Wwyd re father in law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean, "what would you do?" He left. What is there to do?

Is your daughter his grandaughter?

Why are you expecting him to pay for things when you are the host?

Daughter is granddaughter.

Yes I expect people to make an attempt to at least help when they’re staying with me. I expect at least a lukewarm attempt to pay the bill.

I do not expect someone to clean out a fridge and take with them sodas and snacks. They’re flying so not sure what ended up with these items.

Given that he doesn’t appear to understand any of this, you may need to use your words to tell him what you want next time he visits you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a breath. Calculate the entire value of the food items. Put a dollar amount on that

then put a dollar amount on other products and services in your life. You will see this is not a big problem

You are a big boy/ girl —whatever you are (Poster did not describe a bio).

What??? Why???
"He stole 42 dollars from you fridge. He's also rude to you. Take a deep breath. This is ok. Invite him back next week with a smile." No thanks.

Op here. I didn’t post the above but I agree with it. You don’t go to someone’s house and act like a goddamn baby and expect me to invite you again with a smile. Not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what was the purpose of this visit? Who invited him? If you're not doing so well financially or health wise, perhaps you shouldn't have offered to host?

Op here. He sincerely invited himself.

Op again. I think he had nowhere to go. His girlfriend just dumped him so he told my husband he’d like to see us.

Saying you'd like to visit someone is how these things go. Do you normally issue engraved invitations for visits?

Usually people are invited. Do you usually demand to stay at someone’s house and make them pay for every meal and never offer to clean up after yourself and dominate every conversation and then steal food from a refrigerator on your way out?

No, they really aren't always invited. They say "I'm thinking of coming out for a visit...." because they know when it's family there is a standing invitation. People visit when they can and figure out a date that works. Do you ever visit family out of state? Do they formally invite you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you speak up at the time? Did you encourage your daughter to have a conversation with her grandfather? ( Is she little? Is she a teenager? If she’s little she might not have much to say to an old man if she’s a teenager is she with her head buried in her phone the whole time?)

How many sodas and how much fruit are we talking about a 12 pack or two cans? A couple oranges or 10 apples?

Yes i definitely did and scheduled activities for the grandparents and grandchildren to do alone. And the grandpa made a half hearted attempt and went back to doomscrolling Facebook. She’s a teenager and doesn’t own a phone. She ended up ice skating by herself.

Re sodas- I’m talking at least 12-15 sodas. No clue what he did with them when he arrived at the airport.

Re fruit- I’m talking an entire unopened container of cut fruit from Costco and an entire blueberry container from Costco. An entire family pack of chips from Costco. An entire family bag of mandarins. I don’t even know how he stashed it in his luggage.

That’s a lot of fruit and soda to take but You should’ve spoken up on the spot about it on the spot.

You know what is on you. Ice-skating! That is crazy. He is old. They can break a hip bone and die.😂

He stole all the food while we were at work. He left the house after we left for work and droppped the keys in the mail slot. I’m pretty sure he stole a bunch of granola bars and cookies too but the fresh fruit and soda were the most glaring.

So ... neither you nor your husband took him to the airport? That's awful.

No it is not awful. I’m not a Lyft driver. Also and you might not be aware of this if you live in the middle of nowhere, the traffic to airports in major cities is such that you take a cab or car service you don’t expect your relative to take a day off from work to drop you off. We did pick him up because it was after work hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a breath. Calculate the entire value of the food items. Put a dollar amount on that

then put a dollar amount on other products and services in your life. You will see this is not a big problem

You are a big boy/ girl —whatever you are (Poster did not describe a bio).

What??? Why???
"He stole 42 dollars from you fridge. He's also rude to you. Take a deep breath. This is ok. Invite him back next week with a smile." No thanks.

Op here. I didn’t post the above but I agree with it. You don’t go to someone’s house and act like a goddamn baby and expect me to invite you again with a smile. Not interested.

He doesn't sit and wait for invitations from you he probably figures it out with his son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what was the purpose of this visit? Who invited him? If you're not doing so well financially or health wise, perhaps you shouldn't have offered to host?

Op here. He sincerely invited himself.

Op again. I think he had nowhere to go. His girlfriend just dumped him so he told my husband he’d like to see us.

Saying you'd like to visit someone is how these things go. Do you normally issue engraved invitations for visits?

Usually people are invited. Do you usually demand to stay at someone’s house and make them pay for every meal and never offer to clean up after yourself and dominate every conversation and then steal food from a refrigerator on your way out?

No, they really aren't always invited. They say "I'm thinking of coming out for a visit...." because they know when it's family there is a standing invitation. People visit when they can and figure out a date that works. Do you ever visit family out of state? Do they formally invite you?

That is different than “let me send you my flight information I’m coming for Thanksgiving”.

I don’t invite myself to people’s homes who are struggling and become a burden for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a breath. Calculate the entire value of the food items. Put a dollar amount on that

then put a dollar amount on other products and services in your life. You will see this is not a big problem

You are a big boy/ girl —whatever you are (Poster did not describe a bio).

What??? Why???
"He stole 42 dollars from you fridge. He's also rude to you. Take a deep breath. This is ok. Invite him back next week with a smile." No thanks.

Op here. I didn’t post the above but I agree with it. You don’t go to someone’s house and act like a goddamn baby and expect me to invite you again with a smile. Not interested.

He doesn't sit and wait for invitations from you he probably figures it out with his son.

No he sent his flight information to us. That’s how we found out he was coming.

Not sure why you’re literally making things up to excuse this selfish old man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what was the purpose of this visit? Who invited him? If you're not doing so well financially or health wise, perhaps you shouldn't have offered to host?

Op here. He sincerely invited himself.

Sorry, that won't work for us. We'll see you in March at Aunt Marge's niece's wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a breath. Calculate the entire value of the food items. Put a dollar amount on that

then put a dollar amount on other products and services in your life. You will see this is not a big problem

You are a big boy/ girl —whatever you are (Poster did not describe a bio).

What??? Why???
"He stole 42 dollars from you fridge. He's also rude to you. Take a deep breath. This is ok. Invite him back next week with a smile." No thanks.

Op here. I didn’t post the above but I agree with it. You don’t go to someone’s house and act like a goddamn baby and expect me to invite you again with a smile. Not interested.

He doesn't sit and wait for invitations from you he probably figures it out with his son.

No he sent his flight information to us. That’s how we found out he was coming.

Not sure why you’re literally making things up to excuse this selfish old man.

Better stay nice or you will inherit nothing since his wallet seems to be the thing you value most. Play the long game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a breath. Calculate the entire value of the food items. Put a dollar amount on that

then put a dollar amount on other products and services in your life. You will see this is not a big problem

You are a big boy/ girl —whatever you are (Poster did not describe a bio).

What??? Why???
"He stole 42 dollars from you fridge. He's also rude to you. Take a deep breath. This is ok. Invite him back next week with a smile." No thanks.

Op here. I didn’t post the above but I agree with it. You don’t go to someone’s house and act like a goddamn baby and expect me to invite you again with a smile. Not interested.

He doesn't sit and wait for invitations from you he probably figures it out with his son.

No he sent his flight information to us. That’s how we found out he was coming.

Not sure why you’re literally making things up to excuse this selfish old man.

I am fascinated and disgusted by your passiveness. I'd just write back "We won't be able to host you - there's a good hotel nearby if you want to visit with us while you're in town." You seem to lack the capability to set boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a breath. Calculate the entire value of the food items. Put a dollar amount on that

then put a dollar amount on other products and services in your life. You will see this is not a big problem

You are a big boy/ girl —whatever you are (Poster did not describe a bio).

What??? Why???
"He stole 42 dollars from you fridge. He's also rude to you. Take a deep breath. This is ok. Invite him back next week with a smile." No thanks.

Op here. I didn’t post the above but I agree with it. You don’t go to someone’s house and act like a goddamn baby and expect me to invite you again with a smile. Not interested.

He doesn't sit and wait for invitations from you he probably figures it out with his son.

No he sent his flight information to us. That’s how we found out he was coming.

Not sure why you’re literally making things up to excuse this selfish old man.

I am fascinated and disgusted by your passiveness. I'd just write back "We won't be able to host you - there's a good hotel nearby if you want to visit with us while you're in town." You seem to lack the capability to set boundaries.

I love how you blame the woman and don’t expect the man to act like a normal person. It’s my fault for not telling him not to steal food. It’s my fault for not telling him that he needs to allow other people to speak. It’s my fault for not making him bond with his grandkids. Interesting. You should do some self reflection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a breath. Calculate the entire value of the food items. Put a dollar amount on that

then put a dollar amount on other products and services in your life. You will see this is not a big problem

You are a big boy/ girl —whatever you are (Poster did not describe a bio).

What??? Why???
"He stole 42 dollars from you fridge. He's also rude to you. Take a deep breath. This is ok. Invite him back next week with a smile." No thanks.

Op here. I didn’t post the above but I agree with it. You don’t go to someone’s house and act like a goddamn baby and expect me to invite you again with a smile. Not interested.

He doesn't sit and wait for invitations from you he probably figures it out with his son.

No he sent his flight information to us. That’s how we found out he was coming.

Not sure why you’re literally making things up to excuse this selfish old man.

Better stay nice or you will inherit nothing since his wallet seems to be the thing you value most. Play the long game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a breath. Calculate the entire value of the food items. Put a dollar amount on that

then put a dollar amount on other products and services in your life. You will see this is not a big problem

You are a big boy/ girl —whatever you are (Poster did not describe a bio).

What??? Why???
"He stole 42 dollars from you fridge. He's also rude to you. Take a deep breath. This is ok. Invite him back next week with a smile." No thanks.

Op here. I didn’t post the above but I agree with it. You don’t go to someone’s house and act like a goddamn baby and expect me to invite you again with a smile. Not interested.

He doesn't sit and wait for invitations from you he probably figures it out with his son.

No he sent his flight information to us. That’s how we found out he was coming.

Not sure why you’re literally making things up to excuse this selfish old man.

Better stay nice or you will inherit nothing since his wallet seems to be the thing you value most. Play the long game.

You have a lot of internalized hatred towards women.

[Anonymous]

I think he is lying that he is well off. He might be broke and he is most likely mentally ill. Not saying you should host him just because of that but it helps understand what’s going on.
Ideally you should block his number, so that he can’t tell you he’s coming. He can show up on your doorstep though

[Anonymous]

But next time no restaurants for him and dollar store menu at home