhile. Time to move on.

It was fine until this whore came along.

It's the WHORE!!! poster. Wouldn't be complete without you, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This all sounds quite trashy. Who spends time talking to her husband's mistress but a reality show wannabe.

+1

And would a caring mother really take out her grievances against her husband by doing what she can to minimize her child's involvement with the father? Quite honesty, I feel bad for the child who definitely has a lousy mother and maybe has a lousy father.

A bad husband does not mean a bad father - no more than a bad wife is a bad mother.

It's not to take it out on the STBX, it's to protect the child from him. Some day the pendulum will swing back the other way and people will realize that bad people do not make good parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This all sounds quite trashy. Who spends time talking to her husband's mistress but a reality show wannabe.

+1

And would a caring mother really take out her grievances against her husband by doing what she can to minimize her child's involvement with the father? Quite honesty, I feel bad for the child who definitely has a lousy mother and maybe has a lousy father.

A bad husband does not mean a bad father - no more than a bad wife is a bad mother.

It's not to take it out on the STBX, it's to protect the child from him. Some day the pendulum will swing back the other way and people will realize that bad people do not make good parents.

Nonsense! It is OP seeking vengeance on her husband. The good news is that the courts will not allow a parent to do this to another parent. Did you miss OP asking if forcing her husband out of the marital home could then be used as an abandonment claim?

OP's husband may be a piece of work ..... but there is no doubt in my mind that OP is one for sure.

[Anonymous]

Bad husbands can be good fathers. It doesn't matter if you hate one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bad husbands can be good fathers. It doesn't matter if you hate one another.

Of course they can be. They raise children to grow up to be liars and users with no sense or responsibility toward other human beings. Just what we need more of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This all sounds quite trashy. Who spends time talking to her husband's mistress but a reality show wannabe.

Not really ... She is being lied to also. It's good to get all the lies on the table.

[Anonymous]

Focus on being a good mom and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bad husbands can be good fathers. It doesn't matter if you hate one another.

Of course they can be. They raise children to grow up to be liars and users with no sense or responsibility toward other human beings. Just what we need more of.

OP does not come across as anything close to being a model mother ..... so if the father is the same way, I am really sorry for the kid.

What OP does not realize is that what is in her best interests and that of her child is to get on with her life and move on. Let her child develop a relationship with the father.