Why do people feel entitled to not live with roommates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why people think that living with roommates is immature. I think it’s financially savvy. DH could have afforded a 1br, but he saved a ton of cash instead that we were able to use as a down payment on a lovely house. I also lived with roommates, and was able to put a ton towards retirement. If we’d both lived alone, we’d be in a much worse place, financially.

The most immature person I know felt entitled to live in a studio in NYC on $30,000 a year. Then she complained constantly about finances. I felt really embarrassed for her.

+1

My DH continued living with roommates for an additional 2-3yrs even when he could’ve easily afforded his own place. We were dating for much of that time and I also lived with a roommate though could’ve afforded a studio or similar. We were able to save a lot of $ and were happy where we were (both living in cheap places with college and grad school friends). Everyone had their own bedrooms. It was mostly fun. Eventually we moved in together (into our own place), bought first home soon after.

[Anonymous]

I had roommates in college and also when I lived in a very expensive city for grad school.

I cherished living alone before being married. I grew up in a household with a mentally ill sibling and it was exhausting. I loved having my own space and hearing myself think. My roommate in grad school was super odd and only left the house to go to work and visit their parent once a month. They didn't date or seem to have friends and were very controlling and OCD to the degree that we couldn't share the same side of the fridge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I consume a lot of financial media and often see posts detailing how difficult it is for the typical person to afford life, then see an example budget breakdown and they’re showing someone on 65k/yr trying to live in a 1BR in HCOL area while driving a brand new car. Whenever people talk about housing affordability there’s NEVER any mention of just getting a roommate or sharing a house which is what most people actually do. Nobody is paying $2k month rent on a 65k salary.

+1 I had roommates for several years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They didn't grow up with Golden Girls

And Threeʻs Company!

also:

Kate & Allie

The Odd Couple

Don’t forget Friends. Gen-X TV kid here, and pop culture taught me that having roommates is fun! The reality of it wasn’t always fun, but it’s good for learning how to compromise and coexist with other humans. I hate the thought of young people just hiding away by themselves with their screens.

I don't actually think it is great to coexist within a home/apartment. Coexisting is hard even with families. I have a teen ds who wakes up at 5am...wakes me up. Dh goes to bed way too late...wakes me up. Sharing chores and various levels of comfort with cleanliness and clutter is hard as well. Compromise is sort of a myth when it comes to one's bio rhythms and habits: someone always sacrifices more and gets to experience discomfort. I live with it just fine because it's my family and I love them. Roommates I don't love? No, it would drive me crazy.

Did you ever have roommates before you were married and had a family?

[Anonymous]

My DD is currently apartment hunting as she will graduate college in May and has a job lined up that will start June 16. It's been a nightmare so far.

She's run into the issue of many apartment complexes wanting proof that the renter has 5x the rent amount in the bank with a proof of funds letter from the bank sent directly to the leasing office from the bank. What 22 year old has that? These aren't even the nice, luxury apartment complexes in the city where she's looking. Even some people renting out their basement apartments are starting to require this.

She's been living off-campus for 3 years in an apartment. We assist with the rent there. We're willing to cosign, but so far, all apartment complexes have also had rules that cosigners cannot be out of state, which we are. Le sigh.

Ideally, she wants to live alone. She has had a string of terrible roommates the past 2 years. Her roommate last year paid for college by having an OF account. She filmed in the apartment and also filmed collabs in the apartment with other OF people, which meant there were always random strange men coming and going.

Her roommate this year is having some mental health struggles and doesn't seem to have receptive or supportive parents. DD has had to call 911 several times when the roommate was threatening to self-harm. Lots of sleepless nights and stress from the roommate's threats. DD does all she can, but other than temporary holds in the ER, without the roommate or her parents willing to work with the college's mental health services, their hands are tied. Very frustrating to hear about from DD.

And yes, both of these roommates are people with whom DD knew and was friends with prior to living together. But it's true what they say, you don't really know someone until you live with them.

[Anonymous]

Maybe consume less "financial media" and stop getting mad at strangers on the internet.

Just an idea.

[Anonymous]

Everyone will own nothing and they will be happy.

We shall smash the imperialist running-dogs, eliminate the bourgeoise, and establish a workers’ paradise where housing will be redistributed fairly amongst the proletariat!

[Anonymous]

There is a lot of political noise about housing affordability, and how older generations had it so good while young generations cannot afford basic life. A lot of it is propaganda based on vast generalization and not reality of how things were, how they are, and how different areas simply have diff levels of affordability.

In HCOL cities life became unaffordable decades ago for an avg. entry level worker. Anyone who complains how today 25 year olds cannot afford a modest SFH forgets that we couldn't afford it back then either unless we were further into our well paying careers, got married to consolidate incomes, or moved out of state for LCOL housing or bought condos or townhomes in exurbs as our "starter homes".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is currently apartment hunting as she will graduate college in May and has a job lined up that will start June 16. It's been a nightmare so far.

She's run into the issue of many apartment complexes wanting proof that the renter has 5x the rent amount in the bank with a proof of funds letter from the bank sent directly to the leasing office from the bank. What 22 year old has that? These aren't even the nice, luxury apartment complexes in the city where she's looking. Even some people renting out their basement apartments are starting to require this.

She's been living off-campus for 3 years in an apartment. We assist with the rent there. We're willing to cosign, but so far, all apartment complexes have also had rules that cosigners cannot be out of state, which we are. Le sigh.

Ideally, she wants to live alone. She has had a string of terrible roommates the past 2 years. Her roommate last year paid for college by having an OF account. She filmed in the apartment and also filmed collabs in the apartment with other OF people, which meant there were always random strange men coming and going.

Her roommate this year is having some mental health struggles and doesn't seem to have receptive or supportive parents. DD has had to call 911 several times when the roommate was threatening to self-harm. Lots of sleepless nights and stress from the roommate's threats. DD does all she can, but other than temporary holds in the ER, without the roommate or her parents willing to work with the college's mental health services, their hands are tied. Very frustrating to hear about from DD.

And yes, both of these roommates are people with whom DD knew and was friends with prior to living together. But it's true what they say, you don't really know someone until you live with them.

Life is about compromise, especially in adulthood. She will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of this really does boil down to an introvert/extrovert thing. I was definitely an outlier in my 20s for not having a roomate/housemate as most if my coworkers did. The tradeoff for me was living in a 350 ft studio. I had roommates all through college, but primarily only people I knew well before we were roommates. I value my privacy and alone time and didn't want to risk dealing with a bad roommate fit after college.

I lived in a tiny studio in what some people called the “ ‘hood” as a 23 year old so that I could live alone. Nothing bad happened to me and I loved living alone. Win-Win

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because living with a roommate literally made me sick from lack of sleep. Am I not entitled to a quiet, peaceful place to live?

If you can afford it, sure.

[Anonymous]

Just another perspective.

I'm French and never lived with a roommate. Neither did my husband. Or my parents. Rented rooms in France are common, and studios can be tiny. My BIL is a landlord and builds houses that are made to be rented out by the room or the studio - mostly to students and young professionals. In Asia rooms are even tinier.

Here apartments are so large that of course, you have to share to be able to afford them!

There might be a building opportunity here...

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel entitled to tell people they must have a roommate? You have no ground to stand on, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone will own nothing and they will be happy.

We shall smash the imperialist running-dogs, eliminate the bourgeoise, and establish a workers’ paradise where housing will be redistributed fairly amongst the proletariat!

Inner party members will still need SFHs because of the important work that they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They didn't grow up with Golden Girls

And Threeʻs Company!

also:

Kate & Allie

The Odd Couple

Don’t forget Friends. Gen-X TV kid here, and pop culture taught me that having roommates is fun! The reality of it wasn’t always fun, but it’s good for learning how to compromise and coexist with other humans. I hate the thought of young people just hiding away by themselves with their screens.

I don't actually think it is great to coexist within a home/apartment. Coexisting is hard even with families. I have a teen ds who wakes up at 5am...wakes me up. Dh goes to bed way too late...wakes me up. Sharing chores and various levels of comfort with cleanliness and clutter is hard as well. Compromise is sort of a myth when it comes to one's bio rhythms and habits: someone always sacrifices more and gets to experience discomfort. I live with it just fine because it's my family and I love them. Roommates I don't love? No, it would drive me crazy.

Did you ever have roommates before you were married and had a family?

Yes and I did not like it: one was too loud including at night, some would bicker about cleaning constantly. I ended up doing it to keep the peace. Another one had some pretty huge personal issues I helped her navigate bc she had no family or friends in the us.