S/o How can you minimize the chance your kid will get into drugs in high school?
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Anonymous
I'm not going to flame you, but I will point out that high SES schools tend to have a lot of very busy parents and therefore kids who lack supervision after school. Those kids also have plenty of money to buy drugs, they tend to feel invulnerable and entitled, and their parents tend to bail them out of trouble. What you don't seem to understand is that a lot of low-SES minority and immigrant families - and you are clearly talking about race here - are very aware that they do not have the margin of error that higher-SES families do. They know they can't afford to screw up. And even if you're talking about low income gang bangers here, do you really think their pathologies are or ore dangerous to high SEs white kids than the pathologies of. . . high SES white families? Really? I'm shaking my head here. |
Anonymous
They are really kidding themselves. Yet I know people like this, and they think moving to Bethesda is going to keep their white kids away from low SES minorities and therefore off drugs and out of trouble. It's ridiculous. |
Anonymous
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So OP -
Minimize your chances by keeping the lines of communication open, and limit temptation. Furthermore, accept that everyone who smokes a joint doesn't end up on heroin, so be ready to accept some behavior you don't like. Kids with too much time, money, and access have more opportunities to be tempted. I am under no illusions that sports, study, and hobby will keep my son drug-free, but so far, so good. |
Anonymous
+1. And parents who look the other way when their kids have parties with alcohol. |
Anonymous
| PEP has excellent classes on parenting teens. |
Anonymous
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Just some practical advice/experience. My oldest is a freshman in dcps. Great kid, all A's, superstar athlete. She has made some mistakes-nothing too terrible, but enough. So here we are for right now:
* Very little unaccounted for time. She takes public transportation to and from school, so there is that transit time. * School is the absolute first priority. * She absolutely must check in with me to make any changes to her after school time. Sometimes I approve, sometimes not. * I am always willing to drop off/pick up from sanctioned activities and I am always on time/waiting. I am always happy to pick up/take friends home. * Cannot attend big parties (we all know what happens), ok to have small groups of people over our house, ok to go to known friends' houses if I have talked to an adult. * I have her password and do checks on her electronic convos (of course she most likely deletes everything immediately). * No sleepovers-a few friends very well known friends are welcome to stay over at our house-one at a time. But my kid sleeps at home. * Lots of contact with parents of friends. Meet for coffee, talk on the phone, attend school related events together. So the kids know that we are all talking to each other and collectively paying attention to them. This set up came after a period of total lockdown with no electronics after her big mistake. I still hate the cell phone-way too much inappropriate talk happening. Not sure what to do about that. I really feel like my kid has taken some comfort in the fact that her parameters are set. She still has an appropriate social life/time with friends. She has her sport life and she goes to movies, goes to Starbucks, goes shopping etc with friends but it is all with adult permission and within set time frames. Of course, she could still find time to make mistakes, she is a teenager. Too much freedom is never good for kids. I remember when mine were toddlers and how setting up solid routines just made them happier so they could relax and know what was expected. This is the teenage version of routine. They are still kids, they need to know where their decision making begins and ends. Mostly-we talk about her mistake and why she was playing with fire. She knows that we are her biggest advocates but that we also have the highest expectations. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks for all the feedback and great ideas.
I like the idea of a PEP class. I didn't know they had them to parent teens. I'm not expecting he never experiments. I don't want regular use. The kids in my neighborhood are so brazen about smoking pot, I see (and smell) them smoking outside on a fairly regular basis. I also know these are the kids with crappy grades. We have great communication now (he's a tween). I hope I can keep that up. We are in a W cluster. I grew up low income and know what that's all about wrt drug use. I was naively surprised to see so much drug use in a higher income neighborhood. And it's not the income so much as the overall culture here seems to all about the academics. People pick this neighborhood for the schools. I thought more family emphasis on academic achievement would mean less possibility for regular drug use. Shows you what I know. |
Anonymous
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I don't know.
I went to a top public high school (not DC) and many of my friends- who had averages in the 90s, extracurriculars, perfect on paper- smoked week, snorted ambien, did coke and more. E, acid. I smoked a lot but was never interested in the other stuff. I was also on a varsity sports team and involved in leadership positions in a school publication. I don't regret it. But I don't like when people smoke weed all the time. It shouldn't be a daily or even weekly thing. But I don't know how to prevent your kids from doing it. Many, many do- even the "good" ones. |
Anonymous
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Cut the bs you are all idiotic to think that ses doesn't mater.
http://www.ascd.org/publications/books/109074/chapters/How-Poverty-Affects-Behavior-and-Academic-Performance.aspx http://www.ascd.org/publications/books/109074/chapters/How-Poverty-Affects-Behavior-and-Academic-Performance.aspx |
Anonymous
http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/income-affect-teens-26697.html |
Anonymous
Those links have nothing to do with drug abuse. Of course ses "matters." It matters in many, may ways. But it just so happens that it doesn't mean you are more likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol. Thats the point of this thread and thats the point of the previous post somehow arguing that if your kids are around white, wealthy kids they won't use drugs. Please. Your money won't keep you safe. |
Anonymous
Again, an article about how income level affects school performance, health. I don't think there is anyone in the universe who would argue otherwise. But thats not the point of this discussion. Why don't you walk away from the google. |
Anonymous
| I just finished reading some NIDA materials for work, and there was a section on preventing drug abuse and addiction in kids. If I remember correctly, it said research indicates that earlier drug use is strongly correlated with addiction, and that it is a protective factor to have involved parents who do not condone drug use. |
Anonymous
i"ve read that it trying drugs under the age of 15 that is correlated with addiction. |
Anonymous
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I am amazed how many parents think keeping kids busy would prevent their using drugs.
IMHO, the best prevention is to teach your kids good judgement, and to trust themselves. |