2 feds divorcing in MoCo with young kids

[Anonymous]

The spouse being “just not happy” probably means an affair. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids stay in current house. You and spouse split rent on a cheap, nearby studio or 1BR apartment. The two adults take turns shuttling between the two residences, rather than the kids.

If you can be civil and this is a low-conflict dissolution of the marriage, this is the best outcome for kids, parents, and your bank accounts.

+1. Or each of them rent a basement or bedroom in someone's house while the kids stay at the family house and the parents rotate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The spouse being “just not happy” probably means an affair. Sorry, OP.

Yeah, she got caught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep looking at the numbers and have no idea how either of us can afford to live as single people with kids on a fed salary. Am I right that maintaining two households in MoCo and affording daily life is completely out of reach on federal salaries? Has anyone been through this that can share?

Live in a condo community in a place with good public schools. That is what I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't buy a condo. Renting is better. It sounds like you might still be under 40, maybe even 35, so you might be able to find a new partner quickly if you set your expectations accordingly.

Come on now. OP needs to focus their attention on their children and find an eff buddy, not a serious relationship.

No, she needs a sugar daddy. Or at least a roommate with benefits.

You’re gross.

No one tells men to consider selling their bodies to survive. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t want to raise my kids in an apartment or condo. When it’s a baby, fine, once they get to elementary school no way.

House or townhouse only.

People survive, even thrive, being raised in apartments. Time to grow up and leave the bubble.

For a single parent it makes sense—no yard work, no shoveling snow. All the common areas (such as roofing) are covered by the condo fees.

What kids needs most to grow into healthy adults is not a SFH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rent 1-bedroom apartment with den. This is not a time to buy or to 'deserve a 3-bedroom'.
I left my partner while making $45k take home. My 1-bedroom is $2k and includes all utilities, gym, parking, pool, store, and front desk in lovely NW neighborhood. Rents just went down also.
DC doesn't care where he lives. Loves his school and friends as I stayed in the same neighborhood.
I could easily squeeze two kids in here, but the older one turned 18 and started college.

If you do this, the kids are going to want to just stay at whichever parent has more space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't buy a condo. Renting is better. It sounds like you might still be under 40, maybe even 35, so you might be able to find a new partner quickly if you set your expectations accordingly.

Come on now. OP needs to focus their attention on their children and find an eff buddy, not a serious relationship.

No, she needs a sugar daddy. Or at least a roommate with benefits.

You’re gross.

No one tells men to consider selling their bodies to survive. 🙄

Because that's typically not an option for men. I'm guessing that we wouldn't even need to suggest it if it were possible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised more people with kids don’t try to stay together for financial reasons.

Op - have you tried marital counseling?

And what, live in celibacy? Bring home dates while the other person sleeps in the guest room?

[Anonymous]

Do you have a SFH OP?

Anyway to make an apartment in the basement (bathroom & separate entrance being biggest hurdles if not already there)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised more people with kids don’t try to stay together for financial reasons.

Op - have you tried marital counseling?

And what, live in celibacy? Bring home dates while the other person sleeps in the guest room?

Sleepovers go to the other house.

[Anonymous]

Apartments near each other in Silver Spring or Rockville. The proximity is especially important for MS and HS when kids tend to forget important things at the other parent’s home.

[Anonymous]

Sad how many people would rather live in a fake marriage than do anything else. Very telling. And also, these “arrangements” never work like you think they are going to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised more people with kids don’t try to stay together for financial reasons.

Op - have you tried marital counseling?

And what, live in celibacy? Bring home dates while the other person sleeps in the guest room?

Sleepovers go to the other house.

You people are truly deluded. So the deal is neither partner will want to co-habitate or marry someone else for the next 10+ years? It’s just “dad’s staying at Uncle Brian’s again” until Larlo is off to college?

Be serious. Someone is going to meet someone and want to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The spouse being “just not happy” probably means an affair. Sorry, OP.

Yeah, she got caught.

The husband wants the divorce, but nice try