Husband told me I don't have enough friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea, OP, why people are being so mean to you.

Just sending you support. I would hate to spend so much time socializing. My entire family and in-laws would hate it too. It's nice we're all on the same page.

To me and my spouse and people I know, your husband is the odd one out here.

It's just one person being a troll.

Op I think you compromise you go sometimes not all the times.


ANd also why isn't he making friends with the friends you already have>


COuple friends would make more since to make friend with an activity you both enjoy.

It’s definitely not just 1 person, everyone finds her annoying AF.

Which is why I DON’T ATTEND THESE ACTIVITIES. People don’t want me around so that’s fine. Geez.

People would want you around if you didn't act so miserable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea, OP, why people are being so mean to you.

Just sending you support. I would hate to spend so much time socializing. My entire family and in-laws would hate it too. It's nice we're all on the same page.

To me and my spouse and people I know, your husband is the odd one out here.

People are being mean to her bc she is a child. She has a smart aleck response to everything and clearly posted assuming everyone would agree with her.

I am an introvery formerly married to an extrovert. (That is not why we split.) I would socialize when he wanted to, within reason, and we would have a chill weekend home when I wanted to, within reason. The point is we did it as a couple rather than one of us just saying, "You go do your thing and I'll do mine."

Do you hear yourself right now?
I can be a jackass because someone's not listening to my advice....
Real mature!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea, OP, why people are being so mean to you.

Just sending you support. I would hate to spend so much time socializing. My entire family and in-laws would hate it too. It's nice we're all on the same page.

To me and my spouse and people I know, your husband is the odd one out here.

It's just one person being a troll.

Op I think you compromise you go sometimes not all the times.


ANd also why isn't he making friends with the friends you already have>


COuple friends would make more since to make friend with an activity you both enjoy.

It’s definitely not just 1 person, everyone finds her annoying AF.

Which is why I DON’T ATTEND THESE ACTIVITIES. People don’t want me around so that’s fine. Geez.

Okay, I am starting to wonder if OP is depressed or just massively insecure. This is not a normal reaction.

OP, have you considered therapy? Genuinely trying to be supportive here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea, OP, why people are being so mean to you.

Just sending you support. I would hate to spend so much time socializing. My entire family and in-laws would hate it too. It's nice we're all on the same page.

To me and my spouse and people I know, your husband is the odd one out here.

It's just one person being a troll.

Op I think you compromise you go sometimes not all the times.


ANd also why isn't he making friends with the friends you already have>


COuple friends would make more since to make friend with an activity you both enjoy.

It’s definitely not just 1 person, everyone finds her annoying AF.

Which is why I DON’T ATTEND THESE ACTIVITIES. People don’t want me around so that’s fine. Geez.

People would want you around if you didn't act so miserable!

Another bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea, OP, why people are being so mean to you.

Just sending you support. I would hate to spend so much time socializing. My entire family and in-laws would hate it too. It's nice we're all on the same page.

To me and my spouse and people I know, your husband is the odd one out here.

It's just one person being a troll.

Op I think you compromise you go sometimes not all the times.


ANd also why isn't he making friends with the friends you already have>


COuple friends would make more since to make friend with an activity you both enjoy.

It’s definitely not just 1 person, everyone finds her annoying AF.

Which is why I DON’T ATTEND THESE ACTIVITIES. People don’t want me around so that’s fine. Geez.

People would want you around if you didn't act so miserable!

Another bully.

How is that bullying? I'm saying that's not true.

OP is acting like everyone hates her to begin with so she's not even going to try to socialize. When in reality, if anyone dislikes her, it's because she's letting her insecurity get in the way of truly getting to know people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea, OP, why people are being so mean to you.

Just sending you support. I would hate to spend so much time socializing. My entire family and in-laws would hate it too. It's nice we're all on the same page.

To me and my spouse and people I know, your husband is the odd one out here.

It's just one person being a troll.

Op I think you compromise you go sometimes not all the times.


ANd also why isn't he making friends with the friends you already have>


COuple friends would make more since to make friend with an activity you both enjoy.

It’s definitely not just 1 person, everyone finds her annoying AF.

Which is why I DON’T ATTEND THESE ACTIVITIES. People don’t want me around so that’s fine. Geez.

People would want you around if you didn't act so miserable!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea, OP, why people are being so mean to you.

Just sending you support. I would hate to spend so much time socializing. My entire family and in-laws would hate it too. It's nice we're all on the same page.

To me and my spouse and people I know, your husband is the odd one out here.

People are being mean to her bc she is a child. She has a smart aleck response to everything and clearly posted assuming everyone would agree with her.

I am an introvery formerly married to an extrovert. (That is not why we split.) I would socialize when he wanted to, within reason, and we would have a chill weekend home when I wanted to, within reason. The point is we did it as a couple rather than one of us just saying, "You go do your thing and I'll do mine."

Do you hear yourself right now?
I can be a jackass because someone's not listening to my advice....
Real mature!

Are you OP? Because you are not exactly mature yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea, OP, why people are being so mean to you.

Just sending you support. I would hate to spend so much time socializing. My entire family and in-laws would hate it too. It's nice we're all on the same page.

To me and my spouse and people I know, your husband is the odd one out here.

People are being mean to her bc she is a child. She has a smart aleck response to everything and clearly posted assuming everyone would agree with her.

I am an introvery formerly married to an extrovert. (That is not why we split.) I would socialize when he wanted to, within reason, and we would have a chill weekend home when I wanted to, within reason. The point is we did it as a couple rather than one of us just saying, "You go do your thing and I'll do mine."

Do you hear yourself right now?
I can be a jackass because someone's not listening to my advice....
Real mature!

Are you OP? Because you are not exactly mature yourself.

I'm the OP and I didn't post that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea, OP, why people are being so mean to you.

Just sending you support. I would hate to spend so much time socializing. My entire family and in-laws would hate it too. It's nice we're all on the same page.

To me and my spouse and people I know, your husband is the odd one out here.

People are being mean to her bc she is a child. She has a smart aleck response to everything and clearly posted assuming everyone would agree with her.

I am an introvery formerly married to an extrovert. (That is not why we split.) I would socialize when he wanted to, within reason, and we would have a chill weekend home when I wanted to, within reason. The point is we did it as a couple rather than one of us just saying, "You go do your thing and I'll do mine."

Do you hear yourself right now?
I can be a jackass because someone's not listening to my advice....
Real mature!

Are you OP? Because you are not exactly mature yourself.

I'm the OP and I didn't post that...

I'm sorry that some people are being mean to you. I myself have posted things and gotten snarky responses and it never feels good.

All I have said is that you should try to see things from your husband's perspective. What he said to you is not right, either, but I do understand his frustration. You seem extremely insecure and inflexible. I do agree you should consider therapy bc this goes beyond "I'm an introvert."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been married four years. I have always been introverted and reserved; my husband is extroverted and has a wide circle of friends from work, college, etc. I have a small circle of close friends that I've maintained for years (one of my best friends is someone I have known since elementary school).

Lately, many of my husband's friends have gotten married or entered into serious relationships and want to get together as couples. My husband and I have argued in the past about the fact that I don't really enjoy these gatherings: typically, my husband and the friend will talk about work or whatever their shared interest is and I'm left to make awkward small talk with the wife/partner for hours. I don't have anything against these women, but I find this really draining and haven't met anyone I see myself really becoming friends with. My husband's attitude is "I'm friends with Larlo, why can't you just make friends with Larla." I have told my husband I have zero issue with him going out and getting together with his friends without me, but he wants to drag me along.

Anyways, this came to a head last week when my husband proposed a weekend trip with another couple. The trip would center around a hobby my husband and his friend share, but is at a place I'd enjoy too. When I asked more about the trip, it's clear he envisions going off doing the 'hobby' with the friend while I hang out with the wife all day. I told him I did not know this woman well and maybe this would be better as a 'boys' trip'. My husband then blew up at me, saying "why can't you make an effort to get to be friends" and "why do women never get along with each other" and then really set me off when he said "you're going to wish you made more of an effort when we have kids and you have no one to help you."

I informed him that I have nothing against this woman, or any other woman we've gotten together with, but as an introvert I don't enjoy making small talk for hours with people I don't know well, and if the conversation is going to center around topics that aren't of interest to the wider group he and his friend should just get together solo. I was REALLY upset about the kid comment and told him I was fully capable of taking care of my own kids and did not need random women to help, but it would help me if he got off his a$$ and helped around the house occasionally. The argument continued until I had to walk away, I didn't want to say anything I'd regret. I have always been a little insecure around other women because I was bulled a bit in HS, and I think this is also part of what set me off.

I don't know if I am the crazy one here or not.

Honestly you both seem a bit immature and inflexible.
He because in his mind his wife is supposed to be his little dolly that he packs up so he can hang out with his boys. he has this vision of being BFFS with his boys for the rest of his life which is fine but he failed to factor in that other people get to have ipinions feelings and emotions. Is he going to have a meltdown when his future kids don't want to be besties with his bff's kids? When he can't go on the trip because the kids don't really travel well or would have more fun at another location? Immature.
Also he should be showing you more compassion assuming he knows about your past experience with bullying. I understand you on that ,but I can tell you not all women are terrible so make small steps. In that direction.

You say the other wves aren't terrible people so I think hanging out sometimes is not unreasonable but it should be something like a dinner out or maybe going to see a sports team or a band you all enjoy something with a built in actvity , not hey i' going to go off with my boys all day. Tht;s not couples time. That's your husband wanting a boys trip by trying to get good husband point by dragging you along.
Also he should be willing to entertain the husbands of your friends in the same way? Does he?

And if you really would like couple's friends y'all need to get into an activity together.

Comromise is key, you can do somethings with his friends, and he should br fine with you not attending all the time. And he should never ever berate or attack you for not wanting to do something

[Anonymous]

I think the real issue is that OP has self-esteem issues. Her behavior is also very childish. She is an inflexible thinker.

I am feeling so bad for her husband. It seems that he is trying to get her out of her shell by taking her a place that she will like. She is determined to make him fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been married four years. I have always been introverted and reserved; my husband is extroverted and has a wide circle of friends from work, college, etc. I have a small circle of close friends that I've maintained for years (one of my best friends is someone I have known since elementary school).

Lately, many of my husband's friends have gotten married or entered into serious relationships and want to get together as couples. My husband and I have argued in the past about the fact that I don't really enjoy these gatherings: typically, my husband and the friend will talk about work or whatever their shared interest is and I'm left to make awkward small talk with the wife/partner for hours. I don't have anything against these women, but I find this really draining and haven't met anyone I see myself really becoming friends with. My husband's attitude is "I'm friends with Larlo, why can't you just make friends with Larla." I have told my husband I have zero issue with him going out and getting together with his friends without me, but he wants to drag me along.

Anyways, this came to a head last week when my husband proposed a weekend trip with another couple. The trip would center around a hobby my husband and his friend share, but is at a place I'd enjoy too. When I asked more about the trip, it's clear he envisions going off doing the 'hobby' with the friend while I hang out with the wife all day. I told him I did not know this woman well and maybe this would be better as a 'boys' trip'. My husband then blew up at me, saying "why can't you make an effort to get to be friends" and "why do women never get along with each other" and then really set me off when he said "you're going to wish you made more of an effort when we have kids and you have no one to help you."

I informed him that I have nothing against this woman, or any other woman we've gotten together with, but as an introvert I don't enjoy making small talk for hours with people I don't know well, and if the conversation is going to center around topics that aren't of interest to the wider group he and his friend should just get together solo. I was REALLY upset about the kid comment and told him I was fully capable of taking care of my own kids and did not need random women to help, but it would help me if he got off his a$$ and helped around the house occasionally. The argument continued until I had to walk away, I didn't want to say anything I'd regret. I have always been a little insecure around other women because I was bulled a bit in HS, and I think this is also part of what set me off.

I don't know if I am the crazy one here or not.

Honestly you both seem a bit immature and inflexible.
He because in his mind his wife is supposed to be his little dolly that he packs up so he can hang out with his boys. he has this vision of being BFFS with his boys for the rest of his life which is fine but he failed to factor in that other people get to have ipinions feelings and emotions. Is he going to have a meltdown when his future kids don't want to be besties with his bff's kids? When he can't go on the trip because the kids don't really travel well or would have more fun at another location? Immature.
Also he should be showing you more compassion assuming he knows about your past experience with bullying. I understand you on that ,but I can tell you not all women are terrible so make small steps. In that direction.

You say the other wves aren't terrible people so I think hanging out sometimes is not unreasonable but it should be something like a dinner out or maybe going to see a sports team or a band you all enjoy something with a built in actvity , not hey i' going to go off with my boys all day. Tht;s not couples time. That's your husband wanting a boys trip by trying to get good husband point by dragging you along.
Also he should be willing to entertain the husbands of your friends in the same way? Does he?

And if you really would like couple's friends y'all need to get into an activity together.

Comromise is key, you can do somethings with his friends, and he should br fine with you not attending all the time. And he should never ever berate or attack you for not wanting to do something

Ehhhhh I would argue that's not what it's about. I don't think her DH is mad because she's not a doll to take to dinner with his best friends. I think he's mad his wife is refusing to even make an attempt to socialize with his friends. As several people in this thread have said, not everyone loves their spouse's friends/the friends' wives, but everyone makes an effort.

Also you said "If you would really like couple friends..." and OP has said repeatedly she does not want friends. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the real issue is that OP has self-esteem issues. Her behavior is also very childish. She is an inflexible thinker.

I am feeling so bad for her husband. It seems that he is trying to get her out of her shell by taking her a place that she will like. She is determined to make him fail.

Yeah, Idk. I don't feel super bad for him because the way he blew up at her was wildly inappropriate, but I do agree. I think he specifically suggested going to a place she would like because he wanted to compromise and she can't even meet him halfway. Someone said he sprung it on OP without asking but she said so herself in her post, he "proposed it" to her. Meaning, he's looked into it but didn't sign/pay for anything.

OP, I go to my spouse's bar conferences! And sometimes I don't even like the location! But it's nice to get to spend some time with him in a new place and see people he's known for 20+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hanging out with other couples is a common part of marriage. And yes, it is immensely helpful to be socializing with other moms when you have young kids.

No, it is not. I am not OP. For some people it is, but not for everyone. I also did not socialize with other moms when I had young kids. I spent my free time with only my kids because I had very little time and I wasn’t interested on wasting it with other moms just because we happen to have children my nights and weekends were for me and my kids.

[Anonymous]

You are not crazy. Some people are introverts. Some are not. You don’t “need” more friends. This is a “him” problem (not a “you” problem).