do you let 10yo go to sleepovers?

[Anonymous]

No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally don't feel strongly about the sleepover issue. But what strikes me is the hypocrisy of the parents who claim that sleepovers are critical for developing their kids' resilience, and then in the next sentence point out that the kids who are not allowed sleepovers will be made fun of in school for not conforming to the "norm." The message, then, is that the most important thing is to teach your kids to do what everyone else does and be like everyone else, or (gasp!) people might think they're weird. To me, resilience means the ability to have self-awareness and to get through difficult times, even when other kids might be unaccepting or intolerant. Obviously none of us WANTS our kids to have a hard time socially. But that is a part of growing up, and does build resilience. The fact that other kids at school might have a problem with Susie not going to a sleepover is emphatically the other kids' problem, and not Susie's...and it is Susie's parents' responsibility to drive that message home to Susie. THAT is what will help build her resilience - not conforming to something that other kids do, despite the parents' discomfort with it, just to avoid a POTENTIAL social difficulty with intolerant idiots.

well, well said

[Anonymous]

You absolutely never leave your ten year old with people you don't know. Really know.

Sorry, but what's the matter with you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely never leave your ten year old with people you don't know. Really know.

Sorry, but what's the matter with you people?

I don't "Really know" more than 10-30 people on this planet, my closest family and friends.

Yet we leave our kids with teachers, coaches, youth group leaders, boy scout leaders, girl scout leaders, friends' parents, on their own to get places in town, etc.

Don't teach your kid to be paranoid and fearful, teach them to use common sense and be independent and confident in themselves. The odds of something going wrong are very small, but if they feel in any way uncomfortable they need an exit plan. That applies to all situations. Then let them go, because they can't live in your shadow their whole lives or in your line of sight until they are 18 and suddenly no longer "kids"

Sleepovers are fine. So are a variety of other independent experiences. But I am probably way too "free range" (hate that phrase, my kids are not farm animals) for this board.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing to be gained from this at this age. Learned that from a highly respected teacher.

He said all he saw on Monday mornings, was a new class divide. Those who went and those who didn't. He specifically asked parents to hold off on these events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing to be gained from this at this age. Learned that from a highly respected teacher.

He said all he saw on Monday mornings, was a new class divide. Those who went and those who didn't. He specifically asked parents to hold off on these events.

Wow. I will not be "holding off on" events outside of school hours or limiting my child's social life because the teacher doesn't like it or believes he has the right to ask me to do so.

My kid is taught not to mention events in front of those not invited, and she knows there will be major consequences for poor classroom behavior. We definitely value education and respect teachers, but not sufficiently to allow a teacher such enormous say in our lives outside of school.