late bloomer--no dating in high school?
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Anonymous
Many people casual date until their late 20s or 30s when they start seriously dating looking for a mate. Men even later than that. Not really what OP is talking about though. |
Anonymous
They’re immature and insecure until then. |
Anonymous
This was me too (outside of a very brief and mostly unwanted boy I met on a city bus who called me constantly for a couple weeks…and one guy I kissed at my friends house at 15 but never dated) and my parents weren’t strict, I was just socially immature (now I know related to adhd) and I made up for it in college |
Anonymous
Yes. I think if you go to school with a lot of the same kids for most of your life, and you are also dealing with a lot of the social group dynamics and self consciousness of high school, once you get to college and mix with new people who don’t remember what you were like at 12, people get a lot braver. |
Anonymous
+1 I didn't date at all in HS, just a couple times in college and early 20s, then decided to really focus on putting myself out there and making connections in my late 20s. I had a good sense of myself and was good at listening to my gut in my reactions to people. Met DH at 30 and married a year and a half later. Going on 25 yrs now My kids (boy and girl) didn't date in HS. By choice - both were asked out and didn't want to. DD isn't dating in college either. DS does a bit, very casually, from what I can tell. I figure like me they will get there eventually. I read once that you don't necessarily need to practice dating but you do need experience with relationships with friends. That rang true to me. Both my kids are excellent friends so I'm confident they will both find romantic partners when they are ready. |
Anonymous
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My daughter will be 19 in August and she still hasn't dated and neither has most of her friend group besides 1 boy. They have all known each other since the beginning of middle school and are just into hanging out, school and working.
As for my daughter she's very picky and very full of herself so finding a boyfriend that she actually likes and will put up with her may take her awhile but she has other things to focus on and if and when she decides to start dating she will. |
Anonymous
drinking |
Anonymous
Ok so you’re pushing 60 and giving dating advice. Things might have changed a bit, just so you know. Young people are less likely to date or have sex for various reasons. Some of it is the hook up culture, more isolation from screens and social media, etc. For the college educated there’s almost twice as many women as men in college, so that changes the dating market a bit. May not be the case for OP but there are a lot of parents that forbid dating in high school, and they are utterly surprised when the young adult doesn’t have the maturity to find and maintain a relationship. |
Anonymous
This is a unusual. On my own kid I’ve seen some type of interest as 1:1 talking, texting walking together home starting with the 4th grade and keeps ramping up slowly over the years. Still quite innocent, just learning to interact with the opposite gender. While boys are more oblivious in the early years, girls are far more savvy and even in middle school they try set up situations to have interactions with boys, get a friend to probe if he likes her, dropping a not so subtle hint etc. Are you very strict, did you give the daughter the message that she is not allowed to date, etc? My kid’s friend said he would never tell his parents if he had a girlfriend or anything leading up to that, because the parents would start asking “does she play the piano, is she good in school, are your grades dropping bc of her”. |
Anonymous
My daughter is picky too... but I get this because the boys in her high school tend to either be jerky bros or awkward geeks. There are few in the middle--few that are social, kind, interesting. I have two sons (one older, one younger) so this is no slight against boys in general. Mine were not (and are not) prime dating material in high school either. I think by college some of the bros become their own people (vs just following the bro pack) and some of the geeks open up and socialize more. |
Anonymous
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My eldest DD didn’t date in HS; out of her friend group of 5, only 1 girl dated. They all just finished their sophomore year of college and it’s still only the one girl who has dated. My DD went to coed high school. I think she is very impatient with guys. I do find it odd but from my observation it’s normal for her year.
My other DD is a rising high school senior and she has been on 2 movie dates, no boyfriend. She is at an all girls high school. We’ll see what happens when she starts college next fall. |
Anonymous
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My son hasn't dated since freshman year, and he is now a senior. Freshman year was just a few dates with a young lady and it ultimately didn't work out.
He's involved in activities at school, but all of them skew male (e.g. math club, robotics). He has one close female friend from childhood, from our neighborhood but at a different school. They hang out sometimes but it is completely platonic. |
Anonymous
| A LOT of kids aren't dating in HS. I think Covid combined with communicating on devices stunted social growth. I work at a place with HS interns and I'd say a solid half of them go to prom with friends, not dates. |
Anonymous
Unless part of group going to grad school and then not even late then. The higher go in education the more put off any relationship for many. |
Anonymous
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My DS graduated HS in 2021 COVID year without prom and no in person school senior year. He very casually dated/met up with a classmate he considered his first girlfriend although relationship fizzled out by graduation.
That summer, he met his future girlfriend and they have been together ever since. Both out of college now but in no hurry to live together- each content to live at home, save money, focus on new careers. |