Husband told me I don't have enough friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound more like a b*t*h than an introvert.

This. I was mostly on her side at first bc I'm an introvert myself but omfg every response she has some curt reply. "I'm not obligated to do that." "They don't wanna hang out with me either." Good lord.

She sounds depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until you have kids. You'll be writing on here that you have no mom friends. Wonder why?

So what if it's a few hours with the other guy's wife? Shorten it if you like, by saying you need a nap or whatever. She probably isn't that excited to meet you either. You'll make it work.

That's what I told my husband: these other people probably have no desire to be around me either, so why don't the guys just do their own thing.

I can't see myself wanting mom friends.

BECAUSE THEY ARE DOING IT TO MAKE THEIR HUSBAND HAPPY. They don't care about you, but their husband wants to hang out with your husband, and instead of just throwing their hands up and saying "No can do, I wanna sit in the dark and eat saltines all weekend" they're like, "Sure, I can make that work."

Would OP husband would gladly hang out with the other DH while OP and her BFF have a spa weekend? It sounds absurd just typing that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until you have kids. You'll be writing on here that you have no mom friends. Wonder why?

So what if it's a few hours with the other guy's wife? Shorten it if you like, by saying you need a nap or whatever. She probably isn't that excited to meet you either. You'll make it work.

That's what I told my husband: these other people probably have no desire to be around me either, so why don't the guys just do their own thing.

I can't see myself wanting mom friends.

BECAUSE THEY ARE DOING IT TO MAKE THEIR HUSBAND HAPPY. They don't care about you, but their husband wants to hang out with your husband, and instead of just throwing their hands up and saying "No can do, I wanna sit in the dark and eat saltines all weekend" they're like, "Sure, I can make that work."

I think it would be different if I was saying my husband couldn't go to these events, but I have no issue with him going on a weekend trip with friends! I just don't want to go. I don't know why I am needed there.

Because your DH is trying to have a social life as a couple. He wants to have friends, he wants to have plans, he wants to meet people and when he has kids he wants them to have other kids to play with. Sorry OP. You are the A**hole.

Creating a social group requires effort to socialize. You are not willing to do that and I am finding your excuses very suspect. You are coming across as unpleasant, socially inapt, sulky and disengaged.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert too but honestly you sound inflexible and snotty. It's not the same for him to go out with couples and his wife stays at home constantly. You may find out that you DO get along with some of them, I have and they are now good friends.

Honestly, you two never should have gotten married. He's going to resent you more and more. Id think a lot before having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert too but honestly you sound inflexible and snotty. It's not the same for him to go out with couples and his wife stays at home constantly. You may find out that you DO get along with some of them, I have and they are now good friends.

Honestly, you two never should have gotten married. He's going to resent you more and more. Id think a lot before having kids.

Yeah, well judging from the responses I'm a horrible person / bad partner, etc., so yes, I am considering just leaving as clearly everyone would be better off w/o me.

[Anonymous]

NP here and an introvert. I have definitely gone on a few trips with my husband's friends and their wives. It's something my DH really values and over the years it has gotten easier and they are good people. I don't need to be besties with their wives.

I think if it was every weekend I would put my foot down but OP does sound a bit stubborn.

And now that we have a kid I have definitely been the one to go out and make neighborhood friends for my DC's sake and it is frustrating when DH doesn't make an effort. That being said the comment about "nobody helping you" is bizarre. When you have kids it's not going to much help to be friends with random women without kids or with kids of very different ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until you have kids. You'll be writing on here that you have no mom friends. Wonder why?

So what if it's a few hours with the other guy's wife? Shorten it if you like, by saying you need a nap or whatever. She probably isn't that excited to meet you either. You'll make it work.

That's what I told my husband: these other people probably have no desire to be around me either, so why don't the guys just do their own thing.

I can't see myself wanting mom friends.

BECAUSE THEY ARE DOING IT TO MAKE THEIR HUSBAND HAPPY. They don't care about you, but their husband wants to hang out with your husband, and instead of just throwing their hands up and saying "No can do, I wanna sit in the dark and eat saltines all weekend" they're like, "Sure, I can make that work."

Would OP husband would gladly hang out with the other DH while OP and her BFF have a spa weekend? It sounds absurd just typing that out.

I am sure. They would probably go and play golf or go for a beer.

I really think OP has low self-esteem or body issues. She may feel that she does not compare with the other wife.

-DP

[Anonymous]

Your " I'm better than them" and generally bad attitude is going to be a death sentence for your marriage. You also need to suck it up and be friendly with moms when your kid is little for the sake of their friendships. Becoming known as the snotty mom who thinks she's too good for everyone will be a detriment to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert too but honestly you sound inflexible and snotty. It's not the same for him to go out with couples and his wife stays at home constantly. You may find out that you DO get along with some of them, I have and they are now good friends.

Honestly, you two never should have gotten married. He's going to resent you more and more. Id think a lot before having kids.

Yeah, well judging from the responses I'm a horrible person / bad partner, etc., so yes, I am considering just leaving as clearly everyone would be better off w/o me.

OK, drama llama. Grow up. I pity your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your " I'm better than them" and generally bad attitude is going to be a death sentence for your marriage. You also need to suck it up and be friendly with moms when your kid is little for the sake of their friendships. Becoming known as the snotty mom who thinks she's too good for everyone will be a detriment to your kids.

I don't understand why people are getting that I think I am better than other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert too but honestly you sound inflexible and snotty. It's not the same for him to go out with couples and his wife stays at home constantly. You may find out that you DO get along with some of them, I have and they are now good friends.

Honestly, you two never should have gotten married. He's going to resent you more and more. Id think a lot before having kids.

Yeah, well judging from the responses I'm a horrible person / bad partner, etc., so yes, I am considering just leaving as clearly everyone would be better off w/o me.

OMG you are absolutely ridiculous. This level of immaturity definitely makes it seem like it's less an introverted thing and more like you're just immature and ridiculous. Grow up. You sound like a child when you talk like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert too but honestly you sound inflexible and snotty. It's not the same for him to go out with couples and his wife stays at home constantly. You may find out that you DO get along with some of them, I have and they are now good friends.

Honestly, you two never should have gotten married. He's going to resent you more and more. Id think a lot before having kids.

Yeah, well judging from the responses I'm a horrible person / bad partner, etc., so yes, I am considering just leaving as clearly everyone would be better off w/o me.

OK, drama llama. Grow up. I pity your DH.

She's beyond ridiculous. A grown adult behaving like a bratty teenager is such a bad look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think either of you are crazy, per se, but he seems to lack empathy/the ability to put himself in your shoes and you're a bit of a wet blanket. And I say this as an introvert.

I don't like all of my boyfriend's friends' wives/girlfriends either, but I can make conversation with them for two hours over dinner. We recently went on a trip with two of his friends and their girlfriends' who live in another city. So, the other two girlfriends are already good friends who see each other several times a week. That was a little hard to break into but I made an effort and didn't complain. Definitely preferred to be around my boyfriend, since I knew him best, but I made the effort.

You don't have to become best friends with any of these women, but I think part of being a good partner is making an effort to get along with their friends. (Provided, you know, they aren't bad people who influence your husband to do bad things.) A weekend trip is usually like, 36-48 hours when you account for travel time. Then you add in meals as a foursome, alone time in the afternoon...you would literally only have to hang out with this woman alone for a few hours Saturday afternoon. You can't do that?

I'm assuming given the demographics of this board you are at least in your early to mid-30s and you're still complaining about not liking other women because they were mean to you in high school? A time when everyone is notoriously mean to each other? Give me a break.

HOWEVER, and this is a big however, your husband is a d-i-c-k. "You're going to wish you had more friends when we have kids and no one will help you?" Wtf is that supposed to mean? Dude, you're her husband, YOU are supposed to help her.

Tell me you're unmarried and without children, without telling me you're unmarried and without children.

I wrote that post and yes, I am unmarried without children. I understand that having mom friends is important. I still don't like the way he phrased that.

Interesting. How come you are on DCUM? No judgement. After 2016, even MAGA from around the country came to DCUM in full force, so I understand that people will find this website.

[Anonymous]

I am an introvert who married another introvert and I am here to tell you that YOU ARE NORMAL. Our kids are young adults and teens and they, too, are introverts, but they had a normal childhood with playdates and parties. We have never vacationed with friends; we have done a negligible amount of sleepovers. But this has not made anyone in our family unhappy in any way. Forcing an introvert to socialize is tantamount to abuse.

Your husband, however, is not normal. Being an extrovert is fine. But he's extremely unkind and should be more understanding of your needs. He needs to bear in mind that any children of his might also be introverts and will not take kindly to forced socializing.

Please show him my post. OP's husband, you need to reframe your thinking. If you need to socialize more than your wife can bear, do so on your own time. That's perfectly acceptable in a couple who don't have the same interests.

[Anonymous]

My husband has ZERO friends. Let me repeat again he has ZERO friends. His friends are my friends' husbands. My husband is an introvert, but he is very pleasant around people. He goes with me to most gatherings and do enjoy himself. Sometimes he just wants to be home, wich is fine.

I have always known this about him. I love him and I will never change him. He is amazing. I don't feel the burden on taking on everything we are a true partnership. He comes up with amazing date nights. He is always enthusiastic to be with me..and the sex is amazing. He just turned 50 and we have been married for 15 years. I am 42.