Reply to S/o How can you minimize the chance your kid will get into drugs in high school?

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[quote=Anonymous]Just some practical advice/experience. My oldest is a freshman in dcps. Great kid, all A's, superstar athlete. She has made some mistakes-nothing too terrible, but enough. So here we are for right now:
* Very little unaccounted for time. She takes public transportation to and from school, so there is that transit time. 
* School is the absolute first priority. 
* She absolutely must check in with me to make any changes to her after school time. Sometimes I approve, sometimes not. 
* I am always willing to drop off/pick up from sanctioned activities and I am always on time/waiting. I am always happy to pick up/take friends home. 
* Cannot attend big parties (we all know what happens), ok to have small groups of people over our house, ok to go to known friends' houses if I have talked to an adult. 
* I have her password and do checks on her electronic convos (of course she most likely deletes everything immediately).
* No sleepovers-a few friends very well known friends are welcome to stay over at our house-one at a time. But my kid sleeps at home.
* Lots of contact with parents of friends. Meet for coffee, talk on the phone, attend school related events together. So the kids know that we are all talking to each other and collectively paying attention to them.

This set up came after a period of total lockdown with no electronics after her big mistake. I still hate the cell phone-way too much inappropriate talk happening. Not sure what to do about that.

I really feel like my kid has taken some comfort in the fact that her parameters are set. She still has an appropriate social life/time with friends. She has her sport life and she goes to movies, goes to Starbucks, goes shopping etc with friends but it is all with adult permission and within set time frames. Of course, she could still find time to make mistakes, she is a teenager.

Too much freedom is never good for kids. I remember when mine were toddlers and how setting up solid routines just made them happier so they could relax and know what was expected. This is the teenage version of routine. They are still kids, they need to know where their decision making begins and ends.

Mostly-we talk about her mistake and why she was playing with fire. She knows that we are her biggest advocates but that we also have the highest expectations.[/quote]

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