So I contacted my husband's Mistress

[Anonymous]

I don't know what kind of dream world you people are living in. Unless the OP has evidence of abuse or neglect, there are no grounds for denying custody. Infidelity is not relevant.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry your DH cheated on you, but there is no way to prevent him from having a relationship with his child.

And don't try to invent some abuse story. Im not saying that you were planning to, but some women do and judges usually see right through it.

[Anonymous]

It will be joint custody. OP, it sucks because you are right, it means half their time with with a parent with no integrity or character but that is just the way it is. Lots of women cheat too and also still get custody. It is just the way it is. Parents don't lose custody because they lack integrity. Courts don't care about the moral side of infidelity.

Check out survivinginfidelity.com Lots of others in your situation too, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she know he was married with a child?

She said she thought he was separated.

He is a sociopath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh well. She's not getting full custody.

The sad reality of affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But he had an affair. Spent thousands of dollars and was planning a life with this woman. It lasted a few years not months. How is he a fit father??

Are you OP? The court will not see it this way. Period.

If he wants joint custody, he WILL get it. No court will separate a competent father from his children.

The sooner you come to grips with this, the better. Assuming you want to divorce, the most important thing for you to focus on right now is MONEY. Forget your anger and disgust. Forget about fighting joint custody. You need to figure out how you will support yourself and work out how you both will contribute to the support of your child.

Yes I am Op. What if I kick him out? Can I claim abandonment?

[Anonymous]

You can't just act spiteful and vindictive, you must be spiteful and vindictive. In order to get what you want you must ignore ethics and abandon all compassion. Be the bitter ex...be the bitter ex...

[Anonymous]

You can't kick him out. He has equal right to be in the house. Just like he can't ask you to leave. If he moves out voluntarily - sometimes that can be held against him, sometimes not (if he argues it was in the best interest of everyone due to the tension in the home).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But he had an affair. Spent thousands of dollars and was planning a life with this woman. It lasted a few years not months. How is he a fit father??

Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

He certainly could get joint custody, but will he want it if it cramps his style? If you propose more than 50% physical custody, but less than 100%, and paint yourself as the primary caregiver to the court, he might cut his losses. If he pushes it, insist that holidays, doctor's appointments, and days off of work for daycare closings and illnesses be ironed out. A lot of men haven't thought this through, and when faced with the day to day reality, will fold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she know he was married with a child?

She said she thought he was separated.

He is a sociopath.

Nah, that is pretty much cheating 101.

[Anonymous]

Do NOT admit to hacking his email. Ask Jeff to delete this thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't just act spiteful and vindictive, you must be spiteful and vindictive. In order to get what you want you must ignore ethics and abandon all compassion. Be the bitter ex...be the bitter ex...

Pretty much. Note all the support she's getting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But he had an affair. Spent thousands of dollars and was planning a life with this woman. It lasted a few years not months. How is he a fit father??

Are you OP? The court will not see it this way. Period.

If he wants joint custody, he WILL get it. No court will separate a competent father from his children.

The sooner you come to grips with this, the better. Assuming you want to divorce, the most important thing for you to focus on right now is MONEY. Forget your anger and disgust. Forget about fighting joint custody. You need to figure out how you will support yourself and work out how you both will contribute to the support of your child.

Yes I am Op. What if I kick him out? Can I claim abandonment?

Um, no? You can't force someone to "abandon" you. If anything, HE'D have a better claim to abandonment. That rarely matters anymore anyway though, with no-fault divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do NOT admit to hacking his email. Ask Jeff to delete this thread!

Bwaha! What an asshole she is.