do you let 10yo go to sleepovers?

[Anonymous]

My DS, age 10, is invited to a school friend's sleepover party. We do not know the family very well -- know who they are, haven't gotten to know them. I am torn about how to handle it. My first reaction is no, we don't know these people well enough. But reconsidering a bit, not wanting to prevent DS from going to a classmate's party. At the least, I would go over and meet the parents at beginning of party, linger for a few minutes, but that doesn't tell me much. DS has done sleepovers before, but in other cases we knew the parents better. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

We let our 9 yo DS go to sleepovers and have since he was about 6. Granted, most of the sleepovers he attends are at homes of people we know well. However, there was one party he was invited to and we didn't know the parents at all. He was only 7 so I was very apprehensive. But he really wanted to go. So, I went to the house and met the parents. Needless to say, I didn't leave with a comfortable feeling (there was a pool table in the living room - no couch, no tv -- just a pool table). But I let him stay. I worried all night long. The next morning, I picked him up promptly at 10. He was sitting there, eating pancakes, laughing and joking with his friends. The mom and dad were supervising and all appeared to have gone well. DS said he had a blast. It was a good lesson for me to let go at times. It doesn't mean I don't parent but I can't hover constantly. With your DS being 10, I think you've got to let go a bit.

[Anonymous]

Is he mature? Does he know he can call you if he needs to?

If so, I'd allow it. I'm sure he'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

you could call the parents and just check in about the party, ask who will be there, etc. see if you feel comfortable after a chat. are any of your child's friends invited whose parents might know the family better. could check them out with friend's parents.

my son is 7 so he's done sleepovers since he was 5 but up to now at houses where i know the parents.

[Anonymous]

Do you know the kid who invited him? What kind of kid is he? I know it is not a great guage, but I feel if the kid is well adjusted then he probably has okay parents. Also, I would let your son knows that he can call you at any time and you will be over to pick him up.

[Anonymous]

I ask, other than the kids my child's age, what other people are there. Uncle sleeping on the couch, older stepbrother there for the weekend, or even just an older male sibling would be a no go for me.

[Anonymous]

Sure. If I don't know the parents at all I'd walk him to the door and look the parent in the eyes. But yes, I'd absolutely let him go.

[Anonymous]

!0 is much older than the norm for sleepovers in my DD and DS's social circles. I'd say they started sleepovers at around age 6-7.

[Anonymous]

Not the op, but would it change your response if the sleep over was at a hotel?

[Anonymous]

You could always pick up at 11 or some late hour so your child can enjoy the evening and still sleep at home.

[Anonymous]

let him go. It will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask, other than the kids my child's age, what other people are there. Uncle sleeping on the couch, older stepbrother there for the weekend, or even just an older male sibling would be a no go for me.

Yeah because if he has an older brother the older brother is probably a child molester. WTH?!

[Anonymous]

Yes. I would let him go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you could call the parents and just check in about the party, ask who will be there, etc. see if you feel comfortable after a chat. are any of your child's friends invited whose parents might know the family better. could check them out with friend's parents.

great advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask, other than the kids my child's age, what other people are there. Uncle sleeping on the couch, older stepbrother there for the weekend, or even just an older male sibling would be a no go for me.

Yeah because if he has an older brother the older brother is probably a child molester. WTH?!

agree -- that's a little nutty