late bloomer--no dating in high school?
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Anonymous
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If your child never dated in high school did things change in college?
By no dates I mean no communication or texting or 1:1 with the opposite sex aside from going with a male "date" in a group of kids to homecoming or prom. She is going to graduate next week and I'm so curious about this. She'll be 19 in the fall. |
Anonymous
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This was me OP. Went to a small private high school so very little selection for dating and my parents were extremely conservative. Dated a lot in college once I got away from parents and high school.
I was also taller than most boys in high school, so that didn't help dating and seemed to intimidate guys. |
Anonymous
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It's normal now.
Nobody's in a hurry to get on the job-marriage-kids grindset. |
Anonymous
| This is such a rich white lady thing to be worried about. Most kids don't date around in high school, OP. |
Anonymous
| Has many upsides! Romantic relationships in high school can cause a lot of issues and worries and impede friendships. She’ll be fine. |
Anonymous
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I'm the original poster and I'm not worried, just curious and wondering from those with older. kids.
She hasn't really texted any guys in high school. Does this just turn on a dime in college? Do college boys start asking girls out on dates or to hang out? Cause it hasn't happened in high school. |
Anonymous
+1 Totally normal. |
Anonymous
| Normal. |
Anonymous
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My kids - DS and DD - were focussed on their studies and EC activities. Popular kids (public magnet HS, public in-state flagship college) who had many circle of friends from their various activities. Most of their friends were not dating because they had packed schedules. They did go as a group on trips, proms, homecoming, international travel, scholastic competitions etc. Not shy kids but not into the dating and romance scene.
What happened in college? They had a vast social network and they also dated casually (at least a coffee date or going to an event together kind of date) extensively. Eventually, they did get together with their SOs after knowing them as friends for a couple years. I think majority of the kids are comfortable not being in a relationship and are focussed on their career path. But, if they are balanced people - career focussed, mentally ok, emotionally whole, pleasant and attractive - their chance of a supportive and positive romantic connection increases in college. I would suggest to parents that they need to focus on the mental and emotional well being of their children. Get them the therapy that they need. And doing well in studies and having a well-illuminated career path and way to earn a decent livelihood also plays a role in the mental well-being of your children. |
Anonymous
| 19 in the Fall? Anything else going on? How are her friend (non-romantic) relationships? |
Anonymous
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No, that's normal these days.
A late bloomer would be someone not dating in college. |
Anonymous
Sadly that's true now. Just a hookup culture now. Casual sex. |
Anonymous
Nope. Nothing. Studies show that high schoolers are much less sexually active than they used to be. The one upside of social media, apparently 
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Anonymous
| Do boys start texting girls and asking them out in college? what changes with them? |
Anonymous
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I didn’t seriously start dating until I was in my
30s. In fact, most of my friends were like this. We all have been happily married for decades now. You don’t need to do a ton of dating to know what will work best for you in a partnership. Taking the time to know who you are is valuable too. Let your DD figure out which way works best for her. |