1 to 10, how furious would you be if your husband drove home drunk after golfing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s never an “isolated incident”. Pull off the blinders. He has a problem.

Obviously there are actually isolated incidents. You just have some bias.

You’re an idiot. Do you routinely drink and drive and think it’s no big deal? Gtfo here with your nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

Someone didn’t read the thread. That’s literally what he did - drink beer all day then do shots before getting behind the wheel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. In my house, if there is an alcohol event we pick each other up. We
Also do this for our young adult kids. It is almost never necessary but our practice is zero alcohol if you are driving so it happens on occasion.

I actually don't mind him having a weak light beer maybe two max while socializing for an hour after a golf round. He NEVER drinks while actually golfing. One of his friends just sold his company and ordered a couple of shots of whiskey while they were socializing after playing. They hit him while en route home. Thing is at country clubs, they will often make shots heavy, so those two shots of bourbon were possibly closer to four. He was thoroughly sloshed when he walked in the door.

No grown man is 'thoroughly sloshed' off of 4 drinks. Get a grip.

You could be right, it’s more likely that he did many more shots than he’s admitting. Alcoholics are good liars. For a while.

[Anonymous]

I would be livid. I know his behavior cannot be controlled, but I wouldn’t let him drive me or the kids. I’d not leave him with kids unsupervised. It’s a burden, but kids must be protected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. In my house, if there is an alcohol event we pick each other up. We
Also do this for our young adult kids. It is almost never necessary but our practice is zero alcohol if you are driving so it happens on occasion.

I actually don't mind him having a weak light beer maybe two max while socializing for an hour after a golf round. He NEVER drinks while actually golfing. One of his friends just sold his company and ordered a couple of shots of whiskey while they were socializing after playing. They hit him while en route home. Thing is at country clubs, they will often make shots heavy, so those two shots of bourbon were possibly closer to four. He was thoroughly sloshed when he walked in the door.

Four shots of whiskey are not going to make a kid sloppy drunk, much less a full grown male.

Good luck telling that to a cop. A beer or two plus 2 to 4 shots of 80 to 110 proof whiskey in under an hour is drunk.

You just moved the goalposts. Stop making this something it isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition, would you demand he cease all alcohol moving forward, for a specific period of time, or not at all? Would your reaction change if he's genuinely not a big drinker and you're 100% certain this was an isolated lapse?

0 percent furious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition, would you demand he cease all alcohol moving forward, for a specific period of time, or not at all? Would your reaction change if he's genuinely not a big drinker and you're 100% certain this was an isolated lapse?

0 percent furious.

Found the person with 4 duis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

This was not a mistake. This was a grown man whose longstanding issue of problem drinking has grown to the point where his spouse is forced to cry out for help on the Internet

Why do people this sour read their own stuff into other people’s posts? You literally have no idea if this is true.

Not pp but its sad how alcoholics in denial feel so defensive.

Are you saying every person who drives drunk is an alcoholic?

Dangerous.

.

Yup. And they are criminals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

This was not a mistake. This was a grown man whose longstanding issue of problem drinking has grown to the point where his spouse is forced to cry out for help on the Internet

Why do people this sour read their own stuff into other people’s posts? You literally have no idea if this is true.

+1

That post was so weird.

My DH is now sober. I would never have needed to crowdsource his behavior back in his drunk days, because I knew it was shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition, would you demand he cease all alcohol moving forward, for a specific period of time, or not at all? Would your reaction change if he's genuinely not a big drinker and you're 100% certain this was an isolated lapse?

How drunk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. In my house, if there is an alcohol event we pick each other up. We
Also do this for our young adult kids. It is almost never necessary but our practice is zero alcohol if you are driving so it happens on occasion.

I actually don't mind him having a weak light beer maybe two max while socializing for an hour after a golf round. He NEVER drinks while actually golfing. One of his friends just sold his company and ordered a couple of shots of whiskey while they were socializing after playing. They hit him while en route home. Thing is at country clubs, they will often make shots heavy, so those two shots of bourbon were possibly closer to four. He was thoroughly sloshed when he walked in the door.

Four shots of whiskey are not going to make a kid sloppy drunk, much less a full grown male.

Good luck telling that to a cop. A beer or two plus 2 to 4 shots of 80 to 110 proof whiskey in under an hour is drunk.

You just moved the goalposts. Stop making this something it isn't.

Do you know men who golf and then "have a quick beer" at the clubhouse bar while they chat about the round? They're not doing that for several hours, they're drinking for maybe one hour. If a man drinks one or two beers and a couple of strong shots in an hour they are going to be over-the-limit drunk in their car. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Honest question: What do the experts recommend if you leave somewhere feeling sober but fifteen minutes later in the car the alcohol starts really hitting you and you feel progressively more drunk?

[Anonymous]

Pull over.

[Anonymous]

Trying to be the alcohol nanny is a bad move and counterproductive. If he doesn't drink much it's insulting and controlling and says you don't trust him to learn from this error and correct in the future. If he is a drinker he will just hide it more. Either way you end up a nagging unhappy shrew.
I am a woman and non-drinker but overeat. DH learned not being my food police makes us both happier and me thinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trying to be the alcohol nanny is a bad move and counterproductive. If he doesn't drink much it's insulting and controlling and says you don't trust him to learn from this error and correct in the future. If he is a drinker he will just hide it more. Either way you end up a nagging unhappy shrew.
I am a woman and non-drinker but overeat. DH learned not being my food police makes us both happier and me thinner.

Does your overeating endanger others or put your DH’s assets and home at risk if you do injure someone? Can your overeating kill a small child?