Is this cheating? I’d assume it’s not common

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW (50) had lunch with a friend she sees a few time a month. Apparently there was some hot topic brought up, and the friend said she can’t wait to get home and "take care of business". Somehow this became a game of they both went home to do so as a race to see who could finish first. She showed me texts where they both started, who "won" etc.

I thought it was kind of hot, but did say it’s slightly cheating, she disagrees and says it’s more common than I’d think, and just harmless fun. It’s cheating right?

I think women just have fewer hang ups with their friends over talking openly, especially once they reach our age. Seems kinda normal.

Not at all normal (or common).

[Anonymous]

Not cheating. And also it didn’t happen.

No woman ever had this conversation with a friend other than in a porn movie made for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not cheating. And also it didn’t happen.

No woman ever had this conversation with a friend other than in a porn movie made for men.

I assure you it did, I saw the texts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird and borderline cheating. If she did that with a guy friend, you’d consider it cheating so…

Meh. There are many things that female friends do around each other or say to each other that they do not do with guy friends.

For example, if a woman changed clothes in the same room with a female friend it would be okay. But if she changed in the same room with a guy friend it will be suspicious.

Female friends can tell each other how horny they are without worrying it would be misunderstood as an invitation, but we don't do that with guy friends.

DH here.

True. Whenever we go out socially to restaurants or theater with couples we know, DW invariably takes her friend along to the ladies toilet, and they must have conversations while sitting there pooping or doing whatever it is they need to do in the stall.

Uhh, women don't talk to other women while they're dropping a deuce. It's tinkle talk.

ROTFL @ “tinkle talk.” lol.

Thanks! I’m going to steal that on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

OP here.

You are reading way too much into it, maybe you're projecting? I never accused her of cheating, I actually thought it was funny that they did it. Masturbation is not an uncomfortable topic in our house, everyone does it, no big deal. I made the statement of " it's funny that since it is 2 Women, no one would have an issue, but if I did it with a female, there would be an issue" and she said there would be. I thought that was interesting and wanted other opinions. Maybe "cheating" was the wrong word. She said it was more common to talk about it (and even do it together) than I'd think, so I figured I'd ask if it was. Based on responses, it does not look like it

"I did say it’s slightly cheating"
You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself.

The slightly cheating part is that
Other person knew DW was taking care of herself.
Other person knew timing of it (happening at the same time)
Other person knew the kink that inspired it.

Dw can do whatever but let’s leave other person out of the details of when/why.

"You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself."
So is your response a big fat NO to the bolded? If you ever watch porn or use instagram pics to get yourself off, you have absolutely no leg to stand on here. Sounds like youre jealous of the vibrator and thats never a good look for a man.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

OP here.

You are reading way too much into it, maybe you're projecting? I never accused her of cheating, I actually thought it was funny that they did it. Masturbation is not an uncomfortable topic in our house, everyone does it, no big deal. I made the statement of " it's funny that since it is 2 Women, no one would have an issue, but if I did it with a female, there would be an issue" and she said there would be. I thought that was interesting and wanted other opinions. Maybe "cheating" was the wrong word. She said it was more common to talk about it (and even do it together) than I'd think, so I figured I'd ask if it was. Based on responses, it does not look like it

"I did say it’s slightly cheating"
You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself.

The slightly cheating part is that
Other person knew DW was taking care of herself.
Other person knew timing of it (happening at the same time)
Other person knew the kink that inspired it.

Dw can do whatever but let’s leave other person out of the details of when/why.

"You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself."
So is your response a big fat NO to the bolded? If you ever watch porn or use instagram pics to get yourself off, you have absolutely no leg to stand on here. Sounds like youre jealous of the vibrator and thats never a good look for a man.

This.

Again, pleasuring herself is not the issue. Involving another person in the act is different than doing it alone. You’d be ok with your partner doing it with someone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume this is the two women going to home to masturbate. And I do not think it's cheating, but maybe a little weird. Sort of like a circle jerk.

Or vixen/stag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not cheating. And also it didn’t happen.

No woman ever had this conversation with a friend other than in a porn movie made for men.

I assure you it did, I saw the texts.

I think you misinterpreted the texts. Again, woman after woman on this thread is telling you no women would have this conversation.

Perhaps they were talking about who was running home to eat a big slice of cake, or binge watch outlander, which is believable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not cheating. And also it didn’t happen.

No woman ever had this conversation with a friend other than in a porn movie made for men.

I assure you it did, I saw the texts.

I think you misinterpreted the texts. Again, woman after woman on this thread is telling you no women would have this conversation.

Perhaps they were talking about who was running home to eat a big slice of cake, or binge watch outlander, which is believable.

OP. She told me that’s what they did and showed me the texts where they started, finished, how many o, etc.
She thought it was funny that it happened, and said it was fun. It’s pretty clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it cheating when sex with has been very infrequent (obligation), and your wife masturbates (solo) to take of her needs? In my view it’s a form of cheating, even though she isn’t having sex,hooking up, or having intimate conversations with another.

I’m debating whether have a conversation with about this this, and to frame it as cheating.

NO. People are always entitled to touch their own bodies as they see fit. [/quote


Yes, people are entitled to touch their own bodies. If wife (low sex drive) touching herself to fulfill her needs, while not being intimate with husband (who wants to), that comes close to cheating. Wife hasn’t touched herself during sex or encouraged me, to have an O.

Especially when husband has no idea.

[Anonymous]

Touching yourself is not cheating. No matter how little you touch someone else. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do most women rush home to masturbate before husband and kids get home?

Yes. And or what do you think they’re doing in the bathtub?

Most women are soaking and relaxing. Not masturbating.

Oh… When they’re up there in the bath, you hear the water drain and that water starts running again – faucet turned into Bob real quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW (50) had lunch with a friend she sees a few time a month. Apparently there was some hot topic brought up, and the friend said she can’t wait to get home and "take care of business". Somehow this became a game of they both went home to do so as a race to see who could finish first. She showed me texts where they both started, who "won" etc.

I thought it was kind of hot, but did say it’s slightly cheating, she disagrees and says it’s more common than I’d think, and just harmless fun. It’s cheating right?

I think women just have fewer hang ups with their friends over talking openly, especially once they reach our age. Seems kinda normal.

Not at all normal (or common).

What, exactly?

The OP’s post covers a lot of territory (and he’s returned several times; he is not a troll).

What exactly do you think is NOT normal, PP?

- is it that married women in their 50s MB?

- is it they share details with close girlfriends?

- is it that you doubt they are willing to talk about s*x in private when talking/text their friends? Commiserate about their marital s*x lives in their 50s?

This whole thing sounds within the realm of normal for the women/age/circumstance here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Touching yourself is not cheating. No matter how little you touch someone else. Get over yourself.

Maybe not. But if the extent of the wife’s sexual activity is solo and is discrete about it, it’s just a level below. This assumes that the husband doesn’t lack interest. Regardless, the couples sex life isn’t together in this scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Touching yourself is not cheating. No matter how little you touch someone else. Get over yourself.

Right?! A person would have to feel very entitled to someone else’s body to think that any touching of that body, even by the body’s owner, is cheating.