S/o How can you minimize the chance your kid will get into drugs in high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The school environment is a big one. If the school has a lot of extra curricular activities, clubs that appeal to all kids (sports, math, debate, science, computers etc...) they can find an interest with a similar group of friends. They can also find this in church or other religions organizations.

I am going to get flamed here but I really do think that a school with good a lot of student with high SES would be better in terms of bullying kids with non popular culture interests (no rap music, drugs etc..) and providing the above items. If there are a lot of low SES they are trying to provide the basic necessities, parents are not as involved and the above extra curricular items are not the focus. It

OMG, No rap music? Could you be more coded?

My DD went to a "top 3" private school where you can bet there were (1) bullying kids, and (2) the usual level of experimentation with drugs and alcohol, in spite of wealthy parents and loads of extracurricular activities. I know of no school that is immune or even "better." Its amazing the lengths some of the posters are going to trying to establish that their kids are somehow safe.

To be even more direct, no its not just black kids who drink and do drugs.

I think you missed my point, I said that in schools with a rich variety of extracurricular activities there isn't a dominant group of kids bullying those that take academic interests over popular culture such as rap music. Point being, if the kid doesn't like rap music they won't be at risk of being bullied for liking computers or another activity.

1) Are there drugs and bullying in private schools or high ses schools of course.

2) Are there more in lower SES schools absolutely.

As a parent you reduce risk and option 1 is less of a risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The school environment is a big one. If the school has a lot of extra curricular activities, clubs that appeal to all kids (sports, math, debate, science, computers etc...) they can find an interest with a similar group of friends. They can also find this in church or other religions organizations.

I am going to get flamed here but I really do think that a school with good a lot of student with high SES would be better in terms of bullying kids with non popular culture interests (no rap music, drugs etc..) and providing the above items. If there are a lot of low SES they are trying to provide the basic necessities, parents are not as involved and the above extra curricular items are not the focus. It

OMG, No rap music? Could you be more coded?

My DD went to a "top 3" private school where you can bet there were (1) bullying kids, and (2) the usual level of experimentation with drugs and alcohol, in spite of wealthy parents and loads of extracurricular activities. I know of no school that is immune or even "better." Its amazing the lengths some of the posters are going to trying to establish that their kids are somehow safe.

To be even more direct, no its not just black kids who drink and do drugs.

I think you missed my point, I said that in schools with a rich variety of extracurricular activities there isn't a dominant group of kids bullying those that take academic interests over popular culture such as rap music. Point being, if the kid doesn't like rap music they won't be at risk of being bullied for liking computers or another activity.

1) Are there drugs and bullying in private schools or high ses schools of course.

2) Are there more in lower SES schools absolutely.

As a parent you reduce risk and option 1 is less of a risk.

Just different drugs. I went to school in the US in the 80s. Public school is to pot as private school is to cocaine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The school environment is a big one. If the school has a lot of extra curricular activities, clubs that appeal to all kids (sports, math, debate, science, computers etc...) they can find an interest with a similar group of friends. They can also find this in church or other religions organizations.

I am going to get flamed here but I really do think that a school with good a lot of student with high SES would be better in terms of bullying kids with non popular culture interests (no rap music, drugs etc..) and providing the above items. If there are a lot of low SES they are trying to provide the basic necessities, parents are not as involved and the above extra curricular items are not the focus. It

OMG, No rap music? Could you be more coded?

My DD went to a "top 3" private school where you can bet there were (1) bullying kids, and (2) the usual level of experimentation with drugs and alcohol, in spite of wealthy parents and loads of extracurricular activities. I know of no school that is immune or even "better." Its amazing the lengths some of the posters are going to trying to establish that their kids are somehow safe.

To be even more direct, no its not just black kids who drink and do drugs.

I think you missed my point, I said that in schools with a rich variety of extracurricular activities there isn't a dominant group of kids bullying those that take academic interests over popular culture such as rap music. Point being, if the kid doesn't like rap music they won't be at risk of being bullied for liking computers or another activity.

1) Are there drugs and bullying in private schools or high ses schools of course.

2) Are there more in lower SES schools absolutely.

As a parent you reduce risk and option 1 is less of a risk.

Just different drugs. I went to school in the US in the 80s. Public school is to pot as private school is to cocaine.

oh so you went to both? Please enlighten us of what it was like 30 years a go.

[Anonymous]

Family Poverty
Family poverty is associated with a number of adverse conditions — high mobility and homelessness; hunger and food insecurity; parents who are in jail or absent; domestic violence; drug abuse and other problems — known as “toxic stressors” because they are severe, sustained and not buffered by supportive relationships (Shonkoff & Garner, 2012). Drawing on a diverse fields of medical, biological and social science, Shonkoff and Garner present an ecobiodevelopmental framework to show how toxic stress in early childhood leads to lasting impacts on learning (linguistic, cognitive and social-emotional skills), behavior and health. These impacts are likely manifested in some of the precursors to dropping out, including low achievement, chronic absenteeism and misbehavior, as well as a host of strategies, attitudes and behaviors — sometimes referred to as “noncogntive” skills — linked to school success (Farrington et al., 2012)

http://www.apa.org/pi/ses/resources/indicator/2013/05/poverty-dropouts.aspx

[Anonymous]

are you kidding me? My kids are at a #1 school with almost no FARMS kids. They tell me half the kids in the school are smoking pot. Yes the athletes, yes the drama student, yes, yes, yes.

[Anonymous]

Two big things:

1) Allow your child to experience disappointment, frustration, anger, and other negative emotions throughout childhood. Do not shield them from every hurt or every disappointment. Allow them to develop coping mechanisms for everyday pain and support (like, you!) for big problems.

2) Give a child increasing levels of responsibility - for chores, for money, for grades - as they grow older. Make them feel responsible for how they spend their time, how they make money, and if you let them spend your money.

A little experimentation with alcohol or even some drugs in high school is not the end of the world. But when kids use alcohol, pot, or harder drugs to cope with everyday stressors, you're looking at addictions developing.

Too many parents today try to shield their kids from EVERY stress and every mistake -- or worse, from the consequences of their mistakes. That develops young adults who have no coping skills and no sense of responsibility or efficacy.

[said by the stepparent of a 20 year old college dropout and cocaine addict whose parents bailed her out any time she left a book or homework assignment at home, never expected her to do a single chore, never asked her to chip in for any expenses, never required her to pay for summer school when she failed classes, never expected that she hold a job or keep a commitment to a team or club, etc. Too much free time, too much money, not enough responsibility.]

[Anonymous]

Does that show "Intervention" still come on? That was a sobering show becuase it showed parents who were enablers for their adult children's drug addictions. Most of the parents had checked out of parenting for various reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:are you kidding me? My kids are at a #1 school with almost no FARMS kids. They tell me half the kids in the school are smoking pot. Yes the athletes, yes the drama student, yes, yes, yes.

That is a statistical impossibility. Maybe that is his/her perception. Perhaps he or she is trying to instill a bias into you.

[Anonymous]

Wait, what's "statistically impossible"? 50% drug use is not impossible, it's not improbable, it's not even unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two big things:

1) Allow your child to experience disappointment, frustration, anger, and other negative emotions throughout childhood. Do not shield them from every hurt or every disappointment. Allow them to develop coping mechanisms for everyday pain and support (like, you!) for big problems.

2) Give a child increasing levels of responsibility - for chores, for money, for grades - as they grow older. Make them feel responsible for how they spend their time, how they make money, and if you let them spend your money.

A little experimentation with alcohol or even some drugs in high school is not the end of the world. But when kids use alcohol, pot, or harder drugs to cope with everyday stressors, you're looking at addictions developing.

Too many parents today try to shield their kids from EVERY stress and every mistake -- or worse, from the consequences of their mistakes. That develops young adults who have no coping skills and no sense of responsibility or efficacy.

[said by the stepparent of a 20 year old college dropout and cocaine addict whose parents bailed her out any time she left a book or homework assignment at home, never expected her to do a single chore, never asked her to chip in for any expenses, never required her to pay for summer school when she failed classes, never expected that she hold a job or keep a commitment to a team or club, etc. Too much free time, too much money, not enough responsibility.]

Applause. Applause. Really. Read this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The school environment is a big one. If the school has a lot of extra curricular activities, clubs that appeal to all kids (sports, math, debate, science, computers etc...) they can find an interest with a similar group of friends. They can also find this in church or other religions organizations.

I am going to get flamed here but I really do think that a school with good a lot of student with high SES would be better in terms of bullying kids with non popular culture interests (no rap music, drugs etc..) and providing the above items. If there are a lot of low SES they are trying to provide the basic necessities, parents are not as involved and the above extra curricular items are not the focus. It

OMG, No rap music? Could you be more coded?

My DD went to a "top 3" private school where you can bet there were (1) bullying kids, and (2) the usual level of experimentation with drugs and alcohol, in spite of wealthy parents and loads of extracurricular activities. I know of no school that is immune or even "better." Its amazing the lengths some of the posters are going to trying to establish that their kids are somehow safe.

To be even more direct, no its not just black kids who drink and do drugs.

I think you missed my point, I said that in schools with a rich variety of extracurricular activities there isn't a dominant group of kids bullying those that take academic interests over popular culture such as rap music. Point being, if the kid doesn't like rap music they won't be at risk of being bullied for liking computers or another activity.

1) Are there drugs and bullying in private schools or high ses schools of course.

2) Are there more in lower SES schools absolutely.

As a parent you reduce risk and option 1 is less of a risk.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/12/teen-drug-use_n_3745341.html

[Anonymous]

Sports, sports, sports, and sports.

[Anonymous]

Less bullying at high SES schools over conformity issues?

Maybe you need a drug test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Less bullying at high SES schools over conformity issues?

Maybe you need a drug test.

That is true of the current culture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two big things:

1) Allow your child to experience disappointment, frustration, anger, and other negative emotions throughout childhood. Do not shield them from every hurt or every disappointment. Allow them to develop coping mechanisms for everyday pain and support (like, you!) for big problems.

2) Give a child increasing levels of responsibility - for chores, for money, for grades - as they grow older. Make them feel responsible for how they spend their time, how they make money, and if you let them spend your money.

A little experimentation with alcohol or even some drugs in high school is not the end of the world. But when kids use alcohol, pot, or harder drugs to cope with everyday stressors, you're looking at addictions developing.

Too many parents today try to shield their kids from EVERY stress and every mistake -- or worse, from the consequences of their mistakes. That develops young adults who have no coping skills and no sense of responsibility or efficacy.

[said by the stepparent of a 20 year old college dropout and cocaine addict whose parents bailed her out any time she left a book or homework assignment at home, never expected her to do a single chore, never asked her to chip in for any expenses, never required her to pay for summer school when she failed classes, never expected that she hold a job or keep a commitment to a team or club, etc. Too much free time, too much money, not enough responsibility.]

Applause. Applause. Really. Read this.

Yep, this. Hold your teen accountable for his/her actions and behavior. Let them experience natural consequences.