Why do people feel entitled to not live with roommates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because that doesn’t fix the underlying issue that housing costs are out of control. It’s just kicking the can further down the road - next its “just get 2 jobs” or “start a side hustle” when reality is that people should be able to afford housing and expenses on $65k. We shouldn’t need to be millionaires just to have a house and a car.

To put it in perspective - 5 years ago, I rented a 1 bedroom apartment for $700. That same apartment now goes for nearly $1400. Housing prices should NOT be doubling every 5 years, that’s insane.

Salaries are not rising in step with basic living costs, and getting a roommate won’t fix that problem.

You're missing the point(s). First, it was the norm for young adults to have roommates because we couldn't have afforded to live alone. This is not a new phenomenon. Second, we didn't complaint about it all the freakin' time. It was a fact of life, and you dealt with it. If you didn't like it, you worked to change it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only had roommates one year in college. I’ve not had roommates on a much lower salary than 65k. You can always find ways. I don’t trust random people with my person, my pets and my things, and like my own space and quiet.

I had way more roommates than I ever wanted, including in a group housing situation on a study abroad where 4 girls shared a bedroom. It's not ideal, but you get used to it. In fact we all keep in touch 20 years later.

Just zero desire. I made choices like a longer commute to avoid it, free housing for specific duties… I don’t think anyone is entitled to tell people how to live. We all have different likes and priorities.

What part of my response made you think I was telling you how to live? The OP also wasn't telling you how to live.

[Anonymous]

When I lived in Manhattan my friend group were all in early thirties guys and all had roomates. We are talking people with high incomes.

They wanted people to hang out with. Sitting alone is boring.

they even had Hampton house share rentals and some ski house share rentals. They liked living with people.

today people are anti social and weird

[Anonymous]

I had roommates well into my 30's. Then I found a crappy 1 bedroom with rent control. I rather live in this shitbox in an unsafe area than have a roommate. It's a choice.

[Anonymous]

Because living with a roommate literally made me sick from lack of sleep. Am I not entitled to a quiet, peaceful place to live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are no-roommate people.
college kids have singles, parent lives alone in 5 bedroom house and I live in a four bedroom.
I’d rather scrimp on something else.

This seems so selfish and a waste of resources. Typical rich aholes

Well, it’s clear why these people live alone. No one wants to live with them.

[Anonymous]

Because the last roommate I had was dating two guys at the same time. One of them (boyfriend A, a guy she'd dated for years before breaking up with him) became suspicious of her excuses and showed up at our apartment while she was there with the other guy (boyfriend B). He broke into our apartment and the two guys had a massive fight. I hid in my walk-in closet because I wasn't sure if the guy who broke in had a gun with him b/c I knew he had a concealed carry. I called 911 after lots of crashing and breaking glass. The police came, everyone was sent to separate areas to cool off and speak with an officer, and in the end, no charges were pressed.

She literally gaslit boyfriend B into believing boyfriend A was insane, a semi-stalker, and unable to move on after their breakup. It worked because they stayed together and have now been married for almost 15 years and have 2 kids.

She also got super upset with me for calling 911. She did random petty things for the next 6 months of our lease to make my life miserable. Things like throwing out mail that came for me, leaving the water dripping all day b/c I paid the water bill and she paid electric. More than once I went out to go to work in the morning and my tires would be deflated. This was in 2005-06, so before home security systems were super common.

Never again will I live with a roommate. I'd rather live with my parents or be one of those van life people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live with roommates. One is 10, the other 13. They are literally the worst. They never wipe down the sink, contribute nothing to the utilities and they expect rides to things. Don't get me started on them eating all of my groceries!

[Anonymous]

People used to get married earlier so the roommate phase was short.

People also used to have steady boyfriends/girlfriends, with OLD your roommate can be bringing home a rando dude every other night. That has a load of issues and is very unsafe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are no-roommate people.
college kids have singles, parent lives alone in 5 bedroom house and I live in a four bedroom.
I’d rather scrimp on something else.

This seems so selfish and a waste of resources. Typical rich aholes

Well, it’s clear why these people live alone. No one wants to live with them.

What's your net worth? If it's over $5k, why? This seems so selfish and a waste of resources. Typical rich aholes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She also got super upset with me for calling 911. She did random petty things for the next 6 months of our lease to make my life miserable. Things like throwing out mail that came for me, leaving the water dripping all day b/c I paid the water bill and she paid electric. More than once I went out to go to work in the morning and my tires would be deflated. This was in 2005-06, so before home security systems were super common.

Never again will I live with a roommate. I'd rather live with my parents or be one of those van life people.

This is a federal crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is stigma attached to it.

I lived with roommates until I moved in with my now husband -- I only lived alone for a short 6 month stint after grad school when I sacrificed proximity to my job in order to afford a studio apartment, and discovered I'd rather live with a roommate and have a short commute than live alone really far out.

But I remember feeling pressure to live alone and that many people, including my own parents, thought there was something inherently immature about living with roommates. I disagreed -- choosing to share an apartment was a mature choice IMO because it enabled me to live within my means, get by without a car, etc. Also, while I wasn't friends with all my roommates, I was friends with many of them, and that's a built in social circle for a young person starting out.

But that didn't stop people from making comments about when was I "finally" going to "grow up" and get my own place.

Ironically, many of the people I knew in my 20s who had their own apartments were heavily subsidized by their parents. Hmmm.

So true. If a guy has roommates, he is undateable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert and like my place clean and organized. I can't deal with roommates.

You need a major attitude-adjustment ASAP.

Live simply, so that others can simply live!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only had roommates one year in college. I’ve not had roommates on a much lower salary than 65k. You can always find ways. I don’t trust random people with my person, my pets and my things, and like my own space and quiet.

I had way more roommates than I ever wanted, including in a group housing situation on a study abroad where 4 girls shared a bedroom. It's not ideal, but you get used to it. In fact we all keep in touch 20 years later.

Just zero desire. I made choices like a longer commute to avoid it, free housing for specific duties… I don’t think anyone is entitled to tell people how to live. We all have different likes and priorities.

What part of my response made you think I was telling you how to live? The OP also wasn't telling you how to live.

The op clearly thinks people feel "entitled to not live with roommates". That is literally the topic question. And at least one person is arguing even further about it being a privileged position.

[Anonymous]

Traditionally, children lived at home with parents until they got married. Exceptions were military or when they migrated long distance for economic opportunity.

Before the 60s or so, people who lived away from home were generally supervised, by the military or college or in young ladies housing. But American liberalism/libertarianism/libertinism drove is to pretend it was smart for people to go out on their own without community structure, and then try to adapt.

Roommates are a weak adaptation to the breakdown of the traditional home.

Why would you think it a good idea to live with a stranger?