late bloomer--no dating in high school?

[Anonymous]

Of course it is not normal to have zero communication with individuals from the opposite sex!

Not dating is normal, always has been, though judging by both my teens friends still the majority of them have dates during HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The echo chamber here are so confident this is normal that they're... reporting posts by users who say actually, this is abnormal, socially stunted behavior.

You're super weird.

I'm very confident that this behavior -not dating in HS- is normal. FWIW, my DC had a significant other during the senior year but broke up at the end as they are going sep ways. But very few of my kid's friend have had a GF/BF and even fewer had one that was serious. These are smart, good-looking, "normal" kids. They are enjoying their youth w/o the baggage and pressure of a relationship. t

That's not abnormal or socially stunted. In fact, sleeping around and dating a lot is mostly "normal" in those small, middle-of-nowhere towns (like the one I grew up in) where girls are having babies at 15. I'll take the status quo here over that.

And, I'm pretty sure those other posts were reported (if what you say is even true) b/c they are nasty and calling children names. And for that reason, they should be taken down. Now, you're an a$$hole. But as an adult, hopefully this one will stay up. Plus, if you can dish it, you should take it.

You can’t deny the interest in other gender exists and starts to manifest in the early teenage years. It’s not like teens are asexual organisms until mommy says it’s ok.

I really doubt you have any idea about the sex life of your kids friends, kinda bizarre to make this claim. Even more weird is your assumption that a relationship entails baggage and pressure. Just because that’s what you personally experienced, it doesn’t mean everybody perceives it that way.

You're moving the goalposts. I never said that "the interest in other genders doesn't exist or doesn't start to manifest in the early teenage years." I also never said teens are asexual and certainly never indicated parent approval was needed. So, let's start there. You're lying about what is being said.

Second, you are pretty arrogant to think you're in a better position to know what I know. So, you have zero credibility here.

Third, This comes down to kids these days making different decisions as to relationships. It has nothing to do with "baggage" (seriously, did you even read any of the posts; no one said that) or pressure. It's that they have more important things to do and they realize they aren't ready for dating.

Lastly I never said "everybody perceives it that way." More lying. Again, ALL kids are not this way but many are. Certainly the majority around where I live in Virginia. And that is def not stunted, abnormal, or anything else negative but kids making different choices that I did when I was in HS.

You want to have a serious argument? Understand what you're arguing and ditch the lies and hyperbole.

Thank you! This describes my DD, her friends and the majority of her classmates at her competitive high school. They are not abnormal or stunted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The echo chamber here are so confident this is normal that they're... reporting posts by users who say actually, this is abnormal, socially stunted behavior.

You're super weird.

I'm very confident that this behavior -not dating in HS- is normal. FWIW, my DC had a significant other during the senior year but broke up at the end as they are going sep ways. But very few of my kid's friend have had a GF/BF and even fewer had one that was serious. These are smart, good-looking, "normal" kids. They are enjoying their youth w/o the baggage and pressure of a relationship. t

That's not abnormal or socially stunted. In fact, sleeping around and dating a lot is mostly "normal" in those small, middle-of-nowhere towns (like the one I grew up in) where girls are having babies at 15. I'll take the status quo here over that.

And, I'm pretty sure those other posts were reported (if what you say is even true) b/c they are nasty and calling children names. And for that reason, they should be taken down. Now, you're an a$$hole. But as an adult, hopefully this one will stay up. Plus, if you can dish it, you should take it.

You can’t deny the interest in other gender exists and starts to manifest in the early teenage years. It’s not like teens are asexual organisms until mommy says it’s ok.

I really doubt you have any idea about the sex life of your kids friends, kinda bizarre to make this claim. Even more weird is your assumption that a relationship entails baggage and pressure. Just because that’s what you personally experienced, it doesn’t mean everybody perceives it that way.

You're moving the goalposts. I never said that "the interest in other genders doesn't exist or doesn't start to manifest in the early teenage years." I also never said teens are asexual and certainly never indicated parent approval was needed. So, let's start there. You're lying about what is being said.

Second, you are pretty arrogant to think you're in a better position to know what I know. So, you have zero credibility here.

Third, This comes down to kids these days making different decisions as to relationships. It has nothing to do with "baggage" (seriously, did you even read any of the posts; no one said that) or pressure. It's that they have more important things to do and they realize they aren't ready for dating.

Lastly I never said "everybody perceives it that way." More lying. Again, ALL kids are not this way but many are. Certainly the majority around where I live in Virginia. And that is def not stunted, abnormal, or anything else negative but kids making different choices that I did when I was in HS.

You want to have a serious argument? Understand what you're arguing and ditch the lies and hyperbole.

Nobody is moving the goal posts, you literally said this:

“They are enjoying their youth w/o the baggage and pressure of a relationship.”

Sounds like you’re doing a lot of projecting here. I’m very skeptical that you have intimate insight into the relations and sex life of your child’s friends, the mere fact that you think you do shows me you need to understand your boundaries better. Again you’re projecting and think you know what teens want and what’s important to them.

OPs question was about no one on one contact with the opposite sex, which I think it’s not normal and likely involves strict parent rules.

[Anonymous]

And this same thread can be had in couple years with just a few tweaks to say girl isn’t married yet and is that normal. If live Utah, Arkansas, Idaho, median age for first marriage for women is 24/25. Feel abnormal there? Move and median age in DC and NY is 30.

[Anonymous]

There’s a very strong correlation between teens not dating and their parents disapproving of it. But sure, blame it on the competitive high school and the busy extracurriculars. Some people on the thread are in serious denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a rich white lady thing to be worried about. Most kids don't date around in high school, OP.

+2 teens are in their rooms on their devices. How can they date?

[Anonymous]

Most parents don't encourage dating and sexual relationships in high school, and boys dating in high school definitely want sexual relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most parents don't encourage dating and sexual relationships in high school, and boys dating in high school definitely want sexual relationships.

We’re not talking about parents encouraging, we’re talking about leaving it up to the adolescent to decide as a personal matter. It’s fine for them to learn what they want in a partner and how to be a good one in return, and that may include sex. I don’t expect my teen to check in with me about this.

Funny that you mention boys wanting sex, as if girls are only interested in preserving their chastity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a very strong correlation between teens not dating and their parents disapproving of it. But sure, blame it on the competitive high school and the busy extracurriculars. Some people on the thread are in serious denial.

I’m guessing OP doesn’t disapprove though. She started this thread because she appears st least a little worried that her kid has t dated at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a very strong correlation between teens not dating and their parents disapproving of it. But sure, blame it on the competitive high school and the busy extracurriculars. Some people on the thread are in serious denial.

I’m guessing OP doesn’t disapprove though. She started this thread because she appears st least a little worried that her kid has t dated at all.

We don’t know all the details. We’ve seen posts of parents concerned about their kids having no friends, but they never do anything during childhood to support development of social skills.

[Anonymous]

Not dating in high school is not normal for the older generations, but it is becoming more common for later generations.

https://aibm.org/commentary/gen-zs-romance-gap-why-nearly-half-of-young-men-arent-dating/

For gen z, 44% of men never dated as teenagers, while it was only 20% for boomers.

Cited reasons for the decline include technology usage promoting passivity, video games taking time away from personal interactions, and parents being too involved in their children’s life and not giving them independence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the original poster and I'm not worried, just curious and wondering from those with older. kids.

She hasn't really texted any guys in high school. Does this just turn on a dime in college? Do college boys start asking girls out on dates or to hang out? Cause it hasn't happened in high school.

Sadly, it will be worse in college. Not much dating more hooking up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a very strong correlation between teens not dating and their parents disapproving of it. But sure, blame it on the competitive high school and the busy extracurriculars. Some people on the thread are in serious denial.

Overbearing parents is about the least likely reason why American teen boys are not dating. And competitive high school and tons of ECs are how boys would meet and socialize with lots of peer girls. Acute anxiety, Asperger's, questioning their sexuality, porn addiction, and video game addiction are far more likely reasons why a boy would never have a relationship with a girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a very strong correlation between teens not dating and their parents disapproving of it. But sure, blame it on the competitive high school and the busy extracurriculars. Some people on the thread are in serious denial.

Overbearing parents is about the least likely reason why American teen boys are not dating. And competitive high school and tons of ECs are how boys would meet and socialize with lots of peer girls. Acute anxiety, Asperger's, questioning their sexuality, porn addiction, and video game addiction are far more likely reasons why a boy would never have a relationship with a girl.

Depends on the EC, sports are segregated by gender, some ECs like robotics, chess skew heavily male.

Having a mixed group of friends is a more organic way to promote interaction with the opposite gender.

Social media has a far stronger impact on girls anxiety and expectations than boys and girls are more likely to question their sexuality. It goes both ways. You can’t blame just boys about young people not having romantic relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not dating in high school is not normal for the older generations, but it is becoming more common for later generations.

True but doesn't mean that it's healthy. Sometimes what is common is very unhealthy.