1 to 10, how furious would you be if your husband drove home drunk after golfing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. In my house, if there is an alcohol event we pick each other up. We
Also do this for our young adult kids. It is almost never necessary but our practice is zero alcohol if you are driving so it happens on occasion.

I actually don't mind him having a weak light beer maybe two max while socializing for an hour after a golf round. He NEVER drinks while actually golfing. One of his friends just sold his company and ordered a couple of shots of whiskey while they were socializing after playing. They hit him while en route home. Thing is at country clubs, they will often make shots heavy, so those two shots of bourbon were possibly closer to four. He was thoroughly sloshed when he walked in the door.

Four shots of whiskey are not going to make a kid sloppy drunk, much less a full grown male.

Good luck telling that to a cop. A beer or two plus 2 to 4 shots of 80 to 110 proof whiskey in under an hour is drunk.

You just moved the goalposts. Stop making this something it isn't.

Do you know men who golf and then "have a quick beer" at the clubhouse bar while they chat about the round? They're not doing that for several hours, they're drinking for maybe one hour. If a man drinks one or two beers and a couple of strong shots in an hour they are going to be over-the-limit drunk in their car. End of story.

You are saying that. Not OP. Again, stop making things up. And yes, I'm a man who golfs and loves beer. It's very common for my to finish a round and have 3, 12 ounce lite beers in an hour or so and drive home. It's literally a nothing burger compared to the distracted, over medicated, texting loons out there.

Quite true.

Distracted driving due to phones, radio, etc. are the #1 cause of accidents on the highways.

Sleepy driving is #2 cause of accidents.

Lack of driving skills and cautiousness is #3 cause of accidents. This includes road rage, tailgating, improper merging, etc.

Weed is #4 cause of accidents and rapidly rising cause.

Drunk driving is way down the list for causing accidents and deaths. Most of those are due to being drunk and on other drugs combination. Weed and alcohol or prescriptions and alcohol are potent combos.

Wouldn’t it be great if people stopped driving distracted and under the influence? Let’s start by not driving drunk! Wouldn’t that be great?

[Anonymous]

In my case it would mean he had a brain tumor or other completely uncharacteristic event. He would lose his job, his clearance and all sorts of things. So I'd be really worried he's not ok overall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this "demand" language. Are you his probation officer or something? What a b|tch.

Just talk to him like a normal human that you love, not like a controlling shrew who spends all his money. No wonder he drinks.

Whoa, alcoholic divorced man showing up to call everyone “shrews”, right on cue. Go pound another beer Derek.

Nope, happily married for 20 years because my wife is not like this. As it happens, I don't drink a drop, personally.

Nags gonna nag, but then they're surprised at how it turns out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trying to be the alcohol nanny is a bad move and counterproductive. If he doesn't drink much it's insulting and controlling and says you don't trust him to learn from this error and correct in the future. If he is a drinker he will just hide it more. Either way you end up a nagging unhappy shrew.
I am a woman and non-drinker but overeat. DH learned not being my food police makes us both happier and me thinner.

Does your overeating endanger others or put your DH’s assets and home at risk if you do injure someone? Can your overeating kill a small child?

Point is it didn't stop the behavior it drove it underground and increased it out of defiance. So I don't know why policing would have a different result on a drinker. It would increase secret drinking, endangerment, risks, harms to other collateral damages.

Nanny isn't the answer. Like the lightbulb joke, the lightbulb has to WANT to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

This was not a mistake. This was a grown man whose longstanding issue of problem drinking has grown to the point where his spouse is forced to cry out for help on the Internet

Why do people this sour read their own stuff into other people’s posts? You literally have no idea if this is true.

Not pp but its sad how alcoholics in denial feel so defensive.

Are you saying every person who drives drunk is an alcoholic?

Dangerous.

.

Yup. And they are criminals.

So let’s assume you are not an alcoholic. You get drunk. You ask yourself “Should I drive? Since I’m not an alcoholic, it must be ok for me to drive since only alcoholics drive drunk.”

Drunks make very bad decisions. Look at your own past to confirm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. In my house, if there is an alcohol event we pick each other up. We
Also do this for our young adult kids. It is almost never necessary but our practice is zero alcohol if you are driving so it happens on occasion.

I actually don't mind him having a weak light beer maybe two max while socializing for an hour after a golf round. He NEVER drinks while actually golfing. One of his friends just sold his company and ordered a couple of shots of whiskey while they were socializing after playing. They hit him while en route home. Thing is at country clubs, they will often make shots heavy, so those two shots of bourbon were possibly closer to four. He was thoroughly sloshed when he walked in the door.

Four shots of whiskey are not going to make a kid sloppy drunk, much less a full grown male.

Good luck telling that to a cop. A beer or two plus 2 to 4 shots of 80 to 110 proof whiskey in under an hour is drunk.

You just moved the goalposts. Stop making this something it isn't.

Do you know men who golf and then "have a quick beer" at the clubhouse bar while they chat about the round? They're not doing that for several hours, they're drinking for maybe one hour. If a man drinks one or two beers and a couple of strong shots in an hour they are going to be over-the-limit drunk in their car. End of story.

You are saying that. Not OP. Again, stop making things up. And yes, I'm a man who golfs and loves beer. It's very common for my to finish a round and have 3, 12 ounce lite beers in an hour or so and drive home. It's literally a nothing burger compared to the distracted, over medicated, texting loons out there.

Quite true.

Distracted driving due to phones, radio, etc. are the #1 cause of accidents on the highways.

Sleepy driving is #2 cause of accidents.

Lack of driving skills and cautiousness is #3 cause of accidents. This includes road rage, tailgating, improper merging, etc.

Weed is #4 cause of accidents and rapidly rising cause.

Drunk driving is way down the list for causing accidents and deaths. Most of those are due to being drunk and on other drugs combination. Weed and alcohol or prescriptions and alcohol are potent combos.

Wouldn’t it be great if people stopped driving distracted and under the influence? Let’s start by not driving drunk! Wouldn’t that be great?

Meh, I drive defensively and always watch for bad drivers, so that's way down on my list of concerns. Being carjacked is more likely.

[Anonymous]

Any amount of alcohol consumption impairs reflexes as well as the person's judgment, including as to how impaired they actually are.

Add to this that if stopped by police and you have had a thing to drink, you can be convicted of DUI based on the officers observations even if you are below the legally prohibited blood alcohol limit.

The only people who drink and drive are either alcoholics, very very foolish, or both

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

This was not a mistake. This was a grown man whose longstanding issue of problem drinking has grown to the point where his spouse is forced to cry out for help on the Internet

Why do people this sour read their own stuff into other people’s posts? You literally have no idea if this is true.

Not pp but its sad how alcoholics in denial feel so defensive.

Are you saying every person who drives drunk is an alcoholic?

Dangerous.

.

Yup. And they are criminals.

So let’s assume you are not an alcoholic. You get drunk. You ask yourself “Should I drive? Since I’m not an alcoholic, it must be ok for me to drive since only alcoholics drive drunk.”

Drunks make very bad decisions. Look at your own past to confirm.

But the drunk person who is not an alcoholic would be making a good decision to drive - acc to your logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. In my house, if there is an alcohol event we pick each other up. We
Also do this for our young adult kids. It is almost never necessary but our practice is zero alcohol if you are driving so it happens on occasion.

I actually don't mind him having a weak light beer maybe two max while socializing for an hour after a golf round. He NEVER drinks while actually golfing. One of his friends just sold his company and ordered a couple of shots of whiskey while they were socializing after playing. They hit him while en route home. Thing is at country clubs, they will often make shots heavy, so those two shots of bourbon were possibly closer to four. He was thoroughly sloshed when he walked in the door.

Four shots of whiskey are not going to make a kid sloppy drunk, much less a full grown male.

Good luck telling that to a cop. A beer or two plus 2 to 4 shots of 80 to 110 proof whiskey in under an hour is drunk.

You just moved the goalposts. Stop making this something it isn't.

Do you know men who golf and then "have a quick beer" at the clubhouse bar while they chat about the round? They're not doing that for several hours, they're drinking for maybe one hour. If a man drinks one or two beers and a couple of strong shots in an hour they are going to be over-the-limit drunk in their car. End of story.

You are saying that. Not OP. Again, stop making things up. And yes, I'm a man who golfs and loves beer. It's very common for my to finish a round and have 3, 12 ounce lite beers in an hour or so and drive home. It's literally a nothing burger compared to the distracted, over medicated, texting loons out there.

Quite true.

Distracted driving due to phones, radio, etc. are the #1 cause of accidents on the highways.

Sleepy driving is #2 cause of accidents.

Lack of driving skills and cautiousness is #3 cause of accidents. This includes road rage, tailgating, improper merging, etc.

Weed is #4 cause of accidents and rapidly rising cause.

Drunk driving is way down the list for causing accidents and deaths. Most of those are due to being drunk and on other drugs combination. Weed and alcohol or prescriptions and alcohol are potent combos.

Wouldn’t it be great if people stopped driving distracted and under the influence? Let’s start by not driving drunk! Wouldn’t that be great?

Meh, I drive defensively and always watch for bad drivers, so that's way down on my list of concerns. Being carjacked is more likely.

Great. Let’s stop jacking cars AND driving drunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any amount of alcohol consumption impairs reflexes as well as the person's judgment, including as to how impaired they actually are.

Add to this that if stopped by police and you have had a thing to drink, you can be convicted of DUI based on the officers observations even if you are below the legally prohibited blood alcohol limit.

The only people who drink and drive are either alcoholics, very very foolish, or both

Very true, and you probably didn't know this until now, but every single person has some level of alcohol in their bloodstream, because the human body has yeast that is always fermenting and making it. Most people have a resting BAC that is measurable even with cheap vague breathalyzers. It varies by time of day also. Some rare people make enough to have high BAC levels, even approaching or exceeding legal limits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. In my house, if there is an alcohol event we pick each other up. We
Also do this for our young adult kids. It is almost never necessary but our practice is zero alcohol if you are driving so it happens on occasion.

I actually don't mind him having a weak light beer maybe two max while socializing for an hour after a golf round. He NEVER drinks while actually golfing. One of his friends just sold his company and ordered a couple of shots of whiskey while they were socializing after playing. They hit him while en route home. Thing is at country clubs, they will often make shots heavy, so those two shots of bourbon were possibly closer to four. He was thoroughly sloshed when he walked in the door.

Four shots of whiskey are not going to make a kid sloppy drunk, much less a full grown male.

Good luck telling that to a cop. A beer or two plus 2 to 4 shots of 80 to 110 proof whiskey in under an hour is drunk.

You just moved the goalposts. Stop making this something it isn't.

Do you know men who golf and then "have a quick beer" at the clubhouse bar while they chat about the round? They're not doing that for several hours, they're drinking for maybe one hour. If a man drinks one or two beers and a couple of strong shots in an hour they are going to be over-the-limit drunk in their car. End of story.

You are saying that. Not OP. Again, stop making things up. And yes, I'm a man who golfs and loves beer. It's very common for my to finish a round and have 3, 12 ounce lite beers in an hour or so and drive home. It's literally a nothing burger compared to the distracted, over medicated, texting loons out there.

Quite true.

Distracted driving due to phones, radio, etc. are the #1 cause of accidents on the highways.

Sleepy driving is #2 cause of accidents.

Lack of driving skills and cautiousness is #3 cause of accidents. This includes road rage, tailgating, improper merging, etc.

Weed is #4 cause of accidents and rapidly rising cause.

Drunk driving is way down the list for causing accidents and deaths. Most of those are due to being drunk and on other drugs combination. Weed and alcohol or prescriptions and alcohol are potent combos.

Wouldn’t it be great if people stopped driving distracted and under the influence? Let’s start by not driving drunk! Wouldn’t that be great?

Meh, I drive defensively and always watch for bad drivers, so that's way down on my list of concerns. Being carjacked is more likely.

Great. Let’s stop jacking cars AND driving drunk.

Fantasy Land is a nice thought. Reality laughs at it though.

Like trying to sweep back the tide with a broom. Just enjoy the waters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. In my house, if there is an alcohol event we pick each other up. We
Also do this for our young adult kids. It is almost never necessary but our practice is zero alcohol if you are driving so it happens on occasion.

I actually don't mind him having a weak light beer maybe two max while socializing for an hour after a golf round. He NEVER drinks while actually golfing. One of his friends just sold his company and ordered a couple of shots of whiskey while they were socializing after playing. They hit him while en route home. Thing is at country clubs, they will often make shots heavy, so those two shots of bourbon were possibly closer to four. He was thoroughly sloshed when he walked in the door.

Four shots of whiskey are not going to make a kid sloppy drunk, much less a full grown male.

Good luck telling that to a cop. A beer or two plus 2 to 4 shots of 80 to 110 proof whiskey in under an hour is drunk.

You just moved the goalposts. Stop making this something it isn't.

Do you know men who golf and then "have a quick beer" at the clubhouse bar while they chat about the round? They're not doing that for several hours, they're drinking for maybe one hour. If a man drinks one or two beers and a couple of strong shots in an hour they are going to be over-the-limit drunk in their car. End of story.

You are saying that. Not OP. Again, stop making things up. And yes, I'm a man who golfs and loves beer. It's very common for my to finish a round and have 3, 12 ounce lite beers in an hour or so and drive home. It's literally a nothing burger compared to the distracted, over medicated, texting loons out there.

Quite true.

Distracted driving due to phones, radio, etc. are the #1 cause of accidents on the highways.

Sleepy driving is #2 cause of accidents.

Lack of driving skills and cautiousness is #3 cause of accidents. This includes road rage, tailgating, improper merging, etc.

Weed is #4 cause of accidents and rapidly rising cause.

Drunk driving is way down the list for causing accidents and deaths. Most of those are due to being drunk and on other drugs combination. Weed and alcohol or prescriptions and alcohol are potent combos.

Wouldn’t it be great if people stopped driving distracted and under the influence? Let’s start by not driving drunk! Wouldn’t that be great?

Meh, I drive defensively and always watch for bad drivers, so that's way down on my list of concerns. Being carjacked is more likely.

Great. Let’s stop jacking cars AND driving drunk.

Fantasy Land is a nice thought. Reality laughs at it though.

Like trying to sweep back the tide with a broom. Just enjoy the waters.

So you’re good with drunk driving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. In my house, if there is an alcohol event we pick each other up. We
Also do this for our young adult kids. It is almost never necessary but our practice is zero alcohol if you are driving so it happens on occasion.

I actually don't mind him having a weak light beer maybe two max while socializing for an hour after a golf round. He NEVER drinks while actually golfing. One of his friends just sold his company and ordered a couple of shots of whiskey while they were socializing after playing. They hit him while en route home. Thing is at country clubs, they will often make shots heavy, so those two shots of bourbon were possibly closer to four. He was thoroughly sloshed when he walked in the door.

Four shots of whiskey are not going to make a kid sloppy drunk, much less a full grown male.

Good luck telling that to a cop. A beer or two plus 2 to 4 shots of 80 to 110 proof whiskey in under an hour is drunk.

You just moved the goalposts. Stop making this something it isn't.

Do you know men who golf and then "have a quick beer" at the clubhouse bar while they chat about the round? They're not doing that for several hours, they're drinking for maybe one hour. If a man drinks one or two beers and a couple of strong shots in an hour they are going to be over-the-limit drunk in their car. End of story.

You are saying that. Not OP. Again, stop making things up. And yes, I'm a man who golfs and loves beer. It's very common for my to finish a round and have 3, 12 ounce lite beers in an hour or so and drive home. It's literally a nothing burger compared to the distracted, over medicated, texting loons out there.

Pounding 3 beers after every round of golf? Tell us you're divorced and single without telling us you're divorced and single.

Faithfully married for 23 years, made 550k last year, and probably coached your son in baseball. Guess what? He sucked and we all laughed at how fat you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

This was not a mistake. This was a grown man whose longstanding issue of problem drinking has grown to the point where his spouse is forced to cry out for help on the Internet

Why do people this sour read their own stuff into other people’s posts? You literally have no idea if this is true.

Not pp but its sad how alcoholics in denial feel so defensive.

Are you saying every person who drives drunk is an alcoholic?

Dangerous.

.

Yup. And they are criminals.

So let’s assume you are not an alcoholic. You get drunk. You ask yourself “Should I drive? Since I’m not an alcoholic, it must be ok for me to drive since only alcoholics drive drunk.”

Drunks make very bad decisions. Look at your own past to confirm.

You are hilarious. Now a guy who drinks three cans of beer after walking 6 miles and playing 18 holes of golf is a 'drunk'?

I bet 50 bucks that you are a single cat lady that has a moustache.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trying to be the alcohol nanny is a bad move and counterproductive. If he doesn't drink much it's insulting and controlling and says you don't trust him to learn from this error and correct in the future. If he is a drinker he will just hide it more. Either way you end up a nagging unhappy shrew.
I am a woman and non-drinker but overeat. DH learned not being my food police makes us both happier and me thinner.

Overeating and driving drunk are two completely different things.

Addictive behaviour and sneaking after being told to swear off are the same. It's the mind.