2 feds divorcing in MoCo with young kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The spouse being “just not happy” probably means an affair. Sorry, OP.

Yeah, she got caught.

The husband wants the divorce, but nice try

Why do you think he wants the divorce? No sloppy seconds.

[Anonymous]

I don't care what anyone says.....Men only leave when they have someone else.

That is why he doesn't want to work on the marriage. The other woman is pressuring him to speed up the divorce.

OP, get a shark attorney and get yourself and your kids as much as you can.

- Old, and seen a lot of sh*t

[Anonymous]

Ugh, don't ask DCUM -- filled with women who would rather stay in a miserable marriage than live in a house with fewer than 4 bedrooms, 2 baths.

If divorce is inevitable (from husband's side), move on. You can model resiliency for your kids or you can model a marriage where you're both miserable.

(Worth mentioning that even if you weren't miserable, trying to stay with unhappy spouse will make you both miserable.)

Rent a one or two bedroom apartment in the same school zone for now. Kids don't care if you pretend you don't care either. Pretend you're one of the many feds who got laid off this year -- ruthlessly pare down spending now, including retirement investments. Focus on building up some cash, if possible.

In a couple years when you've stabilized, you can look for a condo or -- further out -- a townhouse.

You can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care what anyone says.....Men only leave when they have someone else.

That is why he doesn't want to work on the marriage. The other woman is pressuring him to speed up the divorce.

OP, get a shark attorney and get yourself and your kids as much as you can.

- Old, and seen a lot of sh*t

You forget how much women let go of themselves after they have kids.

[Anonymous]

You can live in DC as a single parent fed and even buy a townhome. I think OP might be a bit deluded in their needs, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't buy a condo. Renting is better. It sounds like you might still be under 40, maybe even 35, so you might be able to find a new partner quickly if you set your expectations accordingly.

Come on now. OP needs to focus their attention on their children and find an eff buddy, not a serious relationship.

No, she needs a sugar daddy. Or at least a roommate with benefits.

You’re gross.

No one tells men to consider selling their bodies to survive. 🙄

No, because they assume he’ll quickly find a woman to take care of him. One who will believe every claim he makes about how taking care of his kids is impoverishing him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, don't ask DCUM -- filled with women who would rather stay in a miserable marriage than live in a house with fewer than 4 bedrooms, 2 baths.

If divorce is inevitable (from husband's side), move on. You can model resiliency for your kids or you can model a marriage where you're both miserable.

(Worth mentioning that even if you weren't miserable, trying to stay with unhappy spouse will make you both miserable.)

Rent a one or two bedroom apartment in the same school zone for now. Kids don't care if you pretend you don't care either. Pretend you're one of the many feds who got laid off this year -- ruthlessly pare down spending now, including retirement investments. Focus on building up some cash, if possible.

In a couple years when you've stabilized, you can look for a condo or -- further out -- a townhouse.

You can do it.

I had the opposite experience here. I was told repeatedly that I had ruined my kids’ lives forever by having them live in an apartment filled with peace and love rather than a SFH where we were walking on eggshells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you find roommates.

Do you get along well enough you could continue to live together while seeing other people?

I'm not f***g a man still living his ex wife. Nope.

[Anonymous]

If OP were doing well financially she wouldn't be worrying. Every single day men find themselves in this exact scenario because their exes couldn't wait to get divorced. Women always want to control everything in a way that benefit them. If OP were doing well, her ex may as well end up homeless and she wouldn't give a sh**t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you find roommates.

Do you get along well enough you could continue to live together while seeing other people?

I'm not f***g a man still living his ex wife. Nope.

Hell fking no.

Live in a sham roommate situation and suddenly when the kids are young adults you tell them you’re splitting. This is their “healthy” solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you find roommates.

Do you get along well enough you could continue to live together while seeing other people?

I'm not f***g a man still living his ex wife. Nope.

You wouldn't need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you find roommates.

Do you get along well enough you could continue to live together while seeing other people?

I'm not f***g a man still living his ex wife. Nope.

Wise choice lol. My ex and I had sex twice post divorce. Don't ask me how it happened. Now imagine if we were living together....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you find roommates.

Do you get along well enough you could continue to live together while seeing other people?

I'm not f***g a man still living his ex wife. Nope.

Just one still married to his wife—like half the women on this board do ….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep looking at the numbers and have no idea how either of us can afford to live as single people with kids on a fed salary. Am I right that maintaining two households in MoCo and affording daily life is completely out of reach on federal salaries? Has anyone been through this that can share?

I'm in NoVa near Tyson's and that was my exact conclusion. It's part of the reason I am still married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you find roommates.

Do you get along well enough you could continue to live together while seeing other people?

I'm not f***g a man still living his ex wife. Nope.

You wouldn't need to know.

OP wouldn’t even be his ex. Posters are saying they should just live apart under the same roof.

Nightmare fuel.