Sister just stole my baby name... no, literally, MY name!

[Anonymous]

I'd be so snarky about - I'd use the same name and then say to sister - I guess you're the only one without the name! Boo on you!

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing the name is 'Mary' if it is commonly paired with a second name. I would just go forward with using it. Call your daughter 'Mary Cate' or 'Mary Claire' or whatever and if your sister has a problem explain everything you said above. I don't see a problem if two cousins share their grandmother's name. Your sister is a bitch, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally disagree with the previous posters. Choose another name. You lost this time. Considering how close in age these two girls will be and the frequency they will see each other, it is really lame for you to insist on using the name too. Also I think it is strange for your daughter to be mom junior. Pick something else. There are lots of nice names out there. What about grandma's name or DH's mom's name?

TOTALLY disagree with you.
1. It IS Grandma's name, as well's as OP's name. That's kind of the point, a tradition of carrying on the name.
2. So I assume you object to boy's being "junior" as well? I love the name Will. But my grandfather is William, his son/my uncle is William jr, and his son/my cousin is William III. Even though they all use the nickname Bill rather than Will, I would never have presumed to name a baby boy William, since it clearly belongs to another branch of our family tree.

OP, I have no idea what's going on with your sister. One would think that she would have also said to you "we wanted to honor you by giving our daughter your name". Since she didn't say that, there's obviously some passive-aggressive stuff going on. Give your daughter the name you want. She will be honored to have that legacy of the same name as her grandmother and mom. And treat your niece with love, it's not her fault that her mom is a jerk!

[Anonymous]

Just go ahead and name her Mary or Sara(h), whichever one it is. We do this in my family as a tradition; we have tons of Sarahs running around. It's lovely. Some are called Sally and some have double names and some are simply Sarah.
Your sister sucks, but just use the name. It won't be a big deal to have cousins with the same name.

[Anonymous]

I'm going with Emma.

Stick with the name. I have a cousin and sister both named Kathie that are the same age. Its no big deal. There's also 3 Stephens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just go ahead and name her Mary or Sara(h), whichever one it is. We do this in my family as a tradition; we have tons of Sarahs running around. It's lovely. Some are called Sally and some have double names and some are simply Sarah.
Your sister sucks, but just use the name. It won't be a big deal to have cousins with the same name.

Am I related to you? We have a family full of Sarahs, too!

[Anonymous]

My dad was named after his dad (James), and both he and his sister have boys named James, so my brother has a cousin 3 years older with the same name. Both were called Jimmy. It was never a big deal. They were different people.

Although, FWIW, I would be super peeved that there was no communication about it prior. My SIL and I were both pregnant with our 2nd at the same time and neither one knew the gender, so we checked in w/ one another. I already had my girls name picked out, so she knew not to name a girl that, and vice versa with her boys name. We both ended up having girls.

[sybersus]

Wow, unbelievable. That takes passive-aggressiveness to a new level. I say just name your daughter what you would like to name her (your name), and call her that. There's no reason why you have to change your plans when you were clear to begin with on your intentions.

[Anonymous]

Name your daughter whatever you wish.

Ours is another family with same names - but at the time a cousin 'stole' the name for her daughter, I was pretty offended. She used a family middle name and claimed it was after the grandmother. It was, but it was also my mother's middle and my middle.... fast forward 16 years later, I continued the name with my daughter and now I realize it's no big deal. Our family has lots of that middle all named after the legacy - my grandmother.

More power to carrying on the legacy.

[Anonymous]

Set a good example for your DD, and take the high road.

Don't say anything to your sister, other than congratulations and all that other nice stuff!

When your daughter arrives, give her the name you planned. If your sister is unhappy about it, tell her you always planned to use this name and it turns out that she used it, too, so the cousins will always share this special bond.

As for the cousins being mixed up or unhappy about having the same name, I wouldn't think twice about it. My brother and our first cousin have the same name (they're named for the shared grandfather), and it's never been a problem.

[Anonymous]

I have the same name as my cousin and it never caused a problem and my mother and her sister got along swimingly.

[Anonymous]

OP, please tell us what you and your husband decide to do.

[Anonymous]

Just to clarify, OP did you ever tell your sister you were definitely going to use the name? I know you said you might. Also, how long ago did you tell her it was on your list?

[Anonymous]

I might chose another name, perhaps reversing the first and middle names. Then just call her by her middle name.

Total bad move on your sister's part, but you don't want to be reminded of this incident for the rest of your lives. Try to move beyond it in the best way you can, and as fast as you can, so your daughter won't be burdened by the weirdness. Maiden names, either yours or your mother's.

I also naturally fell into calling my son a nickname that has nothing to do with his name. Perhaps you can name your daughter the name as planned. Once you meet iwth her, spend time with her, another affectionate pet name may emerge.

[Anonymous]

OP, this sucks, but. . . as the mother of a child with a double name (I suspect that our daughters share the first name , I strongly encourage you to think about going with the double name option. My daughter gets TONS of compliments on it, and although we have to sometimes say "it's a double name" so that people don't think it's her last name, it makes her unusual and immediately recognizable as the child of Southern parents (where this double name thing is common and where the specific combination we use is not unheard of, although it's really unusual 'round DC and so gets attention and compliments). If the combination just doesn't work for you, go with the name you originally intended, call her what you wish, and know that in 30 years, she will be grateful you gave her a name in honor and memory of those she loved, even if she shared it with a favorite cousin.
Hang in there.