Is this cheating? I’d assume it’s not common

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

OP here.

You are reading way too much into it, maybe you're projecting? I never accused her of cheating, I actually thought it was funny that they did it. Masturbation is not an uncomfortable topic in our house, everyone does it, no big deal. I made the statement of " it's funny that since it is 2 Women, no one would have an issue, but if I did it with a female, there would be an issue" and she said there would be. I thought that was interesting and wanted other opinions. Maybe "cheating" was the wrong word. She said it was more common to talk about it (and even do it together) than I'd think, so I figured I'd ask if it was. Based on responses, it does not look like it

"I did say it’s slightly cheating"
You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself.

The slightly cheating part is that
Other person knew DW was taking care of herself.
Other person knew timing of it (happening at the same time)
Other person knew the kink that inspired it.

Dw can do whatever but let’s leave other person out of the details of when/why.

In addition, DW knew this other person was doing it, when, and the kink that inspired it.

The kink might have been.. exactly this. Let’s MB at the same time, hot, let’s go.

Thats a huge massive massive step toward sex together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the two people masturbating are doing it because of sexual attraction between them, then I think it's shading into cheating. But if they're just being silly (or weird) and have no desire to be sexual with each other, then no.

I assume OP's wife's position reflects this: she isn't attracted to her friend, but if her husband did this with a female friend, she would assume that reflects some attraction, given OP's and OP's wife's sexual orientation (hetero).

!!

If it’s strictly between H&W though, then I would argue that not only is it ok, it’s kinda hot.

I mean, have none of you even been to the fertility clinic and followed DH into the locked room? They even tell you it’s allowed and provide a chair for you (or they are supposed to tell you).

[Anonymous]

Troll thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW (50) had lunch with a friend she sees a few time a month. Apparently there was some hot topic brought up, and the friend said she can’t wait to get home and "take care of business". Somehow this became a game of they both went home to do so as a race to see who could finish first. She showed me texts where they both started, who "won" etc.

I thought it was kind of hot, but did say it’s slightly cheating, she disagrees and says it’s more common than I’d think, and just harmless fun. It’s cheating right?

I think women just have fewer hang ups with their friends over talking openly, especially once they reach our age. Seems kinda normal.

[Anonymous]

The friendship sounds really Klassy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the two people masturbating are doing it because of sexual attraction between them, then I think it's shading into cheating. But if they're just being silly (or weird) and have no desire to be sexual with each other, then no.

I assume OP's wife's position reflects this: she isn't attracted to her friend, but if her husband did this with a female friend, she would assume that reflects some attraction, given OP's and OP's wife's sexual orientation (hetero).

!!

If it’s strictly between H&W though, then I would argue that not only is it ok, it’s kinda hot.

I mean, have none of you even been to the fertility clinic and followed DH into the locked room? They even tell you it’s allowed and provide a chair for you (or they are supposed to tell you).

I don't think you understand OP's scenario

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

OP here.

You are reading way too much into it, maybe you're projecting? I never accused her of cheating, I actually thought it was funny that they did it. Masturbation is not an uncomfortable topic in our house, everyone does it, no big deal. I made the statement of " it's funny that since it is 2 Women, no one would have an issue, but if I did it with a female, there would be an issue" and she said there would be. I thought that was interesting and wanted other opinions. Maybe "cheating" was the wrong word. She said it was more common to talk about it (and even do it together) than I'd think, so I figured I'd ask if it was. Based on responses, it does not look like it

"I did say it’s slightly cheating"
You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself.

The slightly cheating part is that
Other person knew DW was taking care of herself.
Other person knew timing of it (happening at the same time)
Other person knew the kink that inspired it.

Dw can do whatever but let’s leave other person out of the details of when/why.

"You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself."
So is your response a big fat NO to the bolded? If you ever watch porn or use instagram pics to get yourself off, you have absolutely no leg to stand on here. Sounds like youre jealous of the vibrator and thats never a good look for a man.

[Anonymous]

No I wouldn’t think so - unless your DW is a lesbian.

[Anonymous]

This is just… bizarre. My friends and I are pretty open and this would just… never happen. I honestly think it might be more than just a funny competition between friends, even if it’s maybe not cheating (yet.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

OP here.

You are reading way too much into it, maybe you're projecting? I never accused her of cheating, I actually thought it was funny that they did it. Masturbation is not an uncomfortable topic in our house, everyone does it, no big deal. I made the statement of " it's funny that since it is 2 Women, no one would have an issue, but if I did it with a female, there would be an issue" and she said there would be. I thought that was interesting and wanted other opinions. Maybe "cheating" was the wrong word. She said it was more common to talk about it (and even do it together) than I'd think, so I figured I'd ask if it was. Based on responses, it does not look like it

"I did say it’s slightly cheating"
You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself.

OP here.

Pleasuring herself is not the issue, I assume you missed the part where she involved another person while doing so. She wouldn’t be ok if I involved another person, why the double standard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

OP here.

You are reading way too much into it, maybe you're projecting? I never accused her of cheating, I actually thought it was funny that they did it. Masturbation is not an uncomfortable topic in our house, everyone does it, no big deal. I made the statement of " it's funny that since it is 2 Women, no one would have an issue, but if I did it with a female, there would be an issue" and she said there would be. I thought that was interesting and wanted other opinions. Maybe "cheating" was the wrong word. She said it was more common to talk about it (and even do it together) than I'd think, so I figured I'd ask if it was. Based on responses, it does not look like it

"I did say it’s slightly cheating"
You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself.

The slightly cheating part is that
Other person knew DW was taking care of herself.
Other person knew timing of it (happening at the same time)
Other person knew the kink that inspired it.

Dw can do whatever but let’s leave other person out of the details of when/why.

"You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself."
So is your response a big fat NO to the bolded? If you ever watch porn or use instagram pics to get yourself off, you have absolutely no leg to stand on here. Sounds like youre jealous of the vibrator and thats never a good look for a man.

You know different people are answering here right? The OP didn’t type the reply you’re quoting.

Just to be sure, watching porn is the exact same as texting someone before, during, and after in your view? You’d be ok with your DH texting a girl while getting off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird and borderline cheating. If she did that with a guy friend, you’d consider it cheating so…

Meh. There are many things that female friends do around each other or say to each other that they do not do with guy friends.

For example, if a woman changed clothes in the same room with a female friend it would be okay. But if she changed in the same room with a guy friend it will be suspicious.

Female friends can tell each other how horny they are without worrying it would be misunderstood as an invitation, but we don't do that with guy friends.

DH here.

True. Whenever we go out socially to restaurants or theater with couples we know, DW invariably takes her friend along to the ladies toilet, and they must have conversations while sitting there pooping or doing whatever it is they need to do in the stall.

Uhh, women don't talk to other women while they're dropping a deuce. It's tinkle talk.

[Anonymous]

It is really weird. Adult women don't masturbate together and talk about it over text.

It is sexual, some kind of kink or porn fantasy for them. Weird.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the fantasy scenario…

[Anonymous]

This is like a penthouse fantasy. No way this really happened.