Is this cheating? I’d assume it’s not common

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird and borderline cheating. If she did that with a guy friend, you’d consider it cheating so…

Meh. There are many things that female friends do around each other or say to each other that they do not do with guy friends.

For example, if a woman changed clothes in the same room with a female friend it would be okay. But if she changed in the same room with a guy friend it will be suspicious.

Female friends can tell each other how horny they are without worrying it would be misunderstood as an invitation, but we don't do that with guy friends.

DH here.

True. Whenever we go out socially to restaurants or theater with couples we know, DW invariably takes her friend along to the ladies toilet, and they must have conversations while sitting there pooping or doing whatever it is they need to do in the stall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its a little weird. Do you think she is bisexual or perhaps trying to segway into a threesome?

It's segue.

Unless the fantasy involves riding in on a Segway...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume this is the two women going to home to masturbate. And I do not think it's cheating, but maybe a little weird. Sort of like a circle jerk.

Exactly, and gotta love DCUM. It’s 2 women, I’m the husband. I think it’s "slightly" cheating. I asked if she’d care if I did it with a female friend, and "that’s different"

DH here: with respect, my friend, debating the metaphysics of whether or not this is “cheating” seems to me suboptimal here. There are all sorts of better ways to leverage this…..

Right? OP is working hard to turn a W into an L.

[Anonymous]

You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do most women rush home to masturbate before husband and kids get home?

Yes. And or what do you think they’re doing in the bathtub?

Most women are soaking and relaxing. Not masturbating.

Who's gonna say it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume this is the two women going to home to masturbate. And I do not think it's cheating, but maybe a little weird. Sort of like a circle jerk.

Exactly, and gotta love DCUM. It’s 2 women, I’m the husband. I think it’s "slightly" cheating. I asked if she’d care if I did it with a female friend, and "that’s different"

DH here: with respect, my friend, debating the metaphysics of whether or not this is “cheating” seems to me suboptimal here. There are all sorts of better ways to leverage this…..

Right? OP is working hard to turn a W into an L.

It was not a W for him. His wife had solo fun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How in the hell is that cheating?

Would you see it as not cheating if both women were lesbians?

How about bi ?

What if instead of texting, they face-timed / used a web cam while they “took care of business” together ?

And what if I was a billionaire?

Cheating is not based off of "what ifs". Come back to reality and stop making up scenarios to suit your narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do most women rush home to masturbate before husband and kids get home?

Yes. And or what do you think they’re doing in the bathtub?

Most women are soaking and relaxing. Not masturbating.

Who's gonna say it?

+1 🤗

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

NP.

In the relationship book, “Come as You Are,” the author reveals her discovery in her marriage counseling work (hers and that of many of her colleagues), that this is extremely common in modern western marriages.

She describes how common it is for the wife to have no interest whatsoever in intimacy with her husband after a few years of marriage, but yet: her libido remains intact and she will (in the author’s words) “buzz herself to sleep every night” (using a vibrator).

The book goes into the myriad reasons so many marriages end up this way (or a variation thereof, but basically she’s describing sexless marriages).

It’s a worthwhile read for all, even if you are not in a sexless marriage. It’s less expensive than therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

OP here.

You are reading way too much into it, maybe you're projecting? I never accused her of cheating, I actually thought it was funny that they did it. Masturbation is not an uncomfortable topic in our house, everyone does it, no big deal. I made the statement of " it's funny that since it is 2 Women, no one would have an issue, but if I did it with a female, there would be an issue" and she said there would be. I thought that was interesting and wanted other opinions. Maybe "cheating" was the wrong word. She said it was more common to talk about it (and even do it together) than I'd think, so I figured I'd ask if it was. Based on responses, it does not look like it

[Anonymous]

Who tf are you people saying this is “a little” weird? This is extremely f-ing weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

OP here.

You are reading way too much into it, maybe you're projecting? I never accused her of cheating, I actually thought it was funny that they did it. Masturbation is not an uncomfortable topic in our house, everyone does it, no big deal. I made the statement of " it's funny that since it is 2 Women, no one would have an issue, but if I did it with a female, there would be an issue" and she said there would be. I thought that was interesting and wanted other opinions. Maybe "cheating" was the wrong word. She said it was more common to talk about it (and even do it together) than I'd think, so I figured I'd ask if it was. Based on responses, it does not look like it

"I did say it’s slightly cheating"
You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it cheating when sex with has been very infrequent (obligation), and your wife masturbates (solo) to take of her needs? In my view it’s a form of cheating, even though she isn’t having sex,hooking up, or having intimate conversations with another.

I’m debating whether have a conversation with about this this, and to frame it as cheating.

NO. People are always entitled to touch their own bodies as they see fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who tf are you people saying this is “a little” weird? This is extremely f-ing weird.

Yeah, it's one step away from each doing it while on the phone watching each other. And maybe that comes next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you. So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling. This isn't cheating. It's weird. And obviously there are issues in your marriage. It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life. But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen.

OP here.

You are reading way too much into it, maybe you're projecting? I never accused her of cheating, I actually thought it was funny that they did it. Masturbation is not an uncomfortable topic in our house, everyone does it, no big deal. I made the statement of " it's funny that since it is 2 Women, no one would have an issue, but if I did it with a female, there would be an issue" and she said there would be. I thought that was interesting and wanted other opinions. Maybe "cheating" was the wrong word. She said it was more common to talk about it (and even do it together) than I'd think, so I figured I'd ask if it was. Based on responses, it does not look like it

"I did say it’s slightly cheating"
You accused your wife of cheating on you by pleasuring herself. I hope you hold yourself in the same contempt when you're taking care of yourself.

The slightly cheating part is that
Other person knew DW was taking care of herself.
Other person knew timing of it (happening at the same time)
Other person knew the kink that inspired it.

Dw can do whatever but let’s leave other person out of the details of when/why.