We gunned our kid for an ivy and it looks like we'll miss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said he went to a private school. Did you consider ED Chicago? That would be a great choice for him.

You don't know the SAT score...

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for the parent. This is someone who will never be pleased.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I think this is shortsighted. I understand your frustration but there are a lot of lifelong benefits to expensive investments in children like private school, the right extracurriculars, etc. A lot of these investments teach children to behave like they are elites which goes a long way. Life is really long and outcomes for anyone are complex. College admissions is such a small piece of the larger puzzle. Most people end up needing graduate school. There’s always another bite at some apple. Feel optimistic. The adventure is just beginning

[Anonymous]

Cannot believe no one has complemented OP on the selection of an ideal topic for this little bit of satire.

The writing need's work, but there is time yet to polish it up and submit to McSweeney’s with an eye toward mid March publication, just in time for Ivy Day!

[Anonymous]

Drama Mama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1500 SAT isn’t hard. If they couldn’t reach after tries, IVYs would be a bad fit anyway. To make OP feel better, DC got 1580 SAT first try but chose to attend state flagship over T20.

Why would your kid choose that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said he went to a private school. Did you consider ED Chicago? That would be a great choice for him.

Breaking above 1500 is easier than getting into T30 school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why some of us choose not to push our kids and let them decide what kind of student they choose to be. If a kid is very academic and ambitious, we'll support and make sure they have the opportunities to pursue that, and maybe that will result in going to a top school. I won't hold a kid back. But I'm not going to hound a child for years, stack their schedule based on an "Ivy or bust" mentality, or keep them out of what I view to be valuable coming-of-age activities (hanging with friends, pursuing passions that might not look good on an Ivy application, etc.). They only have one childhood, one adolescence.

Sure, a kid I raise might later say "why didn't you push me harder? maybe I would have gone further if you'd pushed me." So there's no silver bullet. But for me, I value letting my kid be themselves, making sure they understand there is value in life whether you are a super star or just a regular person, and that there are many paths to success and fulfillment.

We didn’t gun. Our kids played the sports they wanted, hung out with friends, had summer jobs, volunteered, etc,

It wasn’t until mid-Junior year with first he/we even thought we might throw in an Ivy app. Part of that was he scored a 36 ACT start of Junior year with no prep. He also had straight As in rigorous coarse load at a school known for rigor.

Frankly, many of the kids we know that got in unhooked at Ivies- didn’t have tiger parents and they weren’t “gunners”- just smart, nice kids that teachers liked.

[Anonymous]

Well OP, I spent thousands of hours and time with my kids in sports and they aren’t playing in college or growing pro, either. lol

They did get into Ivies on academics —though if you asked them they’d rather we let them play college sport at the very low academic schools that reached out to offer spots on teams. We had to explain the ability to look to the future and weigh options. Imagine getting an injury that took you out of the game or sitting on the bench for a coach you end up hating—would you still want to be at that other school? If they couldn’t answer “yes” it was a non-starter.

Life is a series of choices. You made yours. Regret really doesn’t serve any purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From when DC was little, we did it all. Lessons, tutoring, coaching, sports, extracurriculars, private school from when they could walk, you name it. We were gunning for those ivied walls.

And then the SAT score came back. A great score, and one to be proud of. But not 1500+. More prep, still no dice.

DC will likely end up at their state flagship or somewhere similarly ranked. The same as a lot of kids who didn't grind as hard. They'll get a good education. If the work ethic we tried to install in them through that grinding holds up, they'll get a great education. Or will DC melt like a hothouse flower once Mom and Dad aren't there to supervise? I don't know.

Do I have regrets? Ideally I wish DC could have spent more time with friends. Then again, people at our private aren't that social outside of school, at least not with us, so I didn't know if that was an option. I don't think DC needed more time playing video games or watching TV. The one thing I realistically could have given them is more time for pleasure reading, and I regret that.

So I didn't know, I feel kind of adrift. Our enterprise was a failure in its primary and unreasonable aim (getting DC into an ivy) and has yet to be tested on its secondary and reasonable aim (instilling a good academic work ethic). Has anyone been in this boat?

Why is it Ivy or state school? Why either or? Is kid a senior? Sounds like a kid like this would so well at a SLAC or a large private more than a state school.

What? Many state schools are absolutely excellent - and much higher ranked than privates and SLACs.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know anyone like OP in real life.
Really? You didn’t let your child have a social life…because of an Ivy League pipe dream?

It makes no sense. I am glad you are writing your regrets. Maybe others who are similar to you will rethink…

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. Sounds like an Ivy is more your dream. Please try and not transmit your disappointment to your DC.

[Anonymous]

Troll? Or are you real OP?

[Anonymous]

OP clearly went to a mid school and this admissions process has been more about them and their own insecurities vs what is best for their kid.

Parents who attended Ivies are much more chill about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said he went to a private school. Did you consider ED Chicago? That would be a great choice for him.

Nice attempt at trolling. The 25-50-75 SAT range at UChicago is 1510-1540-1560, same as the other top schools.