What's It Like Being Married to a Smart Man?
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Anonymous
| My husband has a mechanical engineering masters and a biomedical engineering masters, has been published in multiple journals for his research on nanoparticles, and now works at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the US as a clinical systems engineer... he used to work for the government building tanks. Trust me, I could go on... I'm getting a masters in music education - my husband also plays multiple instruments; piano, guitar, mandolin, etc... i feel so defeated; not that he makes it a competition. he is incredibly humble, thoughtful, caring, sensitive, and handsome. i'm like the luckiest woman in the world. i just get down on myself because i've always strived to be an academic type. ...in 5th grade i had to take an "academically gifted" entrance exam and did not pass. it was devastating to be told at 10 that you're not smart enough. i've carried that with me my whole life. looking back, i wish i could just hug myself and convince myself i'm just not a test taker. |
Anonymous
| I'm married to an extremely intelligent man who has zero emotional intelligence or street smarts. I truly dislike him. Wish I'd been smarter myself all those years ago. |
Anonymous
It's ok. You're just not a test taker. Say that 10 times. |
Anonymous
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Incredibly (brilliantly) smart father who is hilariously funny and loving.
Incredibly (brilliantly) smart husband who is super-critical and can lead towards pompousness at times. |
Anonymous
| My husband is very smart, but a complete slob. He would live in total filth if he didn't have someone taking care of him. There is a price for everything. |
Anonymous
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I had a brilliant father. Total narcissist. He was the central person in our house all. the. time. Every evening the Brilliant Man held court and we listened to his brilliance and asked intelligent questions that allowed him to further expatiate his brilliant thoughts. He had no idea what was going on in his kids lives, no interest, ever. In some ways we will never recover. Nothing could grow near him, which was very very hard on his children. We were like groupies or cult members or something.
My DH is really smart, but he is super private and just likes to do his thinking thing and talk with others who are into the same topics. He's a fully committed husband and dad who can put other people first. He's supervising homework right now. Aaaah. |
Anonymous
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DH is widely acknowledged as one of the best academics in the world in a STEM field (he's a named prof at a top 10 university, gets tons of awards, etc), so he's smart.
But he's not at all a narcissist and is definitely a funny normal guy. That said, I trust his judgement about most things more than my own (for matching our kids' clothes, I'll go with my judgement). I'm also very accomplished. Honestly, it's great, but smart + narcissist isn't worth it. They do not always go together. Smart + narcissist usually equals not actually that smart, just putting on a good show about it. Truly smart people are generally quietly confident, although occasionally they are also insufferably arrogant. I wouldn't have married someone whose judgement I didn't trust though, so while not being brilliant is not really the world's biggest character flaw, your wondering about this is kind of sad. |
Anonymous
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My DH is undoubtedly smart (tenured professor, published author) and his intellectual capabilities in his field are far above mine (and I took some classes in his field so I know it's true!). He claims that his success is due to diligence and hard work primarily.
I tested at genius level through most of my childhood but had undiagnosed ADHD and pretty much messed up a lot of my opportunities by making impulsive decisions and being unable to focus. We both now make about the same salary, have similarly prestigious jobs, and enjoy the same dumb movies and TV shows. I think it's a wash. |
Anonymous
| Super smart DH, but I am too. About even. he's stronger in some ways and I am in others. We enjoy that about each other. And we always seek each other's perspective and make each other laugh a lot. He's not a narcissist. Very kind person. I trust his judgment on most things. But he can be a little bit "absent minded professor". |
Anonymous
| But the real question is is he a young hottie? |
Anonymous
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Throwing this out there, but women are smart too.
What's it like being married to a smarty pants? Awesome. Picked my mate for intellect and other reasons. We are very different though. I'm more theory, he's more practical in our field. Same field. Oh, and I am definitely smarter than him and kick his ass on a daily basis. He acknowledges my super powers. 
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Anonymous
Hello. I thought it was only me. |
Anonymous
Best.advice.ever. |
Anonymous
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Dh is brilliant and he's also emotionally intelligent. Even so, he's not perfect. He has a prestigious, high powered job and makes tough decisions on the fly that have major impacts on people but can't seem to put the trash bag in correctly at home. However, he's kind and loving and my bff so I can live with that.
Intelligence doesn't determine relationship satisfaction one way or the other. It just depends on the individual. |
Anonymous
| Smart + narcissist = sociopath |