Sister just stole my baby name... no, literally, MY name!

[Anonymous]

Wowsers. OP, I'm all for saying you can't "steal" a name, but this comes pretty damn close.

I'd still use the name.

[Anonymous]

She won't feel like a copy of her cousin. Her name will match her mother and her grandmother. The cousin might feel like a copy.

Totally agree with this! Especially since the 2 cousins have such close birthdays...not like the older one was here much earlier than OP's baby.
My SIL stole our baby girl name. She said she was going to use it for her first girl regardless of whether we used it or not. I thought that was weird.

[Anonymous]

There is a spanish novel I love (Malena es un nombre de Tango) about repressive gender norms and the protagonist and her sister are named after the mother and aunt and feel totally crushed by it and locked into being like them.

[Anonymous]

Use the name you were planning to use, and dont think twice about it. And try not to be too irritated at your sister- that's not going to lead anywhere good. If you feel like it, you can quietly tell your mom that the name you chose was picked a long time back.

[Anonymous]

I think you should use the name but the better question is do you tell your sister that you plan to use it or do you wait and have your husband give the good news?

[Anonymous]

When our extended family gets together, one picture is always taken of the 10 in the family who share the same name (first or middle). That's one name that's been recycled 10 times among my father and his siblings and now my siblings and me. The group enjoys it. Use the name you want and don't let it destroy relationships. (And really, it's not hard to say "Amy K" or "Amy G" for example).

[Anonymous]

I hope you stick with the name OP. I have 2 cousins with the same name (although different nicknames) and it's not unusual at all. The younger cousin was named after his father. I'm sorry that your sister sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally disagree with the previous posters. Choose another name. You lost this time. Considering how close in age these two girls will be and the frequency they will see each other, it is really lame for you to insist on using the name too. Also I think it is strange for your daughter to be mom junior. Pick something else. There are lots of nice names out there. What about grandma's name or DH's mom's name?

Totally disagree with this. In our family the women share the middle name - my DD is 5th generation with the same middle name. I know it's different than a first name. But, I think traditions are very important and this name is obviously important to you. Name your child something you love - if it's the same name - then that is fine. I think the tradition of it will mean a lot to your child.

PP: Your situation is totally different. It is more of an expectation and everyone understands and enjoys this tradition. Good for you. Some of us got lousy sisters.

Yes, dear. I understand it's a different situation. I even said it's different. I was trying to point out that tradition is a great thing - this is a tradition the OP wants to set with her DD - DD would be the third, and who knows, maybe DD might some day want to pass it along. OP had her mind/heart set on this name - the tradition will mean something to her child. At the end of the day - go with what you will be happy with. What the sister did was lousy - but don't let her bitchiness ruin what you want to do. If you (OP) decide to name your DD as planned, I would bet it will end up bothering your sister more than it would you. But as the kids get older, my guess is the cousins won't care.

[Anonymous]

So here's my quarterback couch take on why your sister did this. The OP mentioned that her sister is difficult or competitive and was worried that her third child would not get as much attention as the OP's first. When she heard that the OP was naming her first daughter using the OP's name and the mom's name, the sister probably freaked out that her mother would make even bigger deal out of OP's child. The sister also probably felt at some point that her mom favored the OP. She may even have felt it was unfair growing up that the OP was named after the mom and she was not. The sister decided to steal the name to spite her sister and mom even though she never considered the name. If you are going to use traditional or family names, almost everyone does it for the first kids. They don't choose something random and then start choosing traditional names for the 2nd or 3rd kid. It was preemptive move on her part.

I think that the OP should absolutely use the name. Overtime, no one is going to focus on the sister's child being born a few weeks sooner than the OP's. What they will notice is how odd it is for the sister to have named her child after the OP and the same name as the OP's child. I would bet that after the OP using the name that her sister will change her child's name or at least call her something else. Its going to bug the sister that the OP had the guts to steal back the name. The sister will have lost her main goal anyway and look stupid. It also brings out into the open the trick she was trying to play. Since she never really wanted the name in the first place, it would not make sense for her to keep it.

[Anonymous]

The saddest thing about reading this thread is seeing so many people get hyped up about revenge, teaching lessons, etc.

OP, name your child what you planned because there is a tradition there. And then let it go. In the middle of all this nonsense are two little girls. If this doesn't stop now, it will impact another generation at some point down the road.

You already let your sister know what name you would use it. Stick to it, and then focus on enjoying your daughter.

We have a lot of multi-generational feuds in my family. It's amazing some of the stuff that started it off. Even though this feels huge now, don't let it turn into something epic.

[Anonymous]

OP, definitely use the name you intended to use. Too bad for your sister. She should have thought better of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can so relate to how the OP must feel. My sister did the same thing. But Karma is a bitch. Her first child is mentally disabled and the child she "named after me" is........gay. Granted she may have kids, but my asshole sister would never accept them. She's a "good catholic" Sad....I would not wish a disabled child on anyone.....but makes me believe in karma!

Good Christ this might be the sickest thing I've read on here.... You are awful.

[Anonymous]

As much as i wouldn't like it...from here on out i'd handle it like this while speaking to my sister, 'omg, our daughters will have teh same name!! how exciting!' make it sound like you just don't care! afterall, you are sisters, and all you can do is move forward...no use fighting over a name. And there's no reason you can't both have the same name....but yes, i'd be annoyed...but maybe the fact taht she was so quite abt it and didn't make a big deal in discusssing names with u was b/c she wanted it too...maybe her hubby didn't want it for the first baby but was open to it now and it's been something she's wanted but just not something she talked abt....just let it go and focus on your baby!

[Anonymous]

Honestly, sometimes I think these kinds of things are petty, but in your case, I think you have every right to be pissed. I think it would have been appropriate for her to honor your mom by using mom's name as a middle name, NOT as a first name. I don't know what I'd do. I might consider a different name.

My daughter has my mom's name as her middle name. My brother's daughter has my mom's name as her first name. They were born 3 months apart, and I knew we both planned to honor my mom (who passed when I was a teen), but it was no issue in our case because i used it for the middle and they used it for a first name.

[Anonymous]

OP I hope you are still reading because this ALMOST HAPPENED TO ME. And I never thought I would hear about it happening to someone else. I was pregnant and picked my mom's name AND MY NAME (same name) as a girl name. And told my sister. Before my baby was born, sis got pregnant and told me "I want to use it too." I was really mad, but we BOTH had boys so it didn't matter. Next pregnancy, she gets pregnant a few months before me. We both still want to use MY name. She has a boy. I have a girl and use the name. She tells me she STILL wants to use it. She has three more kids. All boys.
Now she has five boys, so no one wants to hang out with her anyway.
Karma's a bitch.